I didn’t say what I now regret omitting.
I didn’t speak of how much I’d miss you,
How much you meant to me,
How my life has been enriched by your presence.
I never thanked you
For working long hours to provide for us,
For forgiving my many mistakes,
For overlooking my numerous foibles.
I didn’t hug you tightly
For fear of hurting you,
For fear of hurting me,
For fear of accepting your prognosis.
I never wanted to admit you were dying
To you, to me, to Mom, to Gramma
I loved you too much to let you go
But you left us all, even left yourself.
You left me to tell everyone that you were gone
You left me to tell Gramma that you had died
“My muffin,” she sobbed
And was never the same again.
None of us will ever be the same again.
Daddy, I love you; I miss you. But I think you knew that already.