According to the Reverend Pat Robertson, Ellen Degeneres' lesbianism caused both 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina and chances are he believes that her need for unnatural, Satanic sex also caused the BP oil spill.
When Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans in 2005 it didn't take long for the Robertson to point out what most of us already knew; God had punished the hometown of the popular television host because the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences had hired her to host that year's Emmy Awards.“By choosing an avowed lesbian for this national event, these Hollywood elites have clearly invited God’s wrath,” Robertson said on “The 700 Club” on Sunday. “Is it any surprise that the Almighty chose to strike at Miss Degeneres’ hometown?”
No Ms. Degeneres it isn't any surprise. The surprise is that you've chosen to flaunt your aberrant lifestyle with no regard to the devastating consequences.
Even Pat Robertson probably thinks that the idea of you hopping into bed with Portia de Rossi is pretty hot, but not at the expense and lives of millions of Americans.
Robertson also pointed out the timing between her 2001 appearance on the Emmys and 9/11. "This is the second time in a row that God has invoked a disaster shortly before lesbian Ellen Degeneres hosted the Emmy Awards,” Robertson explained to his approximately one million viewers. “America is waiting for her to apologize for the death and destruction that her sexual deviance has brought onto this great nation.”
That's right Ellen, and we're still waiting.
In the meantime your selfish and narcissistic need to piss off your family and keep your name in the tabloids might result in $5.00 a gallon gas and some yucky tasting shrimp cocktails.
Ms. Degeneres, for the sake of our country, your country, please renounce lesbianism and get yourself a man. You're an attractive woman with a nice smile and an even nicer checkbook. Surely it will be easy for you to find yourself a good guy that, in time, will make you forget that Portia de Rossi even exists. (Okay, maybe that won't be so easy.)
And by the way, if you do choose (and you know that it is a choice) to go back to the normal, God-approved way of having sex, please stay away from your American Idol co-host, Randy Jackson.
That will just open up another big ol' can of worms that none of us need.
Photo Credit: Insidesocal.com
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Comments
The good news is that this way of thinking is dying out. Really. It is.
Undeniable proof that G-d has a twisted sense of humor.
Rated.
Damn, I'm so confused!
Good work Roger!
Somehow I just don't by The Rev. Mr. Robertson's explanation. I think it more likely that building a city below sea level on the edge of a hurricane infested underwater oil field has a lot more to do with it.
Another take I read from a Muslim point of view about Katrina posted on line back then was "Corporal Katrina reporting for duty."
P.S. I always though "Patty" was more than a little Andro.
For God's sake keep Ellen out of the Space Program and away from free-floating asteroids!