I am the Razzle and the Dazzle

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Razzle Dazzle

Razzle Dazzle
Location
Where ever I go, there I am, District of Columbia,
Birthday
January 12
Bio
Lucille Ball meets Bridget Jones, add some political salt and pepper, and that's me. I am progressive, love the arts, and got moxie! Please, don't be tacky and plagiarize.

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Salon.com
MARCH 29, 2012 2:51PM

Where's my umbrella?

Rate: 11 Flag

Monday: Still no word from my top choice school.  Crew season started, but I haven't signed up because I don't know where I'll be moving and how much money I'll need to save.  Shitty day at work.  Tired.

Tuesday: Still no word from my top choice school.  Shittier day at work.  Exhausted.  Jaw pops/crunches and pain ensues for the next 24 hours.  Ex-boyfriend with whom the realtionship ended badly messages me while I'm emailing the Guy w/ Two First Names .  I haven't talked to the ex in over a year.  He wants to get back together, says he thinks I would feel better about it if he could just talk things through with me.  I cry.

Wednesday: There was a Wednesday?  Still no word from my top choice school.  Guy with Two First Names and I talk about plans for Saturday afternoon.  Food truck serving Maryland seafood will be making a special appearnce at a local brewery! Fun!  Went to bed at 9:30.  Actually slept the whole night.

Today:  Realized this morning that I'm going to have to put down my cat.  The 15 lb gentle beast has wasted to at most 8 lbs and is almost done in this world.  My friends have told me that I will know when it's time and this morning, I knew.  I cry before leaving the house.  I go to my voice lesson, talk about whether or not I should put him down with my teacher and she confirms: it's time.  I cry again in my lesson.  Then, I sing the hell out of two arias, thanks in large part to the need to express my sadness. 

I hope that when I go home, there will be good news in the mail box.  I need to know that I will be out of this job - one that I am thankful to have but intensely dislike - in the near future.  Putting my cat to sleep is something that I've known was coming, but now, I don't want to do it too soon - what if it's too soon?  I feel so cruel doing this to him.  How could he forgive me?

As for the man situation: I'll be moving soon.  I'm just going to enjoy my time with Gw/TFN and I'm not so sure I care about reconciling with the ex.  I think I had already done it in my mind for the most part.   However, I will have to see him when I volunteer at my local Democrat Party/OFA office as he'll be transferring to work a campaign.  Whatever.  I have other things to think about.

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Comments

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so sorry about the gentle beast. hugs doll.r
g . w/2 f.n. : "under the layer of kind, proper man, a sincere, moderate, reserved man with an edge..."
i just read, in order to catch up.
Sounds like a cool bloke.
I ached for you re. the beast.
But death is a fundamentally different thing for animals
than for us overly-conscious hairless apes,
I think. They know , and somehow welcome it, i think,
as part of nature...harder for us than for them, to lose them...
closer to the source, they probably "know" more inherently
than we do about it...
yes, i really believe that..
I'm so sorry about your cat...8(

Dont write off a man who likes you. Ever.
Man, your week has completely sucked. I am so sorry about your cat. I will keep my fingers crossed for good news in the mail. Hugs to you.
Tough week so far... hope Friday is better... continue to "sing the hell" out of those arias... use everything you can.
nothing but hugs.. things have to go better..
HUGGGGGGGGGGGG
Sorry about your cat, but I hope things end on a better note this week. The thing is change, it is always in the air, isn't it? As to the ex....well, they call them that for a reason. Just a thought..
You indeed have other things to think about right now. Your impending loss of your dear pet (it does sound as if you are doing the right thing, don't question yourself ceaselessly). And your future. You will hear soon enough about it. Patience. And calm.
Good luck on the school situation. Sorry about your cat. As for the BFs...you seem to be handling....Two first names sounds very interesting...much better than two last names.
You all are awesome :) Thanks!
Sending all good wishes your way, Razzle Dazzle!

(p.s. You're not running for President anymore?!? You were my favorite candidate! :)
on behalf of all ex-lovers who didn't "end things well", can i just say: if we want to give it another go, you should probably give us a chance.