This is a heads-up to all the women who haven't experienced it yet, and an explanation to all of my friends and family who have and will. Most of you must have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were stolen while he was passed out in a hotel room. In a bathtub- filled with ice cubes I think.... Well luckily while that kidney story was an urban legend, this one is not.! It's happening every day to millions of women all over the world!! And I think being forewarned is being forearmed.

It took me by shock when my thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. Just like that!! It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my own body one night and woke up with someone else's thighs the next morning! ! . The new ones had the texture of large curd cottage cheese. Gaaaaaaahhh !!!! Who could've done such a cruel thing to legs that have been mine for years? Whose thighs were those and what happened to mine? Even dear hubbs has no idea.

I spent the entire winter looking for my thighs. Finally, angry and clueless, I resigned myself to living out the rest of my life in stretch jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose.

Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again. This time their aim was my butt and I know it was the same gang, because they really tried to match my rear end. Mind you - they messed up and attached the new one at least four inches lower than my original, to the thighs they stuck me with earlier. So now my rear complements my legs. Lump for lump. Frenzied, I prayed that maxi skirts would return to stay in fashion. Ya think my prayers would be heard? Hah!

Next month it'll be two years since I realized my arms had been switched too.!!! One morning I was brushing my hair when I watched in horror but was mesmerized just the same as the flesh of my upper arms swung back. .and.forth - back.and.forth - with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary. !!!

My body has been replaced one section at a time. How clever and fiendish!

AGE?

Age has nothing to do with it.! Age is supposed to creep up. Unnoticed. Something like maturity. NO.! I have been attacked repeatedly. And without warning. Miserable and hopeless, I gave up my T-shirts.

What could they do to me next?!!?

My poor neck disappeared faster than the Thanksgiving turkey it resembles now. That's why I decided to tell my story because I can't take on the medical profession by myself.

Women of the world? Wake up and smell the brew!!!!

It isn't really plastic that those plastic surgeons are using. You KNOW where they are getting those replacement parts, don't you?? Next time you suspect someone has had a face lifted, look up close. Was it lifted from you? I think I finally found my thighs..... and I hope that Cindy Crawford paid a really good price for them! !!

This is not a hoax.! This is happening to women in every town, every country, every night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS. !!!!!

P.S. I admit last year I was sure someone had stolen my breasts. I was lying in bed (hubbs snoring as usual,dead to the world) and they were gone! I jumped out of bed , and phew! I was ever so relieved to see that they had been just hiding in my armpits while I slept.

Now I don't take any chances. I keep them hidden in my waistband.

Good luck and watch your backs,
Ollie.
xox