Some months ago I wrote about Melanie, a schoolmate of mine who was bullied mercilessly decades ago when we were in the sixth grade. Much of the abuse took place on the school bus, and I wrote about my role as an inert bystander who failed to step in, and who even rejoiced at some moments in the suffering of someone incapable of defending herself. Only after she was physically injured did I begin to consider what this poor girl endured.
This week’s viral video of what happened on Monday to a school district employee in Greece, New York, illustrated many of these same tendencies that can emerge in our young people. In the footage, school bus monitor Karen Klein bore insults verbal attacks that, to put it mildly, shock the conscience. Klein, a widow who lives alone, appeared to bear the majority of the harassment without responding. This appears partly due to her hearing impairment, as she did not hear much of what the students were saying until after school district officials showed her the video as part of their investigation into the incident. Indeed, this footage presents too much for many of us to bear. The personal insults regarding Klein’s appearance go on for over ten minutes, but the students’ threats and cruelty push the limits of insidious imagination. In one instance, students threaten to find out where Klein lives in order to harm her and to ejaculate and defecate into her mouth. In another, they invoke the memory of her son who committed suicide years ago, saying that people close to Klein kill themselves because they cannot bear to be around her. At one point, she begins to read inspirational words printed on her purse, only to receive an overpowering and venomous chorus of invective in response. That children can perpetrate this kind of intense, sustained, and brazen abuse represents one dimension of our concern; that they would direct it at an adult responsible for supervising them takes us into yet another realm of discussion.
But there is more to consider. This video was posted on Youtube by one of the students on the bus. He claims that peer pressure accounts for his action, that he is very sorry for what Mrs. Klein endured, and that he should not have listened to his friends. He also says he took no part in the abuse. Sadly, these assertions ring hollow. It seems unlikely that his friends pressured him to take the additional step of posting the video online, and it would appear equally implausible that his sympathy came about before the public became duly outraged, prompting the police and school district’s administration to look into the matter. Much more likely, this young man—similarly to myself in grade six—enjoyed watching the abuse, jeered along with the attackers, felt a sense of empowerment in recording the events, and sought notoriety among his peers when he made it available for public view.
The injustice of what occurs in the video has provoked an intense response from the public. An online charity immediately sprung up to begin collecting funds to send Klein on a vacation, and as of this writing, the donations have totaled nearly $400,000. On the darker side, however, the Rochester Democrat and Chronicle reports that students in the school district—even a few who were not alleged to be involved in the incident—have received hundreds of threats online and via text message.
The horror of Mrs. Klein’s experience certainly merits our collective empathy and anger. Sadly, the reflexive impulse toward revenge will solve absolutely nothing. Worse, without a thoughtful, rational discussion, our entire society could lose an important opportunity to learn valuable lessons from this reprehensible incident.
First, despite policy requiring anti-bullying education and procedures for reporting abuse, the message is not reaching all of our children. All human beings possess a capacity to enjoy seeing others suffer; all of us have to some degree an impulse to be cruel; all of us in some measure can enjoy the feeling of impunity when doing something we know is wrong. These are human truths. When circumstances provide the dry tinder and group euphoria fans the sparks of these malicious tendencies, the resulting conflagration should not surprise us.
Next, any society’s impulse to visit vengeance strictly upon individuals whose behavior reflects wider problems is misguided at best. The students who perpetrated these acts should be held fully responsible—in terms of school policy and in terms of the law. If this harms their prospects in the future, so be it. Justice demands that they face consequences. However, if the story ends there, these students will simply become scapegoats, and we will fail as a civilization to address the evils that lurk in all of us.
Until now, the typical approach to the bullying issue has involved some documents posted on a school district’s website and enumerated in newsletters. Indeed, the Greece Central School District has ample information online regarding its harassment, intimidation, and bullying (HIB) policies. But a meaningful approach to this matter requires much more than this and certainly much more than a bunch of inspirational posters and feel-good slogans posted in classrooms and in hallways. Teachers and administrators have to do more than sprinkle a few comments here and there over the course of a school year. Far more important is a comprehensive approach in all of our schools to define acceptable behavior and to foster credible, authoritative enforcement of these expectations by all stakeholders.
HIB issues need not become obscured as schools emphasize respect, fairness, kindness, and order; rather, they can receive all the more emphasis. All adults in the school community—teachers, aides, secretaries, hallway supervisors, custodians, bus drivers, and bus monitors alike—must agree on principles that students must uphold with their behavior. Moreover, all adults must consistently and continuously communicate, stress, and reinforce these principles. They must intervene when they observe anything at variance. They must teach students to do the same. The adults must learn strategies for overcoming their fears as they act, and they must impart those same tactics to the students. They must prepare students to overcome the resistance and the attacks when they take up the cause of the weak. Adults and students must work together on a continual basis to establish and sustain a living, robust system that supports people who would see wrongs and attempt to set them right. This is not a set-it-up-and-leave-it framework; it is an integral feature of a school culture that recognizes and enhances every day the good in people and insists every day upon circumstances that allow that good to thrive.
These ideas must come through in every social norm that an outside observer would note about the school system—and in every situation even remotely associated with the institution. In such a scenario, all members of the school community interact civilly with each other, and any instance of incivility stands out conspicuously as a matter for discussion and for a constructive response. People in this sort of community pay attention to each other, and they expect the best from themselves and from those around them. These people acknowledge the destructive impulses that they all have, and they seek to minimize the harm that can result. They use lessons in all content areas as reinforcements of these ideas, not as some perfunctory activity required by school regulations, but because vivid examples abound across the curriculum. Such schools illustrate the struggle between justice and injustice in their lessons about Hypatia of Alexandria, Galileo, Artemesia Gentileschi, Frederick Douglass, Anne Frank, Cesar Chavez, and Nelson Mandela.
The school district in Greece, New York merely happens to be the one receiving the attention and scrutiny at this particular moment. The events many of us have witnessed by watching the infamous video—as egregious as they are—could easily have happened in most school districts across the country. Some elements in our media have seen to it that our young people possess the precocious and explicit sexual knowledge, the desensitization to vile language, and the hissing malice toward the innocent and defenseless. And to be sure, if this latest video depicts events that just happened to be captured and posted, we can only suspect how many other similar incidents occur with disturbing frequency.
So, at the base of things, this incident is not just about a handful of kids in Greece, New York. It’s about all of us. And it’s about what we will or will not do about it.


Salon.com
Comments
But society as a whole needs to get back to standards of civility. Modern we're not. In fact, I can't think of a historical society that I've read about that allowed what we allow.
Her fund is over 400k right now. :D most donations under 20 dollars. That's alot of people relating enough to actually do something kind. Pretty spectacular.
I know that in the human nature exists fear, indifference and anger, I am a human, I have felt all these. But the choice between right and wrong, is a family must didactic . To me the first and foremost on the individuals choice of right being is having as first thought, the
"' would I / could I have endured my own behaviour, if inforced upon me ? ''.
And I am a strong believer in the thinking '' do not do, what you do not want to be done on you''.
My opinion is, that the principal of this school, is totally to be blamed, cause knowing the teachers problems, he/ she should have been more cautious and sensitive. I am only wishing, that these youngs, are going to deal with justice, both them and their families, cause the most of the blame , at least, for this age, belongs to family.
My degree is in history, and this means that I am going to be a high school teacher, and by reading your story, this seems so fearful to me, being combined by the stories my university friends, who are already school teachers, have told me, about the bullying they are facing by students. It is trully, to say the least, sad, for a teacher to be disres ected, when all he/ she wants, is to make students smart, goodhearted and useful human beings.
I am totally with desdamona, this your writing deals with such a crucial issue, that makes me sad not seeing it in the cover.
So many thank you Paul, for writing such a difficult truth, giving solutions and the thinking , that maybe it is the time civilization does its work. So rated!!!!!
It used to be thought that humans were born little monsters who had to be beaten into shape and intimidated into behaving. Then the pendulum went the other way and we were born little darlings who will just naturally be *nice*. One of the really difficult things about life is that people are both monstrous and wonderful.
Onislandtime: Excellent point about elder abuse, a topic I left out. Regarding culture, values, and the role of school administrators, my ongoing thesis is that our mass media culture has on balance exerted an influence that contravenes long-held notions of modesty, courtesy, respect, and civility. People in traditional roles (parents, elders, adults in the neighborhood) have either lost some of their influence in promoting those notions, or they have found the imperative less important. Schools, as public institutions, have the responsibility and can exercise influence if they are run properly and if they are truly institutions for learning and personal growth. This applies to so much more than just the issue of bullying. Much to your point, however, a school cannot be a closed system; it must be a catalyst in the larger community. Your comments are so apt; I am very happy to see you here.
Donegal Descendant: You speak very much to my idea that somehow these perpetrators have been displaced from their own humanity. I believe you express that better than I do in my piece. And to anyone who might try to argue against us, perhaps citing the science related to the neurological research done with sociopaths indicating that some people are incapable of empathy, these are kids who under the right prevailing set of circumstances would never have done such horrible things. This incident and loads of others like it are an indication that we are failing as a culture to teach ourselves and our children what we are as people, what we possess inside, how to manage it all, and how we must interact as human beings. This is merely one part of a family's mission, a school's mission, and a community's mission. Thank you very much for reading and commenting. It means a lot to me.
Phyllis: Since I am a teacher, I can corroborate the neglect I have seen in education with regard to manners and civility. In defense of many teachers and administrators, I must say that so much public pressure has been brought to bear on the priorities of test scores, documentation, and petty window dressing, that what used to be an obvious part of our mission gets lost in the shuffle. My experience, however, proves to me at least that we need not be shy about insisting on respect and politeness, especially when it takes remarkably little time and effort. A small daily reminder to my students has them saying, "Good morning" when they arrive, "Hi, Mr. Fornale," in the hallways between classes," and "Have a good day" each afternoon. Perhaps I feel pathetic in having to ask for that, and perhaps it is sad that I must often remind them to be kind to each other, but it might take me a maximum of three minutes a day, and the compliance is a positive sign. I wonder what your thoughts may be on this, and thank you for coming to my blog!
Julie: Isn't that response on the part of the public incredible? As critical as I am of our media culture today, it shows that for better or worse, our media are powerful forces in our society. I hope to see even more of the "for better" part. Thank you for your comment!
Stathi: I feel the same as you about that old Golden Rule of doing unto others as I would have them do unto me. You and I are also of a like mind regarding human nature. You introduce a point I failed to make, however: the injustice of what happened to Mrs. Klein is heightened by the fact that she has chosen to work with children, and all that she and many other teachers and paraprofessionals want to do is help these kids learn and grow. To receive this kind of treatment in return is fundamentally unfair. Please do not be too worried about entering the teaching profession, however, as there is good news in my response to Phyllis above. I appreciate your thorough and thoughtful comment.
Well done.
R
Annie: That compliment means a great deal to me, especially coming from you. Do you want to hear a shocker? In all of my interviews, I believe I have been asked only once about abusive behavior and bullying, and on the vast majority of occasions when I attempt to broach the topic of fostering a culture of universal respect and civility, it receives a smile, a nod, and a question to change the subject. I'll catch on somewhere, I am sure, but I won't be hired specifically for the important contribution I hope to make.
Deborah: You are correct--bullying has always been with us, and for about 40 years or so, the culture of our youth has been septic. I was caught up in it as an adolescent, and for years I agonized over the horrid and insensitive things I said and did as a young teen. The advent of the Internet has only exacerbated the situation for our kids. Years ago, I saw seventh-grade girl give her female friend a peck on the cheek in the hallway. Another girl nearby pointed and yelled, "Hot lesbo action!" After walking away incredulous, I brought it up to a colleague who told me that kids see these phrases (and worse) all over the Internet. This was not even an instance of harassment or bullying, mind you. It was simply a friendly joke to them. When things turn ugly, however, it escalates from there, and the result is unconscionable. I tell my students every September, that there are forces outside my classroom that are engaged in an attempt to assassinate their innocence--and I tell them that if those influences enter my classroom I will deal with them decisively. Usually around the second or third week of school, someone starts giggling at the mention of the number 69. Then we have a teachable moment, I become very stern, the gigglers get the message that I meant what I said on the first day of school, and the issue rarely if ever arises for the rest of the year. I don't mean to sound like a prude, but if the supervisors of every classroom, every cafeteria, every school bus, every locker room, and every schoolyard, and every athletic field confronted any inappropriate utterance or action--sexual, racial, uncivil, impolite, or whatever the case might be--it would create a consistent environment of high expectations. I'm ranting; enough said. Thank you very much indeed for your remarks.
Oh, Erica! Your grim view is only too valid. My point, however, is that those who are unreachable are truly few and far between. Most of the kids involved in the accosting of Mrs. Klein, however, are likely the kind of kids we have not worked decisively in order to reach. We can change this. I'll stake my career on it! Still, I deeply appreciate your comment.
Over-indulgent parenting and over-zealous regulations of classroom teacher behavior have led us to this place. Children, being no different from their adult counterparts, are susceptible to mob psychology and those darned school buses are like greenhouses for breeding mayhem led by negative leaders.
I hope Mrs. Klein takes those gracious donations and allows herself to retire from that job and take a trip around the world or whatever will make her happy.
Lezlie
First of all, I agree with those who think this piece deserves to be on the cover. I saw the news clip on the television last night and felt so frustrated and sad for the poor lady who was ruthlessly bullied by a bunch of youngsters without conscience, manners or respect for their elders. I used to see the lunch monitors in my school disrespected by students as if they were not even human beings, ignoring their reminders to pick up after themselves, put their garbage in the trah bins, stop running, etc. These ladies (often older grandmothers who worked for a few needed extra dollars) would put up bravely with the humiliation for the two hours of their employment every day, and then leave with relief until the next time. The administrations support of them was really a token one in my view. They had no unions or a support system, except those teachers who stood up for them when students disobeyed the rules which they tried to uphold.
Your writing illuminates a problem in our system which needs to be addressed at grass roots. It is rampant and keeps growing in spite of all the talk and the limelight it is given. As you so aptly concluded, what happened in Greece, NY and went viral on YouTube "[is] about all of us. And it’s about what we will or will not do about it."
Thank you for bringing this to the attention of OS community.
Highly Rated
R♥
But it has gotten especially awful these days, of Youtube(kids post their videos of them doing criminal activities all the time, vandalism, etc. Kind of stupid if you ask me cause well, just as there's lots of people who go, YAY! There's those who go NAY and report your butt to the authorties!!! :D
But a positive note to this story, lots of good people out there, almost 400k in the ole vacation fund!! She could take a pretty nice trip for that!! ~:D
Tink: Do not take this the wrong way, but whenever I read something you write, and it does not change topics three times in each clause, and your satirical edge is dulled, I know someone has reached you. Your depth has never evaded me, but thanks for taking a moment to break character. I'd rather die than see another video like the one I saw yesterday. Your comments mean a lot to me--and you and I may agree: it's time to give the kids some assertive (not aggressive) teachers that they can respect. Lots of respect from me, my friend.
I don't want to go on and on about "when I was a kid" other than I know we all did some stupid things, said vile things, and we were punished when we were caught. And we stopped.
These things are coming around, which is damn painful for us -- yet, in another time, maybe 15 -20 years ago, this would be swept under the rug. Those principal's would deftly shift from acrobatic apologists, to Zero Tolerance enforcers. At least, they wanted this impression when asked to defend their school.
This is not a knock against NY, which has one of the better school systems in the country. We are aware that what they need is realistic home training in matters of social interaction. It's not always bad kids -- the parents have got to be more attuned to what's out there, become involved more.
Thanks for sharing. R>>>>
I found your piece via your comments on the flame wars. Apt resonance with this piece on bullying. thank you for thoughtful reflective (and civil) discourse.