just phyllis

just phyllis
Location
Small Town, Indiana, USA
Birthday
November 13
Bio
Blogging with PTSD --------------- "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." - Leo Buscaglia _____________________________________ All works ┬ęPhyllis45, the author of this blog. _____________________________________ Also posting at Our Salon http://oursalon.ning.com/ http://oursalon.ning.com/profile/Phyllis

MY RECENT POSTS

JUNE 23, 2013 6:16PM

Strangely silent

I can't talk

Speech is beyond me

Things I want to say

But I can't find the courage

Would anyone care

If I do say what I want

Setting myself up

Letting go of control

Wanting to, needing to

Not being able to

Not knowing if they care

Making dreams out… Read full post »

What is this life
How do we wend
When the bogey man
Is around every bend?

How do we go on
When we are scared half to death
What do we do
When gasping for breath?

I, too, am afraid
Of what, who knows?
Life is just scary
And so on it goes.

But why do you fear me?
I don't… Read full post »

JUNE 14, 2013 4:17AM

Anger and PTSD

Live love slander loss libel good evil spite

Two things have come to my attention this week, from two independent sources. The first is that I tend to grumble a lot, and the second is that you have to be careful whom you talk to because no conversation is… Read full post »

JUNE 8, 2013 8:51PM

Flower Power

Today turned out to be a lazy day. I woke up energetic, went into town to get a haircut and some cat food; PetSmart had 15% off today so I bought extra and I bought a 42 pound package of cat litter for $15.49 - 15%. I then got some… Read full post »

JUNE 6, 2013 12:32PM

Joyous Abandon

Oh, to be filled
with joyous abandon
to be young and be lithe and be gay

Oh, just to feel
this joyous abandon
to be bright in the month of May

I want to be
that joyous abandon
to run and to shout and to play

Oh let me live
in joyous abandon
to the end of my final… Read full post »

JUNE 3, 2013 8:42PM

The Past Eleven Days

The past eleven days have been enlightening. You may remember that it was a Thursday night eleven days ago that my older sister called to tell me that she had to move into my house and the narrow escape I had; she didn't move in. I finally got a text from… Read full post »

JUNE 1, 2013 11:18AM

On the Rebound

Being self aware is something that is not for the faint of heart, especially when you have emotional issues to deal with. I make no claims to being self aware, but I am becoming more so, I hope.

Some of you may have read my posts about having to delve into… Read full post »

The next word is tragedy. So what, once you experience tragedy you're no longer young?

Maybe it's the acceptance of the tragedy that ages you. I know I feel older every time I have a PTSD episode, be it a flashback or the hell I just went through for the past… Read full post »

MAY 29, 2013 12:34PM

Sharing My Lunch!

Today, I am in a good mood. It hit yesterday as I was leaving work and is still upon me. The headache still lingers, I am sitting in the sun as I type because I chose the wrong seat (I'm going to move now) (safely moved), and I am fully edematized… Read full post »

MAY 27, 2013 12:07PM

For Memorial Day

This was just shared on my Facebook page, and it feels right for today. Kaziah Hancock, who paints portraits of fallen military personnel.

 
The video is a few years old, but it feels timeless. I wish we could quit sending her people to paint.
 
 
MAY 24, 2013 7:16AM

The Phone Call From Hell

Joyous news!!!! She's not moving in!!!! Dad got through to her and she did something smart for a change. Thanks to all the good spirits who intervened and saved my poor head from exploding. 

I got a phone call from my sister last night- she has blown an opportunity to get… Read full post »

MAY 19, 2013 2:59PM

The Epitome of Fearless

I went out into my yard today to plant and pick up mowed grass and pull weeds, enjoying the sun and the music from my Walkman and being peaceful. I dug up the spot for my cabbages and brussels sprouts, tilled it, raked it, and began planting. I stood up after… Read full post »

MAY 18, 2013 6:08AM

Weird Dreams and Dizzy Spells

Another experiment in pharmacology seems to have failed for me. What is it about my physiology that doesn't allow me to live inside of an FDA approved bottle of chemicals?

This post won’t be a lesson in physiology as I really don’t know enough on the topic to expound and… Read full post »

MAY 14, 2013 3:05AM

2 in the morning

What are we doing
     at 2 in the morning
That compells us to lie here
     awake and alone

This magical hour
     of 2 in the morning
It catches us wanting
     to not be alone

Asleep then awake here
     a/… Read full post »

A copy of

The Constitution of the United States of America,

graciously provided by the American Civil Liberties Union.

 

1
Wally is standing guard...

 

Throwing the Constitution out of the window...

 

2
Wally is watching...

 

It would probably work… Read full post »

Saturday, I mowed and worked in the garden and admired my plants. Here are a few pics for you. I put the descriptions at the top this time.

The salad in pots. I have it screen covered so the squirrels don't dig it up. They do hide nuts in the pots… Read full post »

MAY 3, 2013 1:04PM

Hiding in Plain Sight

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Phyllis. She was a nice girl, a fun girl who only wanted to live her life by having a successful career and getting married and having a wonderful family. Along the way she partied quite a bit and had fun, until one… Read full post »

Hi,

 What happens when you click this link then click to read the post there?

 http://open.salon.com/blog/tellingtosca

For me, it sends me to my blog page. What does it mean when it does that? I would like to read the post.

Be sure to try to open the post. I can get… Read full post »

APRIL 26, 2013 5:19AM

Rape in the Military

This is going to be a short one. This public service announcement is needed because too many people are buying into the fallacy that you have to report rape in your chain of command. Why do I know it's a fallacy? Because I skipped the chain of command, and the two… Read full post »

APRIL 21, 2013 7:41PM

How Do I Explain It?

I have been looking at the title of David McClain's latest post, A Day Spent in the Past, and it took me a while to finally get over there and read it. I have been trying to write something for a few weeks, and I just can't bring myself to do it. Since… Read full post »

APRIL 20, 2013 6:19AM

It's Time

I am going to clean out my house. It's time to get rid of crap and find some space for myself.

I am going to write what it's like to be me. I need to do it for my disability re-evaluation and I hate the having to do it. I… Read full post »

APRIL 6, 2013 7:04PM

Back in the Garden

Hi! It's spring again, and time to garden. Here is my first foray into planting to feed myself. Get ready for lots more...

 

daffodils
 

 

  Read full post »

MARCH 29, 2013 11:54PM

An Ode to Sleep

S is for the snores you send to save me
L means only that it's getting late
E is for the enervating drive home
E is for the end that looks so great
P is for the Puff who purrs so sweetly
Y is for the yawn that makes me quake

Put them all together they… Read full post »

I have to say this was more inspired by the challenge than actually following the rules of the challenge. 

What is a life

When you are so full of strife

That you can't breathe without pain

It's just all been in vain 

The darkness creeps in

You don't know where you've… Read full post »

MARCH 21, 2013 6:09PM

Feeling Better Now

I want to thank all of you who visited my rant from yesterday. Thank you for hearing me and leaving such great comments for me to read. I also want to thank the persons who rated and didn't comment. Silent support like that feels like a hug.

I called the VA… Read full post »