She lurks in the shadows of my psyche, impatiently waiting for the optimum moment to possess me fully, for that perfect storm of  family stress on top of an aching head on top of sleep-deprived nights. She likes the last half of my menstrual cycle, when my estrogen level plummets and… Read full post »

In the beginning, there was chaos. Chaos was darkness, the waters of the abyss. The first god, Amun, arose from the waters using nothing but his own strength to give form to his body. Amun existed alone. All was his. Yesterday and tomorrow were his. Alone, he took his penis in… Read full post »

First, my confession: I read a lot of smut. This five-year-old proclivity could be a symptom of mid-life crisis, a needed fantasy to replace what my life lacks, or a newly found disregard over what a lady such as I am supposed to read. Only The Shadow knows. But, since the… Read full post »

Let’s start with the “No”s:

• No hoodies or drawstrings (because both are handy self-hanging equipment).
• No multiple tampons (one at a time, please; theoretically, one could string them together for the
… Read full post »

Four years until I’m at the age Daddy was when he died, he was 52 and, in another month, I’ll be 48. This weighs heavily on me, more than it should. My inner self-loathing gets the better of me and I think of all the success he had, all the success… Read full post »

Pie Week!

Just like Shark Week but sweeter!

Eons and eons ago, when I was but a mere teenager, I spent a summer working at The Greenbrier Resort in White Sulphur Springs, West Virginia. I was there to play nanny to a young baby, the son of the hotel manager,/… Read full post »

I have begun a new blog via Blogger, ChannelingHelen.com, dealing with all things epicurean and intoxicating. I will import here and continue to enjoy and reply to comments received. I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for reading! 

The year was 1985 and my then boyfriend/now husband and I travel… Read full post »

Don’t tell my children this. But. There are times. When I wish (shhhh). That I hadn’t had any kids (quiet, I tell you).

Let me clarify.

Just now, case in point, I just sat down to write and the Child of Five asked me… Read full post »

He liked to make her laugh by mimicking the wind on his dashboard as he drove her home. Laugh,… Read full post »

I dream of driving with no clear destination in mind. East, I’ve decided, toward my tenuous meandering roots; I shall head east. Wrong age and wrong sex to go the other way, after all. I’ve been sick again, sick enough for the walls to close in on me, sick enough for… Read full post »

I didn’t say what I now regret omitting.

I didn’t speak of how much I’d miss you,

How much you meant to me,

How my life has been enriched by your presence.

I never thanked you

For working long… Read full post »

I know it sounds trite; but my father was my hero.  Unlike anyone else in this world, he had the innate ability to make me feel better when I was lower than down, and the gift of inspiring hope and ambition in just about anyone who knew him. 

 … Read full post »

That is the question
Whether 'tis simpler for the gut to suffer
The preservatives of microwaved Stouffers,
Or to take whisks against a saucepan of butter and flour
 And, by gyrating, mix them. To warm, to heat… Read full post »

Please bear with me while I take a short pause before returning to lessons in backyard chicken husbandry. I had a strange weekend and don’t feel like being all farmingly educational at the moment. I promise I’ll return for your last lesson shortly.

 … Read full post »

Preparing for Those Fuzzy Bundles of Peepitude

When last we kibbutzed, we had set up the accommodations for mature hens to live and love in your backyard and, in return, provide you with fresh eggs, velvety, tasty, colorful, pert-like-teenage-breasts fresh egg… Read full post »