Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) refused to submit to a TSA full-body pat-down after setting off an alarm at Nashville Airport security. Senator Paul's unwillingness to be touched "down there" by another man can only mean one of two things.
1) The diminutive Rand Paul has a small dick and is worried that a mean-spirited TSA employee might humiliate him.
2) Rand Paul has spent his entire teen and adult life repressing homosexual urges and he's afraid that, in the words of Seinfeld's George Costanza, "it might move."
Is Mr. Paul worried that the TSA employee might say, after repeatedly running his hand across the Senator's smooth crotch, "I apologize ma'am. I'll get a female agent over here right away?"
Or is he simply terrified that the mere sight of a young, handsome, TSA agent wearing a latex glove might cause him to spring a boner and open the torrent of consequences that come with forty years of burying his true feelings?
Those are really the only two reasons to freak out about a TSA pat-down. If you have at least an average sized dick and you're pretty sure that you really do enjoy what the female anatomy has to offer, what's there to worry about?