JUNE 30, 2009 10:58PM

College is for Sissies

Well, it was inevitable, I suppose.  Number One has finally flown the coop.  Can't say that I miss her just yet, mainly because it seems that she has been gone since the day she graduated from high school, hardly coming home long enough to shower and change before she was off again,… Read full post »

JUNE 18, 2009 12:09PM

I'm Sorry, OS, I Cheated

I admit it, OKAY?!  I mean, really, what did you expect?  With all the doom and gloom posts about fuck the Republicans and death to corporate America and this country is going to hell, blah, blah, blah.  You were bringing me down.  I needed an escape.  So I went to Facebook.&Read full post »

Yes, I go to the gym.  But not to work out.  What, are you kidding me?  Why would I want to do that?  So why do I go?  You know, I'm not really sure.  I think that was the day that my stars were just so aligned in the perfect combination… Read full post »

MAY 5, 2009 12:09PM

So I Went Hiking the Other Day...

A few weeks ago there were some feel good posts about nature, fronds, and shrooms, and it made me a little jealous.  Actually, it made me feel sorry for myself.  I have lived in some beautiful places in the past (Washington State, Monterey, Colorado Springs) but since moving to Florida I/… Read full post »

APRIL 30, 2009 8:11AM

Dirty Haiku Thursday - Yummy!

 

chocolate body pain 

Paint me, a Portrait

Living canvas, lickable

Sticky sweet surprise

        chocolategirl  Read full post »

I should have seen this coming.  I should have known it was inevitable.  Maybe I was naïve.  Maybe I just didn’t want to see it.  But now, I have no choice.  They all must die.

 

It started about a year ago.  I saw the weeds growing in the yard.  But/… Read full post »

APRIL 23, 2009 10:38PM

No THIS is Torture

All this talk about torture has really been irritating me.  Sure I could put in my two cents, but that would just be more irritating.  Besides, I don't know what the big deal is.  I waterboard myself every time I try to go waterskiing so I don't know what everyone is… Read full post »

APRIL 19, 2009 10:21PM

My Kid, Free Slave Labor

So Number Two came home the other day with yet another field trip permission slip.  I sigh and put it on the microwave with the rest of the bills, junk mail and miscellaneous papers that I don't want to bother with.  I know from experience that these things don't have to… Read full post »

APRIL 16, 2009 9:05PM

Nothing Says It Like "Boom Boom Pow"

I like all kinds of music.  I am a closet Dead Head (because the closet is the only place that my family will allow me to listen to the Grateful Dead), I love the Eagles and Credence Clearwater Revival because they remind me of my dearly departed dad, classical music is… Read full post »

APRIL 13, 2009 11:02PM

Because of Winn Dixie

The Winn Dixie down the street recently underwent a major upgrade.  I don't know if it has to do with the whole bankruptcy thing or if it is just this particular store which has a personal vendetta against me, but it has completely ruined my life.  Or, at least, my culinary… Read full post »

APRIL 11, 2009 11:00PM

Oldie But Goodie

It is Easter Eve and I am watching The Ten Commandments yet again, as I have every year since I was a kid.  I was a little torn this year because the Sound of Music was on at the same time, but I saw Sandra Stephen's post about the Sound of… Read full post »

APRIL 11, 2009 12:18PM

A Retraction

Well surprise surprise.  X drunk dialed me last night and assured me, among other things, that he would not have our girls spend the night at Slutbitchcuntwhore's house.  And for the record, I am a good Catholic girl and would never use such awful language as that, but it's not my faul… Read full post »

APRIL 10, 2009 11:51AM

I Really Don't Want To Go To Jail

I've been giving it some thought, and I really don't think prison would be good for me.  It wouldn't fit my lifestyle, you know what I mean?  But it seems that it may be inevitable, because I think I might murder X sometime in the near future. 

I thought the whole divorce… Read full post »

APRIL 9, 2009 2:01PM

Walt Disney Can Bite The Cap'n

Okay, I didn't really get Captain Parrotdead's permission to use his name in vain, but since he is the champion of the poor and downtrodden, the homless and voiceless, and welfare mothers, I figured he wouldn't mind.  Besides, I didn't want to be a hack and steal his "Bite Me" line. … Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
APRIL 8, 2009 2:09PM

A Fine Day At The Playground

Another benefit to being unemployed, in addition to not getting a paycheck and losing health insurance, is that now I have a lot of free time to volunteer at the kids' school.  I'm well beyond my mandatory 20 hours but #3 keeps telling her teacher that I'm coming and dammit, I'm… Read full post »

APRIL 6, 2009 1:10PM

The Sandlot, 2009

My twelve-year old daughter apparently likes the movie, The Sandlot, a lot.  It was on more than once this weekend and so she watched it, more than once.  I shouldn’t complain, it’s better than last weekend which was the High School Musical marathon at our house.  Then, coi/… Read full post »

To this day I do not know why I decided to go to law school.  I was working in payroll, and although working with numbers makes me a little loopy, I was good at it and I liked the people I worked with.  Then I just quit and went to law… Read full post »

I read Dr. Amy’s post on questioning the logic of “diverting” valuable funds from the young and innocent to care for the old and…what…non-innocent?  The lack of health care and even such basic needs as food and shelter for impoverished children in a country that i/… Read full post »

APRIL 1, 2009 9:09AM

My Mid-Life Crisis, Day Five

Aw, Hell!  I can't take this anymore.  My house is a disaster, I missed the deadline for filing my business taxes (God I hope no one from the IRS is on OS), I have six hours to create a 60 minute PowerPoint presentation (on Fair Lending, of all things!) and it… Read full post »

MARCH 31, 2009 9:21AM

My Mid-Life Crisis - Day Four

You are standing in the door.  Your senses are completely overwhelmed to the point of distraction.  In a daze you look down to see your booted foot, toes hanging out over the threshold, beneath which lies nothing but 1500 feet of air.  You can see trees and cars and houses, but/… Read full post »

MARCH 30, 2009 11:08PM

OKAY, I GOTTA SAY WHAT THE F*CK?!

I used to have terrible language.  And by that I mean that every other word I said was fuck, shit, or goddammit.  Not once sentence would leave my mouth without one of those words in it.  I could blame it on the Army, but I swore a lot before I ever/… Read full post »

MARCH 30, 2009 9:02AM

My Mid-Life Crisis, Day Three

 

Or perhaps this should be titled “My New Hobby – Burning Food”.  Usually it is just toast.  My toaster isn’t ancient, but it is cheap, and even when it was new the light/medium/charcoal setting never really worked very well.  Come to think of it, I have… Read full post »

This just in from CNN, vasectomies are on the rise, and have been since about November.  Mmhmm.  Right about the time the economy really took a nosedive.  Interesting.  Just one more confirmation that it really is all about the Benjamins.  It wasn’t family values, and i/… Read full post »

MARCH 29, 2009 11:54AM

My Mid-Life Crisis, Day Two

I’ve been feeling a bit like Job lately.  Not because I have been sitting around in sackcloth and ashes bemoaning my situation, but because my beloved friends have suddenly felt the need to provide me with caring, helpful, and unsolicited advice.  The consensus is that I need to &ldqu/… Read full post »

MARCH 28, 2009 12:54PM

AIG, PART DEUX

          There is this letter going around the internet from a disgruntled AIG executive who has decided to quit his job because of the whole bonus debacle.  (See the link at the bottom of this post.)  Not because he was morally opposed to the p/… Read full post »