yates

 

I was toiling away at work ten years ago yesterday when I pulled up the internet to check the news on CNN.  The breaking news headline was startling, to say the least:  "Five children drowned in Houston."  I didn't have to see any more details, because I already… Read full post »

Yes, I realize that making coffins out of cardstock is bizarre.  But not anywhere near as bizarre as Tamponcrafts.com.  I know you are going to go check that website out now.  Just be sure to come on back and read this afterwards, ya hear?  Now, on with today's lesson!  But f… Read full post »

It's right around 8 PM here in the DC Metro Area, so it's a pretty safe bet that the OS Editors are done posting their front page picks for the day.  Not one item on the front page has to do with Memorial Day.  Not one!  As a pseudo-military spouse (my… Read full post »

Hi OS-ers,

 I thought you might enjoy this article that was posted internally on my employer's (AOL) intranet.  Some of us on here write about military matters (Backsight Forethought, Bill Beck, etc) but this is my first time posting about this topic.   The father of one of my colleagu… Read full post »

Our cat has been "writing" holiday newsletters since 2007.  The tales he weaves are all true, but he is obviously not doing the actual writing because he doesn't have an opposable thumb.  I used to write the newsletters in our kids' voices, but as they got older I feared that they… Read full post »

No Child Left Behind!  Unless there's a computer outage.  Yeah, about that....

Hey, you know all those standardized tests the public school kids have to take nowadays thanks to the No Child Left Behind Act?  Here in Virginia they are called the SOLs.  I am not kidding.  15 ye… Read full post »

 

flour

 

 

Not sure why I thought of this on Mothers' Day when I have two real children that I grew myself and this incident took place 22 years ago.  But -  here it is.

 ----------------

I was a sophomore in high school in 1989.  I really couldn't stand… Read full post »

I will start out by saying that it isn't my mother who is nuts.  It's someone else's mother that I am referring to.  My mother is one of the most loving and caring women on the planet, albeit slightly overprotective at times.  But hey, if she didn't love us then she… Read full post »

Today is Take Your Sons And Daughters To Work Day, aka Child Haters Call In Sick/Telecommute Day or My Kids Had Better Shut The Hell Up During My Very Important Meeting Or I'll Kick Their Ass Day.  I fall into the latter camp, although I only had one child accompany me… Read full post »

 

mainframe

 

That's it.  I can't take it anymore.  It's time for all of you to hear the TRUTH!

 I'm an IBM mainframe ca. 1975, and that's why none of you could get on here between 2:30 and 5:00 PM EST today, or at least 50% of the other times… Read full post »

I blew out a bunch of easter eggs today to make crafts with the children.  What did you pervs think I was talking about?

 

HPIM1470

 

For the uninitiated, the "blowing out" process refers to poking small holes in each end of an egg with a sharp knife and forcing… Read full post »

bmw

 

My employer indicated that we could leave at 3 PM today, but I am still here.  I decided to use this time to participate in my very first Fiction Friday.  Achingly beautiful prose just isn't my bag, so you'll have to settle for my usual sarcastic attitude.  Also,… Read full post »

APRIL 21, 2011 5:26PM

I Caused An Argument On OS! Yay Me!

Is it possible to feel embarrassed, humbled and maybe even a tiny bit popular all at the same time, outside of Middle School?  I guess so, because that's how I feel after reading some of the feedback I received on the blog entry I posted yesterday, in which I recounted my… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
APRIL 20, 2011 9:24AM

Apple, Desk, Rainbow

 

apple desk rainbow

 

I have made a pact with myself.  It goes something like this:  If I ever, and I mean EVER, end up putting something that doesn't belong in the refrigerator into the refrigerator (and I mean a non-food item such as car keys or a magazine, not something that… Read full post »

APRIL 17, 2011 10:11PM

The Game Of Life - WTF??

 

lifegame

 

 After returning from our honeymoon almost 12 years ago, my new husband and I ventured out to Toys R Us to purchase some board games.  We got Life, a chess/checkers combo set and some other game, maybe Monopoly.  I guess we thought we were going to sit around… Read full post »

stuff 086

Cotton candy on trees!

stuff 087

The tourist's head adds an interesting juxtaposition

stuff 088

What a beautiful day to head to DC....

  stuff 089

Awesome

stuff 090

Colors and light

stuff 091

Note to self for next time:  Make sure daughter is not in front of you

 … Read full post »

The other day I was reading this article about half-day vs. full-day kindergarten in my 'hood.  Of course, the complete essence of an internet news piece cannot be fully derived without reading the accompanying feedback posted by individuals that are seemingly devoid of reading comprehension ski… Read full post »

MARCH 28, 2011 9:55PM

A Tough Pill to Swallow

The other day, I called my mother to ask her a question.  In a low voice, she said "Yia Yia isn't talking right again.  That usually means she is getting ready to have another seizure."

 Here we go again!

 Yia Yia (the Greek word for "Grandmother") is a wonderful lady.  Every… Read full post »

All right, I'm on a mission.  My Editor's Pick on OS is SO two weeks ago.  I have now raised the bar to a new level - please pardon the icky cliché that I am sure Caitlin Kelly would not appreciate.  Ms. Kelly doesn't know who I am, but that is… Read full post »

Who needs the gym when you can get buff in your own house by manually scrubbing each carpeted stair with Resolve until you feel your biceps burning? Hey, I could pay someone to do that, but I don't. My family and I live in what is… Read full post »

MARCH 13, 2011 8:53AM

I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS PREGNANT!!

... for about 20 days.  See, that's about how long it took after conception for me to notice that "Aunt Gertrude" was not showing up for her usual monthly visit, so I decided to pee on a stick to confirm my suspicions.  I had not been planning to get pregnant, but… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
MARCH 7, 2011 11:57PM

Why I Wish They Had Zoloft When I Was Twelve

Earlier this evening I read an excellent post by a mother who is unsure if putting her daughter on Zoloft is the right thing to do.  Of course, every situation is different and I have never met this woman or her daughter so I don't know what the best choice would… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 27, 2011 11:10PM

This Blog Post is About PENISES!!!!

 

OK, it's about penises in an indirect sort of way.  Hey, I have to get people to read my stuff somehow!  If I wanted to write in private, I would have an Old Skool Diary where you, like, write with your hand using a pen and stuff.  Meh.

Anyway -… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 22, 2011 4:22PM

My Parenting Epiphany

All you parents know what I mean when I say that caring for a baby, toddler or preschooler is a full-time job in and of itself. All parents work, whether they stay at home or go to an office during the day. Some parents just don't… Read full post »

I'm a New-Ish OS member who has yet to figure out how to hang with the Popular People on here.  Will you be my FRIEND???  Ha ha.  Plus, I figured this post from a couple of weeks ago dovetails nicely with the high school bullying memoirs that have gone up… Read full post »