Why do we Jews drink Manischewitz on Passover?
They don’t make Kosher Tequila.
What is the significance of Matzoh?
It’s a good substitute for cardboard.
Why do we eat bitter herbs on Passover?
To celebrate the invention of mouthwash.
Why do we Jews celebrate Passover?
It gives us something to do while the Gentiles paint eggs.
Why do we eat pot roast on Passover?
It’s the only thing your mother can overcook without destroying it.
Why were the Jews angry when they left Egypt?
Pharaoh wouldn’t give back their security deposits.
Why did the Jews wander in the desert for 40 years?
None of the men would ask for directions.
What did Moses have when he came down from Mt. Sinai?
Bunions
Why is Passover night different from every other night?
The mattress discounts aren’t the same as they were on Monday.
Why do we drink wine on Passover?
Why not?
Why did frogs rain down from heaven?
They were escaping from the French.
How did Moses know how to part the sea?
He practiced in the bathtub.
Why did Moses cause locusts to cover the sun?
He lost his beach umbrella
Why do we give kids a reward if they find the hidden matzoh known as the Afikomen?
Because if there wasn’t money in it, they’d play X-box.
What do apples mixed with honey remind us of?
Heartburn
Why don’t Jews eat pork?
3000 years ago, someone had hotcakes and bacon, barfed, and blamed it on the bacon.
Why did the rivers turn red?
The color matched nicely with the Pharaoh’s favorite jacket.
TIP:
Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Steven J. Gulitti
Rachel Velamur
Jan Sand
Tricia Weight
Ralph Tingey
David McClain
Salon.com
Comments
Play tennis.
Squeeze his grapes.
This Rating is Kosher for Pesach
r
I feel quite disturbed now. Thank you.
-R-
from an agnostic I'm not sure how much that's worth, but wishing ya one all the same
"matzo remover" eiiiww, Sally!!
Have you heard about all the creative (and valuable $$$) medical uses there now are for foreskins? Oy vey! It is very valuable. Don't laugh, I'm not making this up.
See?
Have attended 106 Passovers and still didn't have all the answers.
Why are there no mattress ads above your comments?
Why not?
that about sums up the Jews...
Communion wine is also usually Mogen-David or Manischewitz, because it's dirt cheap.
Before kids make their first Communion, their teachers usually have them practice with unconsecrated bread and wine so that at the moment of truth they don't spit out Our Lord Jesus out of surprise at the god-awful taste.
Three cheers for the Obama girls.
a zissen Pesach to you, john blumenthal!
L'Chaim!
We were advised to give him a quarter or so.
Within the hour, he was yelling at people like a little old mensch: "I want a DOLLAR! A DOLLAR!"
(And what is it with all these ads above me? "Sorry to disturb u. just take u a little time"!!!! 3 times over. ... Enough already!
You are too funny sir! My, how I have missed your humor.
It's good to know that God was concerned with the color coordination of the rivers and the Pharaoh's favorite ensemble. "God is in the details." :) These days it would have all been C.G.I.
V
XOXOXO