Monday: Still no word from my top choice school. Crew season started, but I haven't signed up because I don't know where I'll be moving and how much money I'll need to save. Shitty day at work. Tired.
Tuesday: Still no word from my top choice school. Shittier day at work. Exhausted. Jaw pops/crunches and pain ensues for the next 24 hours. Ex-boyfriend with whom the realtionship ended badly messages me while I'm emailing the Guy w/ Two First Names . I haven't talked to the ex in over a year. He wants to get back together, says he thinks I would feel better about it if he could just talk things through with me. I cry.
Wednesday: There was a Wednesday? Still no word from my top choice school. Guy with Two First Names and I talk about plans for Saturday afternoon. Food truck serving Maryland seafood will be making a special appearnce at a local brewery! Fun! Went to bed at 9:30. Actually slept the whole night.
Today: Realized this morning that I'm going to have to put down my cat. The 15 lb gentle beast has wasted to at most 8 lbs and is almost done in this world. My friends have told me that I will know when it's time and this morning, I knew. I cry before leaving the house. I go to my voice lesson, talk about whether or not I should put him down with my teacher and she confirms: it's time. I cry again in my lesson. Then, I sing the hell out of two arias, thanks in large part to the need to express my sadness.
I hope that when I go home, there will be good news in the mail box. I need to know that I will be out of this job - one that I am thankful to have but intensely dislike - in the near future. Putting my cat to sleep is something that I've known was coming, but now, I don't want to do it too soon - what if it's too soon? I feel so cruel doing this to him. How could he forgive me?
As for the man situation: I'll be moving soon. I'm just going to enjoy my time with Gw/TFN and I'm not so sure I care about reconciling with the ex. I think I had already done it in my mind for the most part. However, I will have to see him when I volunteer at my local Democrat Party/OFA office as he'll be transferring to work a campaign. Whatever. I have other things to think about.