Why do we Jews drink Manischewitz on Passover?
They don’t make Kosher Tequila.
What is the significance of Matzoh?
It’s a good substitute for cardboard.
Why do we eat bitter herbs on Passover?
To celebrate the invention of mouthwash.
Why do we Jews celebrate Passover?
It gives us something to do while the Gentiles paint eggs.
Why do we eat pot roast on Passover?
It’s the only thing your mother can overcook without destroying it.
Why were the Jews angry when they left Egypt?
Pharaoh wouldn’t give back their security deposits.
Why did the Jews wander in the desert for 40 years?
None of the men would ask for directions.
What did Moses have when he came down from Mt. Sinai?
Why is Passover night different from every other night?
The mattress discounts aren’t the same as they were on Monday.
Why do we drink wine on Passover?
Why did frogs rain down from heaven?
They were escaping from the French.
How did Moses know how to part the sea?
He practiced in the bathtub.
Why did Moses cause locusts to cover the sun?
He lost his beach umbrella
Why do we give kids a reward if they find the hidden matzoh known as the Afikomen?
Because if there wasn’t money in it, they’d play X-box.
What do apples mixed with honey remind us of?
Why don’t Jews eat pork?
3000 years ago, someone had hotcakes and bacon, barfed, and blamed it on the bacon.
Why did the rivers turn red?
The color matched nicely with the Pharaoh’s favorite jacket.