Starring . . .

Hillary Clinton as June

Joe Biden as Ward

Rahm Emanuel as Wally

Stanley McChrystal as Eddie McHaskell

David Petraeus as Lumpy Rutherford

and

Barry Mathers as The Beaver

Tonight's Episode . . .

“Beaver Makes a Tough Decision”

Eddie McHaskell walks up the sidewalk to the Cleavers' new White House. He rings the doorbell. June Cleaver (in pearls) and Ward Cleaver (in a suit) let Eddie in.

EDDIE

Thats's a lovely foreign policy you have, Mrs. Cleaver.

WARD

You can stop with the flattery, Eddie. Mrs. Cleaver and I heard about what you wrote about us on the bathroom wall at school.

JUNE

The Beaver was especially hurt about what you said about him, Eddie. He's very sensitive.

EDDIE

Gosh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Cleaver. I was just kidding around, honest. I'd never say anything intentionally hurtful about young Theodore. I have the highest respect for him and all his playfellows.

Wally comes running down the stairs.

EDDIE

Hi, Wally. I came to apologize to you and Theodore.

WALLY

Can it, willya, Eddie? The Beaver's really had it with you this time, ya creep. He doesn't want to play with you, so get lost.

JUNE

I think you'd better go now, Eddie.

Eddie leaves dejected.

Beaver comes downstairs.

BEAVER

Is Eddie gone?

WARD

Yes, Beaver, Eddie's gone. Now you and Wally are going to clean up the mess you made at Metzger's Field. With everything you left lying around when you were playing, it's dangerous for the people who live near there.

BEAVER

Gee, Dad, can't we just pretend we didn't make the mess? Metzger's Field is all the way at the other end of town.

WARD

No, Beaver, you can't just pretend.

Fade in to Wally and Beaver outside their White House, with trash cans and rags to clean up Metzger's Field.

WALLY

Hey, Beav. Whaddaya say we stop off and get Lumpy Rutherford to help us clean up Metzger's Field, now that we can't hang around with Eddie?

BEAVER

Gee, Wally, I dunno. I guess it'd be okay. I sure hope he doesn't faint on us again.

WALLY

Heck, Beav. Don't worry. Have you noticed how nothing really bad ever happens to us, even when it happens to other people?

BEAVER

I guess you're right. It's too bad the rest of the world isn't as lucky as us, huh Wally?

Close up on Beaver's smiling, optimistic face.