If the unexamined life is not worth living, why the hell are we all here? Indulge me in a little lunchtime philosophy.
CocoPuffs have been outlawed in Iceland. It seems the US made version causes obesity. Obamacare has snaked it's icy clutches into the great north. So now, inorder to save this great country, this Island, we must be vigilant in this war on CocoPuffs.
Better reopen the base at Keflavik, and start up the draft. We are under attack by invading breakfast food. Start the search! Let loose the dogs of war!
How do I know this? I am the ring leader, I am coocoo for CocoPuffs. It all started as a way to get my hyperlittle self to behave and stop setting off fire alarms in auntie and uncles fancy NYC apartment. Operant conditioning. Less sedating than the cough syrup my moder kept pouring down my throat and more fun to roll down those ramps at the Gugenheim.
Now, back to the issue at hand, Comrad Obama. You have your own country to screw with. Ours is messed up enough with Icesave, Landisbanki, all those corrupt politicos we throw rotten yogurt at. We have VAT and crappy tv reception. Our fishing industry is not what is used to be, but hey, we've got volcanoes and jeep tours. And very few fat people. We live a long time too, usually still working, not taking up space in a chair all day.
Now, here is a secret....pay attention, I am only going to tell you once. Americans eat too much. That's why they are fat. No one needs to eat enough food for three or four people to make it to dinner time. A drink of cola does not involve 1000cc of fluid. As for me, I am going to have a cereal bowl of CocoPuffs and go for a walk. Not a serving bowl, or a pasta bowl.
Not a supersized platter that looks like it could hold a side of beef.
Or a hubcap from one of those 1950s cars.
This has been a message from the Ministry of Stupidity.
Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.