The Case of the Missing Crack Pipe 

“I just know a kid is going to find that crack pipe.” I think this to myself as I shake out the soiled sheets, turn over the mattress and scoot myself under the bed. Shit, no luck, still missing. I look through the mostly… Read full post »

You return here

Like a dog to its vomit

Greedily Lapping it up

With your ignorant comments

You lifted your manged leg

And tried to mark me with pee

Now go dig another a hole

And let me be

I'd too be angry if I were neutered

Tucked away in a pink… Read full post »

They took her to expensive dinners

They bought her gifts like no other

They showed her all the lovely things money could buy

Live with us, be nothing like your mother

But wouldn’t that hurt her, she thought

They didn’t count on the child who couldn’t be bought… Read full post »

I loved my father, my daddy. My sister and I jockeyed for the favorite child position well into our adult lives. She ultimately won, by following the rules and marrying well. My half-brother, never into sports and butch things, but a Madonna follower who painted his high school bedroom… Read full post »

A continuation of

The Kiss That Ended My Marriage

http://open.salon.com/blog/patiencep/2012/03/30/the_kiss_that_ended_my_marriage

I left Dudley’s room and went to my room down the hall. The lava lamp glowed a blue hue onto the wood paneled walls. My room was the only place I was allowed to kee… Read full post »

I read the recent post by icyhighs this morning "The Vagina Darkly" and I was insprired to write about a sparkle.  

http://open.salon.com/blog/icyhighs

I’m in the vagina business. I'm an Esthetician. I do Brazilian waxes, so I've seen a few. The biggest concern and ques… Read full post »

Two weeks after I had my daughter, my mother told me we were going to go to Social Services to see about child support.  Thinking she had my best interest in mind, I blindly followed her baby in tow into the cement block drab building where we waited for an hour… Read full post »

I don't care how old you are 17 or 57, you don't want to hear how your dad was doing it up the poop shoot with some sex crazed divorcee. This was going to be the subject of conversation today in my mother’s green and gold minivan. 

We had never really had… Read full post »

I had black friends in school up until 5^th grade. I hung from the rusty monkey bars upside down giggling with Ronetta as she shouted insults and pried off the fingers of the whiney boys who told us it was their turn to play. I tried to outrun Toneshia in my/… Read full post »

Dudley, my husband and I had been living in separate bedrooms for awhile; I guess we should have seen this coming. We hadn’t had a real kiss in several years. He and his last wife had begun the long road to divorce this way as well, almost exactly the same way… Read full post »

I walked into the back door of my father’s fully Americanized restaurant full of bulk canned and frozen foods passed off as fresh. It was late afternoon. I was wearing the new beige pant suit and matching peep toe high heels I had purchased the week before in Myrtle Beach. My h… Read full post »

What happens to a child not loved by its mother? It dies slowly, painfully aching for the motherly touch, the touch the literal child has read about in children’s books, watched during holiday commercials, seen firsthand while away at college on parent’s day with moist tissues dabbing eye… Read full post »

“You are a slut!”

Her hand smacked me across my teary cheek in the small bathroom of the motel room that my father bought for us at the beach. He sent us there several times a year. I was sitting on the toilet. The lid was down so I could feel… Read full post »

I’m on page 37 of my book, "The Sociopath Next Door". It makes me think of my mother and other people I have had…. and I use this word loosely, loving relationships with. A sociopath has no conscience and apparently 4% of us are sociopaths according to my book. There are… Read full post »

My husband told his whole college English class I had Aspergers. He said they were talking about Sylvia Plath. I enjoy Sylvia Plath, the Bell Jar is kept on the DO NOT GIVE AWAY bookshelf. The tragedy, the sadness, melancholy of her work is raw and honest. I dig it. My… Read full post »

I am dead now  

You killed me with your selfish pursuit of perfection

Before I was born I was never good enough

But you couldn’t make the connection

She WILL succeed

Or we will beat it out… Read full post »

“AHHHHHHHHHHH!” Get them out!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!”

“Patience! Why is your brother screaming?! What did you do to him this time?!!” my mother yells from the stairwell that leads to her upstairs bedroom where she had sat eating tortilla chips in bed watching soap operas, still… Read full post »

“Ummm, Hello, Dad? I need a place to stay for a little while, Trusty hit me again”.

There is a familiar sigh on the other end of the receiver.

I am 19. I dropped out of college a year ago. I hated college and I hated hearing my father talk about… Read full post »

I’m a vegetarian, so is my husband and my daughter is most days of the week. A container of sugar can last months in our home. We don’t drink soda, unless we go to the movies or have a bar drink. We would never buy it at the grocery and keep… Read full post »

I spent 1^st through 3^rd grade in a private Christian School. Bible stories were read daily along with corny childish prayers about hamsters that were sick and wanting new bikes for birthdays. I thought God and Santa Clause were pretty much the same person…..see’s you when you’re sl/… Read full post »

My parents were followers, mostly following and replicating each act of our neighbors, the Davenports. We moved next door to the Davenports when I was 6 years old. Mr. Davenport and my father had been best friends since they were in elementary school. My father built a bigger house which I’m… Read full post »

This story goes way back to the early 1970’s, when my parents experienced the biggest disappointment of their lives; the birth of an average child.

I was the first born into the prestigious Wilson family in a little town in NC that thought they were too big for themselves. I… Read full post »

I was once homeless. My family didn't have a home most of 2009. It happened quickly. My husband and my 2 children from another marriage lived in a nice established middle class neighborhood. My husband worked as a robotics engineer. I was a successful esthetician. We opened our own… Read full post »

Today while working at my mother-in-law's fruit stand with my daughter. A man came up to the counter and asked my daughter why she wasn't in school? I spoke up and said proudly, because she's making straight A's in the virtual home-school program, "she's home-schooled". He said "Ohhh Nooo" with an… Read full post »

I was introduced to sex at the young age of 3 years old, by my grandfather.  I had repressed most of this memory only to be rushed back to me the first time my boyfriend asked me to give him oral sex.  I was 19 years old, yes I know, I/… Read full post »