just phyllis

just phyllis
Small Town, Indiana, USA
November 13
Blogging with PTSD --------------- "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." - Leo Buscaglia _____________________________________ All works ┬ęPhyllis45, the author of this blog. _____________________________________ Also posting at Our Salon http://oursalon.ning.com/ http://oursalon.ning.com/profile/Phyllis


APRIL 3, 2014 12:59PM


I have been going through another period of time when I am feeling choked up about writing. Don’t get too close, don’t share too much, no one cares anyway, I’m going to be all alone soon. I’m not looking forward to that, by the way. Puff’s attitude is still excellent butRead full post »

APRIL 1, 2014 12:33PM

My First Mini Saga

Title:  A crazy day in the life when things aren’t quite what you believe they are



Sam was having a bad day, an acorn fell on her head. She ran to hide, fell down, broke a nail, and cried. Hiding was useless, the sky wasn’t falling, the hen wasRead full post »

MARCH 28, 2014 12:25PM


Wow, where to start. I need to get this out of my head because I’m getting depressed, and I am so tired of being stuck in this fucking depressed state of mind.

Last week I was on vacation. I didn’t take a trip, I stayed home and had some tree workRead full post »

MARCH 22, 2014 8:05AM

A Tree is Dead, Long Live a Tree!

 March 17, St. Patrick's Day, was the day of the tree guys. It's taken me a while to write this because while I love what they did to the trees, they ended the day by destroying my driveway. I'm working on a plan to get it fixed without spending tons of… Read full post »

MARCH 19, 2014 5:18AM

Think Feel Imagine


think feel imagine


I found an image on Facebook this morning, insomnia again, that had this saying on it. I Googled, and it is a common saying, author unknown, so I made my own image of it to post here.

I have spent pretty much all of myRead full post »

MARCH 15, 2014 1:20PM

A Quote from e.e. cummings

“To be nobody but
yourself in a world
which is doing its best day and night to make you like
everybody else means to fight the hardest battle
which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.”

~ e. e. cummings

Read full post »
MARCH 12, 2014 7:55AM

Taking the Long Way

My friends from high school

Married their high school boyfriends

Moved into houses

In the same zipcodes where their parents live

But I, I could never follow

No I, I could never follow

I hit the highway

In a pink RV with stars on the ceiling

Lived like a gypsyRead full post »

MARCH 9, 2014 4:07PM

Fairy Godpeople

“To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar” is probably one of the most remembered movie lines in my history. I saw the movie today, which happens to have that line as the title, and this may be the first time that I actually watched it. No, forget “may be”, itRead full post »

MARCH 5, 2014 7:10PM

An Ode for Spring

 Spring! She cried out

A plea to the night

Spring! came the cry

So loud and so bright

A glimmer of sun

A white cloud in the sky

A bird passes over

As it soars up to fly

Where are you, Spring

We need you, you see

The winter has lingeredRead full post »

Yesterday, I got angry. I mean really, flaming, angry. One might even say that I was royally pissed. Yesterday was my reevaluation.

I started the day hopeful yet stressed. I blogged last summer what it was like to apply for this reevaluation and I had the stress and physical pain revisitRead full post »

MARCH 1, 2014 10:40AM


The birds are chirping again, spring is here even if the weather refuses to cooperate, I am sitting on my bed with the window open listening to them. The thermometer said 32 degrees, but after the previous week of subzero wind chills, 32 degrees is quite balmy. It’s all perspective.Read full post »

FEBRUARY 22, 2014 4:46PM

An Integrous Blog

From the Urban Dictionary:


full of integrity; integrity

The next lesson in Beyond Surviving is about Integrity and Boundaries, and how people who have been abused can have trouble being honest. It's not to say that they are lying scoundrels, but that you get used to lying to

Read full post »
FEBRUARY 15, 2014 4:22AM

Skulduggery- written on a tombstone

The setting: A churchyard cemetery. The church is a massive red brick edifice, about a hundred and fifty years old with concrete steps reaching higher than my head. We didn’t pay attention to the church, though, that isn’t why we are there. I wanted to spend time with her, my mother,Read full post »

FEBRUARY 9, 2014 4:16PM

Feeling Better, and Thanks

In case anyone wonders, I'm feeling better today.

I have to replace my garage door opener, it won't go on the track and I can't find any physical obstructions, so I am going to invest in one that I can check online. I have a bit of OCD over wondering… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 8, 2014 7:37AM

I Quit, I Don't Care- a poem

Life is a puzzle

We must learn to succeed

By thought, hope and action

By word, yes, and deed.


Life is a game

That is rigged from the start

No oneRead full post »

FEBRUARY 7, 2014 12:51PM

Riding the Bottom of the Sine Wave

Another day, another space of time spent stressed and headachy and out of sorts. What the hell am I supposed to do?

Turn things around, turn things around, turn things around. I want to change things, I want to be happy, I want to explore something besides the inside of myRead full post »

FEBRUARY 5, 2014 8:57AM

Finding Bliss

I have a friend, not a best friend but I've known her for years, who has been a restless wanderer. She is excruciatingly smart, a dedicated worker when she has a goal to reach, a vegetarian, an avid hiker and rock climber, but restless.

Last spring she decided toRead full post »

FEBRUARY 5, 2014 7:41AM

Perspective- repost

I wrote a beautiful post the other day about changing my perspective. It was full of descriptive narrative and heartfelt emotions, but it was a bit fake as it was repetitious of previous posts. Fate intervened and the post disappeared into the ether, allowing me to start over… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 1, 2014 8:24PM

Perspective- updated

Hello! A few posts back I commented that I would be exploring new options for posting and I have decided to try Medium for my first venture. It helps to know that there are already several persons from Open Salon that post there, I don't know who all of them are but I know that… Read full post »

JANUARY 29, 2014 7:59PM

New Moon Super Moon

January 2014 has been the month of letting go, according to astrology. It began with a new moon in Capricorn, a Super Moon, on January 1 at 6:15 a.m. “The New Moon in Capricorn’s themes are letting go and paving the way for rebirth and aligning with quality and integrity…&rdqRead full post »
JANUARY 25, 2014 8:52PM

Three Strikes

The longer I live, the more weird life gets. First there was childhood where we accept what is because we don’t have the experience to know better. Then there’s young adulthood where we have experiences outside of the nuclear family and we develop the mindset we will live with. Then weRead full post »

JANUARY 22, 2014 7:58PM

I Am Pissed

I am just fucking angry. People shooting, people dying, people who were hiding in their locked rooms telling me that trying to get students to safety was wrong, other people saying a room should have been locked when no one who had the key could be found to lock it, some… Read full post »

JANUARY 19, 2014 7:39AM

The Child in Me - A Poem

I keep on seeing

My mother in me

I don't want to see 

My mother in me

I just want to be

I want to be me

So how do I purge

My mother from me


Where’s Phyllis in thisRead full post »

JANUARY 16, 2014 5:43PM

I Need a Break (Down)

I realized yesterday that I do not have space in my life for mental health. Maybe on Saturday if I don't have to drive into town for a haircut or to buy cat food, but all of Saturday's work is undone on Sunday when I have to burn through laundry andRead full post »

JANUARY 11, 2014 8:49AM

Thinking about Death

I've been thinking about death a lot lately. I do, as a rule, anyway; I ponder how someone can be alive, and then they're not. How the brain is firing electrical signals to the body, and then it's not. And how so many people on my Dad's side of the treeRead full post »