Interview with a Zombie

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Random Chick

Location: Like I live in a city, dude., California,
Birthday: June 15

Bio: I write in between paid work, cleaning the house, raising two children, maintaining a marriage, paying bills, eating, sleeping, etc. I have self-published a book of poems entitled, Stupid Poetry: The Ultimate Collection of Sublime and Ridiculous Poems. I write a weekly column for Castro Valley Patch where I ponder about life and other absurdities. I am also a recovering Starbucks addict. "Hi, My Name is Random Chick and I'm an addict." The first step. Check. Eleven to go.

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MAY 29, 2012 4:43PM

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Zombies, much like vampires, have been all the rage lately. I just happened upon one of the walking dead recently to see what’s behind this phenomenon to give all three of my readers an inside scoop.

RC: So, Mr. Zombie why do you think zombies have gotten so popular recently?

Z: Urrrhhhggg.

RC: Yea, I think people were getting sick of vampires. I mean, you can only suck so much, right? Pun intended! Ha ha ha!

Z: Mmmpphhhrrrg!

RC: Okay, I know you guys are all part of the same labor union so I’ll go easy on the vampires. Geez! You guys got your start back in 1936 with Revolt of the Zombies. For a while there was a lull in zombie entertainment until The Night of the Living Dead in 1968. Work seems to really have picked up since then. What do you do when you aren’t working?

Z: ARRRGGGHHH!

RC: That’s just gross. But who am I to judge the undead? The big thing now is literary works being made into movies…like, Twilight *snort* The first time we saw zombies in popular literature is with Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. I’m sure there’s a movie in the works and a 3D kids cartoon series. Why do you think zombies are good for literature?

Z: Bbbbbllluuurrgg.

RC: I had no idea zombies were so intellectual. You really are shedding light into the zombie mentality. OOPS! Sorry I stepped on your leg and it fell off. Here. *hands rottling limb back to Mr. Zombie* We all want to know: what was it like working with Micheal Jackson?

Z: Meh.

RC: Really? I would have thought he’d be more collaborative but I guess anyone can be a diva. Are you seeing anyone special right now?

Z: GEEEEZZIIIITTTZZ! *licks RC’s face*

RC: I’m quite flattered really but I think you need a mint. Altoid? Call my agent. I hear you are being courted by the people who produce Dancing with the Stars. What do you think? Will we soon see Mr. Zombie doing the Monster Mash on TV?

Z: MMMMMMMmmmmmm.

RC: Oh c’mon! Don’t leave us hanging! I bet you could do way better than Nancy Grace!

Z: Hhhhhhaaarumph. *takes a bite out of RC’s neck*

RC: AHHHHHH! Urrrhhhggg.