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Razzle Dazzle

Razzle Dazzle
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Where ever I go, there I am, District of Columbia,
Birthday
January 12
Bio
Lucille Ball meets Bridget Jones, add some political salt and pepper, and that's me. I am progressive, love the arts, and got moxie! Please, don't be tacky and plagiarize.

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Salon.com
MARCH 11, 2012 9:30PM

The guy with two first names. Part II.

Rate: 8 Flag

So, we met today and he's very kind, considerate, well mannered, polite, intelligent, easy going, sophisticated - basically the kind of man I've been waiting to meet.  But, I don't think we're right for each other.  I'm way too over the top for him, I curse too much, I'm too reactionary, too blah!  I come off as a ding bat and, if he hadn't told me he's in IT, I would've thought he was in the policy world. 

We spent the whole afternoon together and I really didn't want the afternoon to end.  I don't think he did, either, as he walked almost half way home with me and the route was out of his way.  He's very much a man that could easily be taken advantage of because he's so very polite and reserved, but I'm an artist and I think I will get on his nerves because I'm not as grounded as he is.  Artists or those familiar with artists will know what I mean.  We're at very different points in our lives and I think with me looking to seriously move and him looking seriously to stay here and be in a relationship, nothing will come of this.  Plus, the career that I will more than likely have is not conducive to his lifestyle.

He's going out of town this week to visit friends and we agreed it would be nice to see each other again.  It would be.  I wonder if I had met him under different circumstances, as in at a social event totally unrelated to dating or being matched up, "Would anything come of this?" even be a question?  I definitely can't be my loud obnoxious self when that part magically appears - some have referred to it as energy or called me a firecracker.  For others, I'm sure it's just annoying.  I'm not completely honest in that way with who I am when around him because I have dial it back a bit.  All I can say is, I will only know with time.  So, we'll see.

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So three paragraphs of saying he's a good guy but you're not right for him. What would you tell your best friend? I would tell mine to get to know him better. Hope things work out and you at least get a friend out of it.
Well, at least he didn't stuff you in the trunk of his car. Yet.
Larry's right.
This guy sounds like a raving lunatic.
Well, you have listed all the reasons why it won't work, as well as what a great guy he is. I am hoping you will come to us with a list of all the reasons it will work and then wait and see why it might.
I just got engaged to a man I thought was the polar opposite of me but it turns out we are of one mind in our core values and world view and our hearts bonded after only a few weeks. The rest is logistics.
rated with love
BTW: my new sweetie has two first names too.
Always liked lively intelligent smart-ass women. They keep me on my toes. Any man who doesn't appreciate that quality in a woman is either a momma's boy, a control freak or an insecure dumb ass with gender threat issues... or all of the above. Be yourself guurrlll, if he a man worth knowing he'll roll with the punches and come up with a smile on his face and laughter in his heart!!
JMac
"- basically the kind of man I've been waiting to meet."
"I'm way too over the top for him, I curse too much, I'm too reactionary, too blah! I come off as a ding bat"
Sine he's agreed to see you again :) how about you not kill the relationship as a tiny little shoot by thinking you aren't worthy
Agree with Romantic Poetess.

Also, as many have told me, things happen when you are not looking for them to happen, and/or when you are going about living your life. As you continue to pursue your music graduate work, that which may belong in that life may just show up. One never knows.
Good point, Larry... it may have been complicated by the fact that he didn't drive yesterday :)

You all are right and thanks for saying what I so often forget or am oblivious to. I think I've become to cynical for my own good. I'm just going to go with it - Keep Calm and Have a Cupcake :)
what do you mean you are blah and reactionary
and yet like to explode into scintillating weird artistic mode
at times? you are listing your faults which are NOT faults.
"I'm not completely honest in that way with who I am
when around him because I have dial it back a bit..'

Most "kind, considerate, well mannered, polite, intelligent, easy going, sophisticated " fellows don't get that way without
taming the Raging Id inside, which , in the company of
a goofy energetic gal,
can be reactivated!

Get to know the stiff. Ask him all those girly questions.
Interrogate his ass. Get the info.

Oh, and report it back to us, please!
Reserved? Polite? Actually walks with you?

First, ask him if he likes Mahler! Hell....cut him some slack and ask him if he even knows who Mahler was. Then ask him what he thinks of Long Island.

If there's a hint in the affirmative....Christ....GRAB him! Don't worry about the "artiste" in you. It goes away if you really care about him.
♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥
I left Mr. Tortured artist/mathematician standing puzzled and holding his engagement ring on a street corner in Philadelphia and married Mr. Grounded Business Guy who turned out to have a wacky side (in a nice way) after all two years later.
You are looking for reasons for it to fail. That's not the right attitude. Opposites attract. Who cares about the hurdles? Life is short. Difficult things are fun.
Having been a waiter for years during school, I got to see my fair share of first dates. Raz, you say that you are not being yourself around him, (fear of chasing him away) and what makes you think he is not doing the same. The only way to find out is to be yourself (which will give him permission to be himself) and see what happens. My guess is that you surprise each other. He probably is making a evaluation based on your "interview" self (the people pleaser we all become in a job interview or first dates), but then so are you evaluating him his interview self. Even in the midst of the interviewers engaging you both found a connection (why else did would you want it not to end and why would he go out of his way to walk you home.) Go for it and be yourself in the relationship.
RD, I remember commenting on Part 1 and then somehow missed Part 2 until now...after reading Part 3. Many positive things showing up and best of luck moving forward from this point, plus I will add this is a nice series you have running here.