Roger Fallihee

Roger Fallihee
Seattle, Washington,
September 29
More Than Enough
Father, husband, project manager, screenwriter, blogger, peddler. Back to living in my native Queen Anne neighborhood. Life is good!

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APRIL 25, 2012 4:56PM

The Secret That Mitt Romney Will Never Reveal

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Mitt Romney is loath to discuss his Mormon faith for one very simple reason:  He knows that the more people learn about his secretive and mysterious religion, the less inclined they’ll be to entrust him with the security, safety, and well-being of America and Americans.  

For example, Mr. Romney believes that Mormons, and Mormons alone, are given a set of secret handshakes and passwords that will get them through the Pearly Gates and into heaven. 

While Romney may be tempted to share this valuable  information with non-Mormons, especially undecided voters in tightly contested swing states like Ohio, he will never do so, and for a damned good reason:  As a young man Mr. Romney took a solemn oath to never reveal this knowledge.  The penalty for breaking this promise is gruesome:  His throat would be slashed and his heart, lungs, and liver would be ripped from his torso.  (See videos below).

It all sounds like bullshit to me but the man who wants to send Barack Obama back to Kenya believes this to be a sacred fact.

Romney was asked if he is a strict adherent to the tenets of the fastest growing religion in North America, and he replied, “I’m not a cafeteria Mormon, if you will, I’m true-blue through and through."

(Per Romney's suggestion, I left a message regarding the handshakes with the LDS Temple in Salt Lake City, but have not yet received a return call).

So if the former Massachusetts governor is to be taken at his word, no sure thing based on his history of “nuance,” we have to assume that Mr. Romney is a fully committed Mormon who in his heart believes that a comically-odd looking series of handshakes and passwords is sacrosanct.  

You want to get into heaven?  What’s the secret password? 

For most Christians the pathway to heaven is fairly straightforward.  As I understand it, you accept Jesus Christ as your savior, pray for forgiveness whenever you do fucked-up things, obey a few basic rules (that are fairly easy to live with unless you have an uncontrollable urge to murder your neighbor and covet his wife), rinse and repeat, and you’re pretty much good to go. 

But in Romney’s world, that's not enough.  You also have to know the series of four secret passwords and handshakes, that Mormon Church founder Joseph Smith lifted from Freemason induction ceremonies, to gain admission to the Promised Land. 

Following is a short video reenactment of the secret ritual.  The accuracy of this video has been confirmed to me by noted ex-Mormon and retired history professor, Richard Packham.


Although the Mormon Church abandoned the following ceremony in 1990, this is the ritual that Mitt Romney would have gone through as a young man.

Mitt Romney and his supporters are quick to pounce on any mention of the oddities of his religion as "religious bigotry," and there are plenty of people, especially evangelicals, who think that Mormons are not true Christians.  (For the record I don't think that the validity of secret passwords and handshakes are any more or less believable than Noah living to be nine hundred and fifty years old... without the benefit of cancer screenings).
Okay, most people probably think that Mitt Romney is a little weird, but is that because of his religion or in spite of it?  My guess is "in spite of it."
Should Romney be given a pass if he ignores questions about secret handshakes and passwords, because they're an intrusion onto his right to worship as he sees fit?  No, he shouldn't.
Was it anybody's business that Barack Obama's preacher, Jeremiah Wright, espoused views that many people considered anti-American or anti-white?  Yes it was.
If Barack Obama believed that his "terrorist fist jab" would get him into heaven, would Sean Hannity leap to his defense?  No answer necessary.
Will Mitt Romney pounce on and exploit any opportunity he has to show that Barack Obama "isn't one of us?"  Of course he will.  
In a country that witnessed those on the right ridicule President Obama for merely mentioning "the price of arugula," or continuously repeat the lie that the president "goes around the world apologizing for America," I think that Romney's "quirky" rituals are fair game.
And just in case Romney turns out to be right, I will hedge my bets and learn the handshakes.
You never know.

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Interesting and very weird, Roger. But yes, you're absolutely right. If Jeremiah Wright is fair game, this is too.
As they sang on the South Park Mormon episode: dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb!
I can't bash the Mormons. They may be a weird cult full of insanopaths, but they did produce John Moses Browning...and for that they get a pass. Besides, freedom of religion and all that.
I'd rather dislike the guy for being a cardboard cut-out, out of touch a-hole weenie with a hard on for corporations.
Nice bit though!
I agree Doug. Romney is not getting my vote because of his religion. I have plenty of other reasons to vote for Obama.

Thanks froggy and Jeanette.
"unless you have an uncontrollable urge to murder your neighbor and covet his wife)"

Which I do everyday!!! Starting to run out of neighbors!! ~:D
no, no, no, it's not that. a true believer like romney is the result of more than a few generations of indoctrination, and it doesn't hurt that the family was and is very successful based on the sacrifices of prior generations.

it doesn't matter what the faith is and it doesn't matter how "rational" the beliefs appear to the outside observer when that is part of the puzzle. ask a diehard Catholic, an Orthodox Jew, a Scientologist, or a Shiite--a true believer is a true believer. Their greatest enemy is each other.

you're drifting very close to making the problem mormonism per se and that is a tunnel with no cheese. the context has to be bigger than that.
If you want to get the whole Romney as a Mormon running for President, you have to know a little about the prophecies of Joseph Smith and others after, as well as many of the teachings of the LDS church that were never sanctified yet were regularly taught openly. There is quite a bit about politics in there and many Mormons have been taught that a great Mormon priesthood holder (hi Mitt) will save the day, as "the constitution hangs by a thread". That's why that dimwit Beck used that expression all the time. He's also Mormon and anyone in the faith knows what he's referencing. Mitt, with his perfect Mormon pedigree (his family have been prominent in the LDS church from it's beginnings) would naturally see himself as chosen one...
The chosen one!! Oh My. It seems apocalyptic!! Im on Obama's side.
Don't worry, Roger, you got a pass to Heaven; see, I am St. Peter, and I will take care of all my friends. R
These religious practices don't seem any more wacky to me than practices of Christianity. Eating a cracker that is believed to turn into the bones of someone who died two thousand years ago is a little off the beam too. What concerns me about Romney (and he was my governor for four very long years) is Romney. Bain. Now that's some scary heartless stuff.
And... on second thought, I'm with greenheron. All religions are whacked out in their own way. I worry more about his policies.
I think having an understanding of what informs a persons thinking is relevant to elected public office. If a person is far out of the mainstream of thinking, the mainstream of cultural norms and values, how does that person become a good leader?
We need a leader. In terms of countries America is the leader on the world stage, so at their core what are the values of those we chose to lead us? There is much to learn about mormonism and how its adherents learn and think about the world around them. Never forget that when we had a Secretary of the Interior (James Watt) who professed that "Jesus was coming soon, so what does it matter what we do to the earth now?" we got policies that reflected an acceptance of use and abuse of public spaces for short term profits.
And before someone accuses me of "religious bigotry" I will state for the record I am not a christian, nor do I hold any particular religious persuasion. But I am deeply interested in what forms the basis of a person's ethics. To me, it seems Romney's ethics are about enriching his backers and hiding the truth about whatever his personal beliefs are that to me is a pretty bad reason to elect him President of the United States.
As the father of four children who disappeared into Utah 16 years ago in a Mormon abduction, I'm going to have much to say about Mitt Romney throughout the campaign.

Thanks to the Mormons who kidnapped my children and put them through a forced immersion that led to the death of my son Aaron Cruz, Oregon has become the first and only state in the nation where child abduction creates a civil cause of action.

In 2005, as Senator Avel Gordly's chief of staff, I led her workgroup on her landmark child abduction statute, Senate Bill 1041, which immediately became known as "Aaron's Law", as it passed on a dramatic end-of-session unanimous House vote not long after his death in Payson, Utah.

The Mormon church is notoriously intolerant of religious views that differ with its one approved line of thought. Ask any of the thousands of former Mormons designated as "apostates" for having expressed disagreement or left the church who are victims of organized Mormon shunnings. The LDS church and all of its doctrine simply does not recognize religious freedom.

And should you suffer the terrible bad fortune of having your son or daughter marry into the Romney (or any other Mormon) family, say goodbye to any plans you ever had of attending your own child's wedding. They'll make you wait outside.

It is one thing to believe something as an aspect of religion, and in that regard we are ostensibly all free to believe practically any thing at all, but that freedom ends where a person or a congregation acts on its beliefs, enforcing its "no contact" rules on children caught in the middle, for example. Particularly when those actions involve the severing of families and child abuse, and for those actions the Mormon church must be held accountable in the political process.
I really coudln't give a shit less if they stick their fingers up their asses and blow bubbles out their ears during their ceremonies. ALL religions are fraud.

What concerns me is that, since this country switched to godolitics instead of politics, we must constantly battle some bullshit religion that should NOT be a part of the process, regardless of the religion.

We're on the brink of having to choose our government based upon what god they believe in and that's the frightening issue.