Gather all the political opinions on social media and the following would be a sample of how Americans are sounding off:

1)    We demand Muammar Gadhaffi to stop his ruthless killing of innocent Libyans immediately. He and other tyrannical dictators in the Arab world must end their totalitarian regimes and transition to a peaceful democracy for all Arab citizens. The people have spoken, and made it clear to the world: They want government reforms. And are willing to fight for their right for freedom. We in America, cheer them on. To our Arab friends: We are ecstatic that you are changing the course of history, and we support you in your efforts… but uh, not in any real “U.S. involvement” kind of way.  So soldier on, go ahead without us; you’re doing great. Best of luck, “yes you can,” and… oh dammit, where the hell is Obama?!?

2)    Why isn’t the federal budget balanced by now? Stop kicking the can down the hill you dithering doofuses; we’re waiting to see the damages. But remember, no spending, cutting, new taxes or tax increases. Do not touch our social security, Medicaid, Medicare or any other social services that affect – namely – me!

3)    Something must be done ASAP about the rising cost of energy. But listen, no importing oil from tyrannical monarchs of the Middle East, no drilling for oil off our shores or Alaska and absolutely no more nuclear power plants even though we already have 104 operating nuclear energy plants across the country accounting for one fourth of the country’s energy use. After Japan’s disaster, additional nuclear plants are out of the question. And coal? Coalmines are also bad for the environment. We need alternative energy. In the meantime, we’ll continue to tweet and blog about how our dependency on oil, coal and nuclear energy is destroying the planet.

4)    We anticipate Health Care Reform to be better than what we have now.  When the major portion of the law finally goes into effect, it better be everything we imagine – and our imagination runs wild because we have Charlie Sheen tiger blood in us. If we are not totally satisfied when it takes effect in 2014, those who disappoint will not be reelected in 2016. If the world lasts that long.

5)    Omigaawd, what happened to our citizen’s rights? This is horrible. Yes, we know about how American citizens lost the Supreme Court Ruling, Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission, which now puts individual rights on the same level as corporate rights. And as of this writing, corporations are going back to court to try and gain even more rights. Those oinkers! Well, that’s just delightful. Since the ruling cannot be appealed, we demand that all Supreme Court Justices be tested immediately for competency and intelligence. Justices should be required to take the tests and pass, or lose their seat on the bench. We would be satisfied with this measure. This would at least allow citizens a fair chance in the future because we are confident that the justices in favor of corporations, will not pass the tests. It’s no secret who the bozos are. Case closed!

6)    And since we are on the subject of bozos not making the grade, what happened to our Education System? We are in dire need of Education Reform. But to be perfectly clear: We do not mean reforms to the curriculum by adding idiotic creationism or moronic intelligent design. This illustrates exactly why Education Reform is needed – adults have become so moronic that hours are wasted each freaking day clarifying, explaining and educating doofuses on every single subject. Just ramp up education so we won’t have to be educators on a daily basis, for chrissake!

7)    We demand jobs NOW. Not more McJobs, but careers that pay well for professionals with specialized skills. Such as journ… no, that field isn’t doing well… such as attorn… no, that field isn’t doing great, either… such as doc… no, heard they’re also hurting. Just get us steady, reliable jobs for professions that aren’t controlled by conglomerates paying peanuts or expecting freebies on the internet!

8)    We demand “Freedom of Speech” rights for Wikileaks founder, Julian Assange. It’s an outrage that he’s arrested when we haven’t yet seen the leaks on Bank of America and the other financial institutions. We want justice for what those financial freeloaders did, and Assange may have more evidence to incriminate them. Forget about Assange’s espionage and rape charges. We want those leaks!

9)    So how obvious must climate change need to be before the environment becomes priority number one? Hellooo! The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) itself needs protection against the corporate-backed republican oinkers who are trying to take away the EPA’s powers to regulate industrial wastes. Industries are polluting our land, air and waters, and although pollution is the perfect environment for oinking republicans, it is not what the rest of humanity wants to inhabit.

10) And as far as President Obama: We might approve of him today, but we will probably disapprove of him tomorrow. It so happens he’s on the disapproval side today. Come back and take our temperature next week and see how we’re feeling.

Just a slice of American internet life. Sans the latest updates of Hollywood, and media stealing wackadoos of all sorts. Now if Donald Trump comes along and promises to fulfill all of America’s dreams as president, will people buy into it? Did Charlie Sheen’s bizarro tour sell out in several cities? 

© March 24, 2011 Reiko Eoh