Newt Gingrich is under a barrage of attacks from conservative leaders who crap their pants at the thought of the narcissistic former Speaker becoming the 45th President of the United States.

The most recent attacks focus on the fact that Gingrich wasn't the loyal Reaganite that he presents himself to be.  In this YouTube clip Gingrich argues that if George H.W. Bush runs as a continuation of Ronald Reagan he will lose.

Both Romney and Gingrich have enough self-contradictions and flip-flops to call that pathetic duel a draw.  But one thing you will probably never see from Mr. Romney is this hideous fashion faux pas:

"I didn't choose those socks and I have several friends and relatives that can back me up on that.  I was having an affair with a staff member, more of a "fuck buddy" than an actual employee, and she laid out the wrong socks.  It was a dark morning, I was running late for my meeting with President Reagan, we were trying to make sure that we didn't wake up her husband, and I didn't look closely enough at the socks."

Gingrich continued, "The woman that I'm currently sleeping with when Calista isn't around has impeccable fashion sense.  You won't see a mistake like that again."