Greetings class of 2012:
As a member of Generation X, I'd like to welcome you into what has been called "The Real World."
When I was in school, we were the generation that was going to destroy the country. The introduction of Bart Simpson would poison the youth, latchkey kids would go home to an unattended home and snort lines of cocaine, and after worshipping makeshift temples of Kurt Cobain we'd all make pilgrimages to Seattle to buy flannel while trying to find ourselves--damn the "man"--and refuse to work for corporations that would take away our sense of individuality.
Yeah, that happened.
But this isn’t about me and trying to wax poetic about “the good ol’ days”—this is about you. You see, I was at your graduation. I sat in a chair in a gymnasium, and I watched you walk across the stage. Some of you were scared, others were crying, many laughed, and a few just counted the moments until it would be all over.
What I didn’t see was bickering, swearing, tears of hurt, or words of pain. I’d like to think that I saw you as you truly are—at your best—the person that you are in your head behind all the walls of defenses and bravado. It’s fitting that this is where you decided to introduce yourself, since this is representative of your introduction into the world. The people I saw today are the people I’d like to know; they are the ones who can do great things.
Yet, let us be realistic. Many of you have been swimming against the stream your entire lives: homes without any food, homes with broken or distant or overbearing parents, substance abuse, unfair or unrealistic expectations, apathy, and so on. Quite, pensive guys who cry when all they want to do is go play the guitar in a coffee shop and live on Mac-n-Cheese, or tearful girls who expect perfection in every facet of life, constantly pushing themselves onward to a breaking point. Or the girl who goes home one day to discover that her entire family has moved without leaving a forwarding address….
You have been cracked-up, stepped on, and made to feel small…three feelings you will, unfortunately, become very familiar with your entire life. However, someone or something on shore tossed you a rope—brought you back to shore, got you on your feet, and shoved you back in the water to continue on. And you are still swimming. And for the love of God, “Don’t’ stop, don’t stop movin’”….
Back in the 1970s when I was a kid, Polaroids were the rage. You’d flip open the giant box of a camera, hear the *click* and whir of the film being created, and a black puffy plate of film would appear and magically turn into a picture within minutes. Most of the photos from my childhood are on puffy black framed Polaroid film that has been losing its vibrancy over time. And when the hats were tossed and balloons came tumbling down from the ceiling, I was glad to have a reason to escape quickly—to not interact with anyone from the crowd or any of you—because, first off, I could have never verbalized any of this—words are not my friends.
However, more importantly, is what occurs after the ceremony takes place. Group dynamics take over. Families and friends gather around the graduate; defenses go up; bravado amps itself up to full blast; and that initial expression of the true self goes back into hiding. Why would I want to witness that?
And to the one who stopped me in my tracks to say, “You are such a remarkable person. I’m going to miss you so much.”
Ditto
*click* whir


Salon.com
Comments
http://www.thedailybeast.com/videos/2012/06/09/you-are-not-special.html
Seems to be appropriate for this post and my comment.
Graduation? I refused to go to either of mine, but then I'm a bolshey tail-end Boomer.
(I deserved a cold one or six after that!)
have made friends in your middle age..
i am of the same generation...i was even quicker than you,
i'll bet, to get the hell out of there and return to my bubble,
flowing upstream
not down...
it finally popped, and air got in, and i found i could breathe,
most of the time. That is all anyone needs, a place in the world
where they can just..f-ing....take an unhindered breath.
fine stuff. rated and friended. ha. pensive sarcastic angry young
man to
young man.
(I find most graduation speeches boring.)
We take the "real life" trip from the moment we are born. School is part of it. r
I think, Deborah, they call this new crop "Millennials"
I always find high school graduations sad, thinking this may be the only celebration some of them ever get.
Nicely written PP.
Rated
.
Guys, did you see The Cabin in the Woods? Do you remember the one shot of the woman technician, who saw all the murderous creatures approaching, and chose to avoid the whole mess by blowing out her own brains?
I'm here to advise you to be that woman.
You are currently in debt you will never pay off, you will never be hired for anything unless you move to India and learn to speak with an accent, and the Republicans - the real-world versions of those Cabin monsters - are about to destroy any hope that anything will ever become better.
Does this tacit admission that your life is a failure, and you should have been aborted some twenty-odd years ago, seems depressing? Think about this. By killing yourselves now, you won't have to worry about the debt you incurred with the pretend education you received in this combination shopping mall and sports stadium they mislabeled a "university." The One Percent will assign that debt to your parents, the people who were stupid enough to have you. Consider it the real-life version of that poster on your wall, the mouse about to be eaten by a hawk, showing an upraised middle finger, and entitled "The Last Act of Defiance."
I take my leave of you now. If you didn't bring your own pistols - and given that this is a Southern university, I find that unlikely - there's someone from the Harris and Klebold Institute who will be glad to oblige you, right after you pick up that worthless piece of sheepskin. Thanks, I'm out of here. Ave Atque Vale.
Being an old fart, I have advice-giving in my genes so I can't help myself: When it comes to college debt, organize a mass debt strike and stick it to the banks. Look up Iceland for inspiration. The banks don't deserve your money. You deserve your life.
Agreed, Sashira, often very unrealistic....
Thanks all for stopping by and leaving such nice thoughts..
It's nice that the kids can have a break from the stress and conflict of adolescence to celebrate a milestone. I taught high school, and you described my kids. The girl who said she hadn't finished her homework because her sister knifed her father, the girl who had to take her baby to the doctor but forgot to bring a note from her mother, the boy who confessed to attacking gay men for fear of being gay himself. I began to see that school was somehow a refuge for them, that is, if we created the right environment, one with genuine adult interest, even love. I just tried to give them space to be themselves, kept the atmosphere calm and positive, pushed them to learn a few things about writing, and tried not to undermine their self-respect. I often wonder how well that worked, because it's a story you don't get to read the end of.
As always, a terrific piece.