MAY 7, 2012 3:44PM

Enough Already. Let's Legalize the Weed.

Rate: 9 Flag

Today I'd like to begin with a couple of battle-worn bromides which capitulate my platform:

Fish or cut bait.

Speak now or forever hold your peace.

Poo or get off the porcelain (but wash your hands first, and you know who I'm talking to, dude at work).

Aren't you just a little tired of this dance?

It's time to be blunt about the blunt. Time to okay the tokay. Time to stop considering the chronic a demonic tonic.

Enough already; let's legalize marijuana.

Paving the way with other controversial issues such as same sex marriage and men's ass implants, the state of California has also blazed the trail when it comes to lawfully blazing the reefer.

But nearly sixteen years after the passage of Proposition 215 which provided California's chronically ill citizens with a means to possess or cultivate marijuana for medicinal use, our federal government has decided to issue a fatwa on the fat one.

The feds have decided to bogart licensing programs on medical pot cultivation and shut down hundreds of marijuana dispensaries throughout the state. As a result, massive quantities of the sticky icky have been harvested but can't find a market.

Thus, an entire industry is regressing to its formerly sketchy underground distribution networks, spewing stale bong water on the golden state's multi-billion-dollar  freshy fresh economy.

I live in Seattle, a city which shares California's attitude about the weed. People here don't view it as a hard, gateway drug. We've all known someone who smokes way too much of it, but they're not staying up for twelve days straight, gouging their skin to a pulp and talking to trash compactor.

Their eyes aren't yellow, their noses aren't streaked with gin blossoms and they aren't breaking into your house to steal leftover painkillers from your dachshund's ACL surgery.

Additionally, the medical marijuana permit, or "green card," is a freaking joke. Certain doctors will issue six-month prescriptions in exchange for a couple hundred bucks and a good brownie recipe. Only Starbucks can claim a numerical advantage over Seattle's ganja dispensaries, which is why Howard Schultz may want to start offering video games, burritos and staying open until one.

Why not cut to the damn chase and legalize this stuff? Assess penalties as severe as alcohol-related punishments for driving under the influence of THC, which can easily be spotted. It's the car driving twenty miles per hour and stopping at green lights.

Reroute law enforcement's resources toward curbing stuff that kills us rather than the stuff which makes us crave hot fudge sundaes and Wheat Thins with salmon-infused cream cheese.

And tax, tax, tax the hell out of a pack of legalized spliffs. After a couple of years, the federal budget shortfall will vaporize into nothing worse than a slightly different type of deficit.

What was I just talking about?

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I would vote for it in a nanosecond dear.
If only it would be on a ballot, or somewhere to say hell yes.
I agree.

'Cept it might cut into my bro-in-law's fringe herb business. Hey, he pays taxes on the zip-lock sandwich bags!
WAR ON DRUGS...created so much business for the GOP 1% that tall grass makes them itch. Great post! and yes this should be a reality if not for the white fences.
Very good article. I'm all for pot legalization. I think we could start with government control of production and distribution. With that, I think a yearly license for traceable pot purchase, taxed at the same percentage or higher as tobacco, would be beneficial to the state. But for all this to happen, we have to put law makers in place who we can make sure are for the majority of us, and NOT serving the 1%.

I guess we have to coalesce as people and get the right people in office...
"It's the car driving twenty miles per hour and stopping at green lights."

No kidding... arrest them!

Fatwa on the fat one? Oh man..

You of course make total sense but when has sense ever mattered in this retarded "land of the free?"
It'd be a nice little money spinner for the gov'ment!

[r] reflections, thanks. after researching the privatizations of prisons and how they are being used for CHEAP SLAVE LABOR incarceration of non-violent "criminals" for being involved with marijuana is necessary to keep the travesty going! it comes down to that disgusting, vile and evil profits uber alles one percenter and political puppeting mindset. Green Party Jill Stein wants to legalize marijuana and has been asserting that. Corporate big media of course won't say her name, like Rumplestiltskin but she could clean Romney or Obama's clocks in a debate asserting decency and common sense -- sanity. The escalation of evil for profiteering is stunning, the government so saturated with corruption. I watch the NewsHour and Coburn tonight was defending war and the real problem with our economy he declared is the nasty discretionary spending for people in need. And EVERYONE needs to sacrifice yadda yadda yadda, Woodruff was too polite and it would be futile to push him re the sacrifice of the rich which is so non-existent and which he will puff up and excuse! We live in a deeply spiritual dark age. Young people as cannon fodder or young people as prison slave workers. The politicians and the exploiting sociopathic one percent shameless. absolutely shameless. blaming the victim will continue. Obama won't even respect the states that have allowed medical marijuana. he put a push appointee in charge of the DEA, a real zealot. best, libby