just phyllis

just phyllis
Small Town, Indiana, USA
November 13
Blogging with PTSD --------------- "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." - Leo Buscaglia _____________________________________ All works ┬ęPhyllis45, the author of this blog. _____________________________________ Also posting at Our Salon http://oursalon.ning.com/ http://oursalon.ning.com/profile/Phyllis


APRIL 20, 2012 8:31PM

Getting Busted- OS Weekend Fiction

Rate: 14 Flag


This week's prompt: Write a story centered around something that opens. This is what came forth...




 Steve snapped the camera, then slammed on the gas and sped away. This was just too weird. What in the heck was going on over there?

No one in town talked about it, but everyone knew about the trucks. Big trucks with canvas on the top that could open and close instead of a hard roof. They came and went at all hours while the town turned a blind eye. Cars pulled in once in a while, never staying long, the people making dark shapes in the glow of the headlights.

 Steve's scooter wasn't very fast, but it could dart pretty good. He cut through Mrs. Mary's yard, just missing her prize rose bush. She saw him through the window that could open and close, and yelled out at him as he sped away. He was startled and wobbled a bit, but managed to recover without losing speed. 

He finally made it to the clubhouse, which was really just a shed with a big door on the front that could open and close. It was on a foreclosed property so no one really cared that the kids used it. At least they took care of the place, right?

Steve opened and closed the big door as he entered the shed. They never left it open; it would have messed with the indoor air quality. Tara's Dad did heating and air conditioning work and she had scored a geothermal air handler for the building. They needed it for what they kept in there.

The first thing anyone did upon entering was to punch in a security code in the third keypad to the left of the door. This keypad controlled a trap door that opened and closed. If you didn't punch the code, the door flew open and Bumbles the honey badger came roaring out. Bumbles wore a collar for an electric fence so she never left the building, but she was a great deterrent for trespassers inside. They lured her back into her pen with her friend, Petal, the Juliana Pig. Yes, it was an odd pairing but they were orphaned and grew up together so neither one was really sure which was which, but it worked for them. Their pen led to an enclosure at the back of the shed that had extended walls to surround a plot of gound. From the outside, you couldn't tell it was there, and the roof opened and closed on noiseless hinges to provide fresh air when Bumbles and Petal were using the space.

Steve went straight to the back wall of the shed. Tara was already there, posting her shots taken from the other side of the drive. The angle was pretty much the same as Steve's which meant duplication of efforts, but going around the property was a good way to disappear. No one knew where you went, but there was a building door that opened and closed whenever someone went missing.

Suddenly, there was a furious pounding on the shed door! Steve and Tara looked up, guilty looks crossing their faces.

The door flew open- the inside of the shed revealed to the world. No Bumbles, no Petal, just two kids tacking Polaroids to a wall. 

Steve's Mom looked in, a disgusted look on her face.

"How many times do I gotta tell you kids, quit taking pictures of your Dad's trucks and stay outta Mrs. Mary's yard! Now, get your danged butts out here and put these toys away!"

Steve and Tara, chagrined, came out of the shed and pedaled their trikes into the garage to put them away, Tara headed for home. Yeah, they called them scooters, but isn't that just another name for a trike? The doors closed behind them.

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I always knew Mrs. Mary was a narc!
There's a Mrs. Mary in every town!
here dear gal is what makes perfect damn sense:
"the inside of the shed revealed to the world...a disgusted look on her face."

whereever i go, that woman who strands me in
the purgatory of Shame is with me.

Shame colonizes.
The parents, then the dead parents, and all the partners who
meant anything, too...

(i have found it to be a good sleep aid, ha, tho..curl in an immobile ball, yl wake up refreshed.............)
There's an awful lot of opening & closing going on here, if you ask me.
I think Tara's dad did a little more than air-conditioning & heating too, I'm thinking.
I don't know what he did to Mrs Mary, but I'd be looking in the honey-badger's litter tray for starters.
It's probably just my sordid background, but I thought for sure they had a meth lab in there.
I bet Steve's dad works for Joseph Kony. He's stealing children and shipping them to Uganda to fight and be sex slaves. Steve and Tara better be careful because when there's no kids left, they turn to beloved pets and that means Bumbles and Petal are next.
You had me going down the same garden path as Nana only in the other direction. I was sure the trucks were transporting guns.

Are these brilliant kids going to escalate the conflict with Mrs. Mary?

Fun read. If the kids were teens, this would make a book Imp 2 would enjoy.
Aw, James, I'm sorry for the flashback! Mom, in this case, is just tired of repeating herself and can't figure out what the kids are up to. No shaming. The kids are guilty because they know they should stay out of Mrs. Mary's yard but it's in the path of the game. I guess it's good you can sleep it off. I need booze or benadryl to do that.

Kim, honey badgers keep good secrets, don't they... Darn small towns.

Nana, no illegal stuff by the kids.

Margaret, I'm going to see Hunger Games this afternoon.

V.C., Steve and Tara can grow up. I've heard that kids do that.
A well crafted story, Phyllis; took me back to the days of Big Wheel races.
From little sheds large buildings grow and so it is with the imaginations of children; they grow into the likes of us! :)
John, the days of innocence.

Blinddream, kids have great imaginations.
Open and exposed. Interesting Opening Story.
To revel once more in the imagination of a child. Beautifully done.

zanelle, I like how you point out things to me that I don't see, even though I wrote it. I was so focused on the opening and closing that I failed to see open and exposed.

L.E., it was a fun trip. :)
You opened and closed the possibilities of the prompt with determination and finesse. The opening of the story led in many interesting directions before you closed it with an unlikely yet satisfying ending. Enjoyed!
Cute story with a nice twist at the end. Mrs. Mary bust be the brains behind the outfit. R
Seth & Gerald, thank you. I thought the kids were a nice touch. And we'll just have to see about Mrs. Mary.
Very charming! You started with suspense, but the "open and close" refrain sang like a children's tale, and POP! the surprise ending. Actually sweet!
Aw, this was so cute!
Thanks, Alysa. Cute is good. I'm trying to figure out how to bring this into one of my previous stories. Going to look at the new prompt and see if I can make that work.
You had me going guessing till the end. Then the door opened, and I fell right in!
Out on a limb, that puts a smile on my face...:)