I'm a classical musician in a very competative field.  I have been told that for every "Yes," I will receive 20 "Nos".  The first contract is the easiest to obtain, the second one is the most elusive.  I will have to travel and live in foreign countries soon, which is exciting, but add to all of these challenges the constant barrage of peers and superiors trying to tear me down and force me out, and it all becomes overwhelming. 

Politics, passive aggressiveness, and outright ugliness have taken somewhat of a toll on me.  I'm trying to forgive when there are no apologies and never will be any apologies. I've been fortunate that for the most part, I've been surrounded by really great, wonderful, funny people, and I've become friends with some endearing people.  It is these friendships that I anticipate will not end because they are so genuine.

But, I'm trying to find something true within myself.  That's what my instructor reminded me of: "Find something true within yourself, remain true to yourself, and ignore all of the rest of it."  

What is this truth within myself?  I've known my own tenacity and resilience for so long that I feel I need it to be named like a separate entity.  I feel I need something tangible right now.  And, for the record, mint chocolate chip ice cream is not it.  Although, that along with Bridget Jones has been helpful.