When you find what you were never searching for...

Outside Myself

Outside Myself
West Coast Body, East Coast Heart, California,
January 19
Don't even have to knock...come on in.
I am now 47 and perfectly OK with that. I've been a mom for over 14 years now. I live a rather simple yet difficult life of trying to make sure my daughters are polite, well-educated and know they are loved beyond question. I do my best to give my family whatever they need. And I'm trying to take care of myself. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx I am infinitely trying to make people happy, make people laugh, make people feel good about themselves. I compliment often, but only with sincerity. I spend way too much time thinking about what might be the "right" thing to do in any given situation. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx This is a personal journey for me. I have grown in ways I didn't know were possible. AND AN UPDATE: Don't forget your worth. This speaks to everyone, not just me. xoxoxo ~~~~ And thx, B. My heart was beginning to thaw but your beautiful friendship has melted it. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx FURTHER UPDATE: - B, darling, you have brought me love and peace. You sent the words, "Be gentle with yourself." I am able to do so only because you have been gentle with my heart. I love you, soul mate.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx And now, it's been 18 months... So incredible to recall where I was and where your love has taken me...xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx And now, two years have passed since those first simple PMs...xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxAnd now, three...xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxAnd now FIVE!!! :-)


JUNE 10, 2010 12:28PM

OPEN CALL - What was your FIRST COMMENT on OS?

Rate: 39 Flag

I'm seeing how much fun these new changes are on OS and I have to ask:


What was your very first comment on OS?


Mine is a bit embarrassing but it reminded me of how very much my life has changed since I've been on OS.  (I was in a very bad marriage...)  Maybe it will show you how much YOU'VE changed?


Here's mine, from Robin Sneed's post "Hot New Sex Idea."


"I once had a man tell me 15 years later that he still thinks of our (one) kiss. He said he felt it from the top of his head to the soles of his feet, and everywhere in between. Yum. It's been almost 6 years since I've kissed someone...I miss kissing...

JUNE 16, 2009 10:11 PM" 



Obviously, life has changed a great deal for me...  :-) 




Go to "View Blog" then "Activity" tab - and it will show your comments.  Go to the last page and find your first comment.  Click on it, cut-and-paste it into the comments section here, or write a post about it.  Let me know and I'll happily provide a link!! 





P.S. - I love you, Smithery! :-)

Love, love, love, love, love!!








Have fun! 




Cranky Cuss...





L in the Southeast...


Nick Carraway...


Two Thumbs...

The Wanderer... 

Just Cathy... 

Matt Paust...


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I wouldn't know how to find it.
My first comment was "I will now try to build a non-imaginary audience." Rather worked out well, I'd say!
bobbot - I added How-to info!
Doug - Doug..... Doug..... The name sounds familiar.....
I commented to Silkstone on a post about movies. It wasn't my usual wiseass comment, either.

She ignored me and answered the comment before me and the comment after me. I thought I might actually be invisible.
D - You are ANYTHING but invisible. It's nice to SEE YOU again!
I would have thought it would have been something like " Nice job" as I waded into the shark infested waters for the first time.

From JonMagee Post :

Terrorist threats against Barak Obama made on Facebook!!

My comment:With no disrespect to you Pastor ,but in making a point, it is sadly ironic that Mr. Fuller does not denounce the passages within our Christian bible stating death come to all that are not Christian yet anyone practicing the Muslim faith, in which the Qu'ran states the same in some passages, is considered an extremist/terrorist. I can only conclude, based on this man's lack of appitude that Facebook is now harboring what.... a Christian extremist/terrorist willing to kill for Democracy? Good luck with that Mr. Fuller.
To Foolish Monkey on the loss of Tootie -

Wild Bill would never have dreamed of being absent from my son when it was time to sleep. Not even after a terrible brain event that made him a shadow of the dog he was. As he declined, we kept him home with all the beautiful smells and sights he so loved. The cats even snuggled and cleaned his ears. He would look at me with yearning from where he was laying until I lifted his big Labrador body and placed him on his bed in my son's room. He went confidently once my son finally slept. In short, it is such heart pain to lose these sweet noble friends. I feel it...
November 13, 2009, 05:50 a.m.
DOUG!!! The guy who came out of thin air and is one cool cat - I love seeing you around! (You know I was just teasin' ya!)
Wow! I love all the new things we can look up now on OS! My first comment was on Foolish Monkey's post:

"I love this post. I am startled to see my mother's face when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. It appeared overnight."

Joan H. December 22, 2009
DECEMBER 22, 2009 08:01 P
Angela, that's like looking for a needle in a haystack, my goodness. If I find it I may even discriminate myself, so I may have to pass. :o)
TME - You were more thoughtful than you gave yourself credit for! I'm glad you jumped in with something you felt so strongly about. OS is lucky to have you, hun.

Linnn - Oh, what a lovely comment on such a painful post.
Joan - You've only been here since December??? What a very interesting comment, too...

Fusun - That's so funny. You always get a pass with me, doll.
Sheesh! You made my heart leap there for a second. I started having an anxiety attack and everything! Naughty Outside Myself!

This is so much fun! I love reading the comments here! Wonderful idea.
My first OS Comment is dated Sept 14 2008, in response to a post by Liz Emrich on a post about tight polls in the 2008 election:

Nothing is over yet. But the constant hand-wringing does not create the kind of narrative that helps us win.

You're absolutely right, Liz. (I have to remind myself of this all the time--DON'T get hung up on Polls and don't panic.) Thank you for writing this article. I feel infinitely better after reading it. We HAVE to win, this time. I'm not impressed by EITHER McCain or Palin. The thought of them in charge of our nation is too horrible to be borne.

Obama/Biden '08 All the Way!!

It amuses me to realize that was the day before the Stock Market took it's 500 point swan dive on September 15, 2008, and the whole economic crisis was about to get underway.

But it may well have saved us from the McCain/Palin administration.
Doug - Couldn't let an opportunity like that pass me by... :-)

Shiral - Pretty amazing, how things change, eh?
LC - I also have favorites that have disappeared and I wonder what happened to them. I, like you, appreciate seeing my comments acknowledged. I always go back to check...
Hmm, I went back and looked at it; seems I was on a mission since it was in response to [ame i] who had a horror health care story; she had commented on my post:

I think 2 people read it. [my response, in part]

SEPTEMBER 04, 2009 11:21 PM
What happened to you is a tragedy, but for the grace of God you had some insurance for your husband, and at least he wasn't denied his claim. Unfortunately, many are denied procedures to save the insurance company money, and drive up profits. I am retired from the medical/pharmaceutical industry, and I can tell you the Billions in profit they make each year for their stockholders are unseemly.


Hear Nixon discuss [on audio tape] the HMOs and how they are designed to give less care and make more money. This was in February of 1971.
I hope your life is better now, but I'm sure it stays in the back of your mind what could happen. Godspeed to you.

Take THAT you healthcare knucke-heads.
* Doug, mine truly was an imaginary audience, I was preaching to a choir of 2
I’m not going to dig through and try to figure out what my personal first comment was because Suzy’s is still cracking me up.

Her first comment was on a post by Stellaa about this Yogi who thought that being gay was a “congenital defect" that could be cured by studying yoga.

Hahahahahaha! The comment was pure, 100% Suzy at her finest:

"OMFG Becky! "It can be treated like any other congenital defect"???

What like the "defects" of being a "congenital" bigot, homophobe and/or dumb-ass?"

P.S. Great post. Thank you for renewing a fond memory.

P.P.S. FFS, will you and Smithery get a freak'in room already! :-D
On a post by Mama Lou: I enjoyed your post, and can relate! God is always hiring . . . but the pay isn't always tangible, and the ministry isn't always visible.
Joy - I'd say it's a good mission to be on. And I remember my first post (deleted) had one person comment on it. No, it wasn't me. ;-)

Amy - That is so darn hysterical! Suzy didn't take any crap, did she? GREAT first comment!!!
April 11, 2009 04:09 PMThis quiz reminds me of Jimmy
Buffett's "Pencil Thin Mustache":

I wish I had a pencil thin mustache,
The Boston Blackie kind
A 2-toned Ricky Ricardo Jacket
and an autographed picture of Andy Devine.
I remember being buck-toothed and skinny,
Writing fan letters to Sky's niece Penny
Oh, I wish I had a pencil thin mustache,
then I could solve some mysteries too.

Anyway, obviously I'm into "old fartdom" too. Because I remember as a young boy fantasizing about Penny along with te other "buck tooth and skinny" kids in my neighborhood. Nice post.
Owl - So you started out a wise old owl? Not fair.

Walter - "Old fartdom" - I love it. There are worse things to be! (I have always called myself an "old soul" but maybe I should just change it to "old fart." Hmmm...)
This is my first OS comment.
larry - You know, you always crack me up! I'm so glad you commented here (first).
My first official comment on Open Salon was June 16, 2009, at 03:32PM, in response to: BBC Online goes green for Iran
“There are some reports on Twitter that BBC changes its website color daily. I guess if they stay green tomorrow we can safely assume it was intentional…”

I like my second much better. On June 16, 2009, at 04:02PM, in response to: Leading Qualifications
“The genetic lottery as still life. I like it.”
my first comment was on a joan walsh post: “Jindal looked like he was talking and filling his Depends at the same time.”
About: I am a masochist
My first comment was on a post entitled "No, I Am Not Coming Back from Thailand" by Alaina

"I have to agree; the photo is great. Your description of the coup and its effects are similar to what my friend living in Bangkok has told me. His biggest concern seems to be how much time to allow himself to get to work in the morning.

Smithery December 12, 2008"

Wow, I've been here that long??

The photo I'm talking about is of a young woman jokingly pointing a rifle at a Thai soldier who's grinning and has his hands up. I wonder if he caught any flak for that?

Great idea for an open call, sweetheart :)
Smithery ~ Sweetheart, I'm going to have so much fun stalking my pre-sweetheart you. :-) I always loved your comments on other people's posts. You may have been here since 2008, but I'm just glad you were here on July 3rd, 2009. :-)
Kathy - Thanks for playing along. I think we're going to have fun looking at our old comments and finding new favorites.

Chuck - That made me laugh out loud!
I'm liking the OS upgrades myself, and have long wished for a way to keep track of my comments. Here's the very first one I made:

I'm not at all surprised to read how Wolf Blitzer betrayed you to the Elders, but i do have to wonder- how did you supplant Anderson Cooper as his boy-toy?
October 20, 2008 08:40 PM
Clever idea, Angela.
My first comment was a response to Rob St. Amant's comment on my third posting, -- and it happened to be on my birthday, and he noticed that on my profile and wished me a happy birthday.

It was a quite serious, personal post, and my first EP. On my first two posts I didn't realize I should comment back. And was not yet feeling confident enough to comment on others' posts.

Both Rob and I are still around, more or less.

August 26, 2008 11:10AM
“Thank you, Rob. My present to myself is sharing this personal reflection.”
nana - So great to see you again! I agree - I am loving the changes and going back to read my comments will remind me of the wonderful posts I've read! Loved your comment!

Lea - That made my eyes tear up. And how lovely for him to have noticed your birthday. Amazing how we touch each others' lives...
Dec 24, 2008 -

"Wanting to be a Republican doesn't make you a racist, it makes you a masochist."

I have since then decided to never offend anyone's partisan sensibilities. That would be....wrong.

My fav recent was on Mr DeWind's post about Rush Limbaugh's anal fixation--

"It could be a primal desire to revisit his birth event."

It is interesting going over those old comments. I thought they were lost forever...some of them should be, I guess.
Oh dear, my first comment was on blog by "Mistress Aubrey" about fetish shoes. Which is really weird, because that is a subject that is about 180 degrees opposite of the kind of thing I'm interested in. It reads as follows:

"I have a question about something that seems a bit contradictory here. And, believe me, I'm not passing judgment one way or another on a person being a dominatrix.

But, I'm wondering how these shoes can exude a sense of power and domination if they're so uncomfortable and difficult to walk in. I find it hard to reconcile those two things.

It would seem that the ultimate sense of power and domination would be exuded by a pair of skull-stomping Doc Martens or maybe a pair of standard-issue Army boots."

It doesn't appear that she answered my question!
Paul - Welcome! I also thought they were lost forever and I am so darn happy that they are back. I'm now trying to remember if I said anything I wish I hadn't (likely!) I can't even begin to comment on political stuff.

Jeanette - She probably never answered because she's still laughing, like I am (I'm just a really good typist :). That was a great first comment!
This is such a good idea, OS! My first comment was on a post by Laurel, not Lauren called 'Madness, my Mother and Me'. I joined OS in order to comment - is that so bizarre? - but I had been reading variously for a couple of months. Laurel's extraordinary writing and the topic moved me sufficiently to write here for the first time, in the form of a comment. (Maybe I'll do a post on this... )

I loved this post for its humanity and compassion. The knitting and the Kotex and the colliding lunar cycles, they're metaphors and images that I found perfect. I don't know if this is my own countertransference or a subliminal theme in your piece but are you making a connection between being Bi-Polar and being a Woman? Thanks for sharing this with us and for writing it so beautifully.
February 07, 2009 07:40 AM
My first comment:

On Tuesday, I was told that my job at the newspaper for which I’ve worked for nearly two decades had been “eliminated.” Besides being the managing editor, I wrote a weekly column, usually on topics of local interest and personal pieces about my life.

I can't stop.

I'd been poking around OS for a time, but never posted. “Someday,” I thought, “when I have the time.”

Well, I’ve got the time. On Thursday, my first post, "Life after Newspapers," (http://open.salon.com/blog/maria_stuart/2009/04/02/life_after_newspapers) was an editor's pick. I received wonderful comments and the realization that there is, indeed, a writing life after newspapers.

I’m hooked.

(In response to a post by Scoubidou on April 3, 2009: http://open.salon.com/blog/scoubidou/2009/04/02/who_are_you_and_why_do_you_post_on_open_salon#comment_436218)
To CK Dexter Haven's "Screeching Red Glider" back in January of this year, I commented:
"You offered me my first comment on OS--now I'll offer one back. This wonderful post of yours makes sitting here in front of this screen feel like the absolute right place to be, for the first time all day, so thank you, and pleased to make acquaintance with your writing."
Technically this was my second comment and it proved to be a harbinger of many future feelings for OS. And I miss CK here.
My very first one was on my own flounce ("Later, OpenSalon", on the very first day I joined:
"this was meant to be tongue-mostly-in-cheek...thanks for the comments--all interesting! (as you can see, I came back, like an hour later:) "
I was shocked that anyone even read it, a little upset that one person "misread" me, then later learned the word flounce and how it and the metapost gathers the most views. I also immediately started using emoticons (which I wouldn't have been caught dead doing previously) so no one would misinterpret my tone again, ever! :)
Thanks for inspiring this interesting bit of detective work in an OC, O.M. : )
psychomama - Not bizarre at all. That's why I joined! And you picked what sounds like a wonderful piece on which to leave a wonderful comment.

Maria - What a perfect comment - and isn't it interesting that it takes you back to something so profound in your life. (And belated congrats on the EP.)

Will - If you're going to choose a first person to comment on, Torman is the perfect one. And a poignant post as well. As far as having an attitude...that's a good thing.
dirndle - You bring upa point that I love: Here, there are so many writers (I'm not a writer, I'm a scribbler), yet we have to use emoticons because some people don't know how to read sarcasm or other such emotions. I've been misunderstood before and I am SOOOO careful to either say nothing that can be misconstrued or I use a silly smile to make my point obvious. I'm glad you decided to stay here at OS and hang out. :-)

SEE???? I couldn't help myself!
I can be painfully shy in new situations. I had been reading OS for a few months. I finally joined because of one person who was having a hard time and I HAD to join in order to PM them a note of support.

Even after I had joined I kept reading thinking all the writers I read were much better writers and thinkers than I, even in comments...so clever and terribly familiar and droll...so I'd read and wish I could be as clever and finally...worked myself up with a few woops and war crys and jumped into the water head first by doing my first blog.

my first comment was a big thank you to everyone who commented on ot. I couldn't bring myself to comment until I finally did a post of my own.

it isn't necessary to read it...it's a lot of nice nice, hello, thank you to the few lovely people who came and read this first blog of mine, agreeing that dogs are fabulous. (my post was about the fundamentalist belief that dogs (animals) don't go to heaven, which I said was absurd.)

I'm glad I jumped in. I have so much fun here. :)
rated (keep forgetting to do it first)
Great idea! HERE is mine.
Foolish Monkey - I was also afraid to write a post here and it took some time before I did it. It got an EP and cover, but I have since removed the post. I think it is lovely that you joined so that you could send a note of support to someone. Shows your heart.

Dianaani - I'm so glad you provided a link in your comment! I'll go check it out!!
oh my...reading these comments is fun but just now I read Linnnns and remembered that beautiful comment to me on Toots death. so touching everyone was so sweet to me, sharing like that and remembering their own very very personal pain.

Thank you Linnnn. And you too Joan. And practically everyone here has visited my blog once or twice.

Yup...I have been very honored on OS, having such fine people and spectacular writers share with me. Now I'm in tears.

I just needed to say that. Thank you.
Monkey - Awwwwww....such lovely sentiments. I'm so glad you came back for that.

Cranky Cuss - Thanks for the PM about your post. I've provided a link above...
January 03, 2009 12:46PM

“Could anyone think their day is difficult after reading this ? Best to you Dominica.”

I love you too, baby :) ~xoxoxo~
Here is my first comment:

Not a fan of Scientology. Religion has a purpose, dope for the masses, as someone once said, maybe.

I could not help but think back in time to WWII and a process of how many Jewish children were saved. They were placed in hiding or out in the open and baptized. They grew up in the Christian faith. Most did so willingly being to young or powerless to fight it or with their parent or guardian's consent all in the hopes that they would be saved from relentless pursuit and death at the hands of the Nazis. In the end many were seemingly Christians as it was all they knew and understood. When some of their families were able to come back to retrieve them, they were unwilling to go, or to return to the faith of their fathers. In many cases obstacles were placed by the adoptive families or the Church itself. There was no going back after baptism, that was the mantra. It was a very difficult time and children were victimized all over again by civil court proceedings to establish 'ownership' parental rights over the child. It was a disgusting messy time, and on the heels of the great devastation of most of the Jews in Europe. I am reminded of why we help, how we can give.

"Give freely and without implication, protect in the best way possible the dignity of the person, respect their customs and beliefs. Have no agenda in your mercy. Honor your faith or humanitarianism keeping it free from label and motive. Go forth and soothe the tired and damaged, but do so honestly." SMFL

JANUARY 28, 2010 12:02 PM on Sally Swift's
Travolta, Helping Haiti, Himself or Scientology?
Thank you. I didn't know how to find my first. Yes, you have been through some changes since coming here, great changes.
Smithery ~ Sorry, sweetheart. ~XOXOXO~
aka - Nice to see you again. Wow, Jan '09 - you've been here a while. Sounds like you started out with a great comment, too. Good perspective.

Sheila - And conversely, you've only been here since THIS January?? Sally is a marvelous place to start! :-)

Scanner - Yes indeed. My life and my future are infinitely better.
It was a wonderful day. I wrote "I Thought I Was Mature" and here is my first comment and who wrote it:

The other day here in Metharitaville, an alpha-male type roared his Harley through the stop sign at a crosswalk and almost ran me over like a chipmunk.

That's what I get for being "too mature" and looking every day of it.

Rated in anticipation of your next installment.

SEPTEMBER 20, 2009 10:58 PM
Sorry for being a comment whore, but I though that this was too special not to share.

This was my Suzy's very last comment ever. It was to LadyMiko and Peanut...

January 30, 2010 12:02AM

“Nothing to say. Just a bunch of big assed uber hugs. (a couple for Peanut too!) *Muah*”

About: How To Screw Up Your Daughter"

My Suzy passed on the next day, but her last comments were reaching out trying to comfort somebody else.

(yeah, I'm still crying my eyes out.)
I just love you and your new found happiness! What a great idea..
This is a very good question and a great open call. R
I'm not going to make a post on this OM, but it is pretty freaking neat how we can look back now.
Turns out my first was Jan 1, 2009 at Leigh Bailey's.

I have no recollection of it! Funny too (and it's a long comment thread), I recognize maybe a third of the other people who left comments.
Sorry for the delay in responding and in linking your posts. My daughters and I decided to walk downtown to the library!
My first OS comment was to Norma Tennis, when she was blogging about Cary's cancer treatment. I was so moved by Cary's open and articulate expression of his experience.

December 18, 2009 03:54 PM

"I tried to find this blog for awhile yesterday, finally found it today. I have been thinking about Cary and wondering how things went, and it sounds like things went even better than expected, such good news.

Norma, please love him up a little extra for us. He does have a hard challenge ahead, and he will meet it, with Caryness, and with a good Norma.

I will check back as you post. Thank for your consideration in making this place."

Cary is now back writing his advice column on big salon, and I am still here :-)
Harriet - Welcome! That's a great comment - how funny! Now do you know what the first comment YOU left for someone was? I'd love to know!

Amy - Mi casa es su casa (or something like that...I haven't taken Spanish since 8th grade). That is a tremendous comment from Suzy and I am not the lest bist surprised that she was reaching out even then. I am really very honored that you shared that comment on my little o' blog.

LL2 - Then play along! Where did you leave your first comment?

Thoth - What, are you and LunchLady out for drinks together? What's the answer?? :-)

Trig - That's kinda cracking me up that you have no recollection of it. And it is sad when we don't recognize people, isn't it? Or that they've left?

Mypsyche - Great? C'mon, it'd be great if you played along! :-)
Greenheron - Such a sweet first comment and I'm sure your reaching out made a difference to both of them. Kindness always does... Thanks for playing!
So cool... let me go see :D
Amanda - Just come back!! :-)
My first comment:

" xoxo"

Robin Sneed - Ramesh Party: OS Explodes!
December 06, 2009 - 11:33 p.m.

Two hours later on:

John Anderson's: oh dear here is my blog you old sot

My comment:

I liked that; I'm not sure why.
December 11, 2009 - 01:09AM

My first friend : Placebostudman
Amanda - REALLY?? You were so...ummm...quiet. Let's just say I'm glad you're chattier now. :-)
My first comment : Oct 09 - Wow. Thanks, Kathy.

Second comment : This is shrieking.

Shit, that was a mistake.
Kim - Is it OK if I'm giggling? I like #2 - I don't know why...I think I need therapy.
What a great idea OM - which doesn't surprise me in the least!
Angela, thanks for the wonderful open call and that was very nice of you to list my post up above. I think this is one of those rare moments on OS when a change to the user interface has generated such interest and so many posts related to discoveries made possible by the new and improved user interface!
Giggle away, but she came at me with sexist misogynist crazy mf'n pig. I was off to a flying start, my goodness. It's a wonder I'm still here.
You are one of the reasons, anyway, outside yourself. Glad I am.
This is such fun, Angela! Has that "activity" feature always been here? I didn't know about it until you showed me how to do it tonight. And man, I've made a LOT of comments--like 50+ pages worth! Eek!

But my first one was: "T&D--I've been reading here in OS-ville for many months but haven't had the nerve to comment on anything before this. I've read all of your Mom posts--and laughed and sometimes cried and thoroughly enjoyed each one. But THIS one's the best by far! I can feel the love you have for each other oozing out between the words.

I woke up this morning thinking about my mom (she died 3 years ago) so this hit close to home for me. She was pretty funny sometimes, too, and often got those pithy old sayings mixed up: She was going to "turn into a new leaf" or something she said had gone "in one ear and gone tomorrow." But sometimes, when I'd done something good (rarely) or my sibs had done something stupid (frequently) she'd say, "Sometimes I wish I'd stopped when I had you." (I used to dream about being an only child!)

So thanks for this. May I join the others in wishing you and Mom a wonderful Mom's Day!
Yarn Over May 9, 2009, to Tequila & Donuts (aka Deven McKay) about her Mother's Day memories.

Thanks for suggesting this--it's obviously hit home with many of your friends! D
The first comment I made on someone else's post other than my own apparently was Saturn Smith's November 18, 2008 post, "Calling All Interesting Conservatives." Saturn wrote about the NYT's year-long Bill Kristol experiment/disaster. Saturn tossed some names out as to whom should replace Kristol.

"George Will can be independent and thoughtful. However, as evidenced by his interpretation of the history of capital investment during the Great Depression on last Sunday's "This Week," Will's "thoughtfulness" can quickly become "historical revisionism."

I'll toss in a name that may not as familiar - Steve Chapman. Chapman's a libertarian and has been on the Chicago Tribune's editorial board for 20+ years. I certainly don't agree with all (or even most) of his positions, but he writes and argues in a straightforward, clear manner. And even surprises me at times. To his credit -- again, arguing from a libertarian point of view -- Chapman has been a harsh critic of the Iraq War and the Bush Administration's abuses of power."
I remember that comment well. And yes, your life has changed remarkably for the better. I'm glad.
March 19, 2010 01:07AM
Responding to a Lady Miko post I typed this:
“Art, laughter and orgasms. Abstracted absolutes of the truly powerful.”
Easy in was on Apache Savage's "http://open.salon.com/blog/apachesavage/2009/06/15/daddy"

True today as ever.

"Good read. Rated. Even tough guys can cry. Long time OS lurker, first time commenter.

This really got to me. My mother and I had a similar dynamic to you and your father. She passed away going on ten years ago this August, also from cancer related complications. I don't regret much in my life, but I do regret times I should have spent with her.

Losing a parent forces you to confront your own mortality, it takes away a special person in your life, a person who has helped make you who you are.

Unfortunately the place that retains those special memories of a parent, now also includes pain.
Take care of yourself, there will be a day when the special memories stay and pain diminishes."

The rest is available for view. . .
i'm so glad you posted instructions. i *never* would have clicked on that "activity" button otherwise -- and look! at what's there! great idea, angela. i've loved reading everybody's comments here, listing their comments. they're all so very *them*, aren't they?

my first comment on someone else's post was Silkstone's Porn for Women: Sex with Context (15 examples) which got an EP. i wrote:

"Terrific post.
Don't think anyone mentioned this film: The Postman Always Rings Twice. Jack Nicholson and Jessica Lange. On the table. Scathingly hot. There's something about kitchens..."

(sigh) this will be my legacy, i'm afraid: it's always about sex.

sparking - Don't make me come to your blog and get your first comment...! ;-)

designanator - It really has been a source of discussion, even between me and Smithery, so I figured some walks down memory lane were inevitable. And I love reading the thoughts of others...

Kim - I'm all for standing tall. Good on ya.

YO - Hi, D. What a lovely first comment. It's been very interesting how many posts about parents have made some folks come out and comment or post. I'm glad you came by here - I always feel at peace when you do.

stim - I didn't know you were such a serious guy. :-) And you jumped in on a political post, didn't get eaten and spit out, and continued to stay at OS. Amazing.

Emma - You and me both. I hardly remember that me...

mr Faekes - Welcome! Lady Miko has a way of drawing people in, doesn't she? Always something interesting going on over at her blog!
Wanderer - My sweet, special friend. I'm so sorry that your first comment was due to such a circumstance, but I'm so very glad you are here on OS. And your post today was beautiful. Don't ever leave.

Cindy! Are you scaring away the newbies??? I find that verrrrry hard to believe. She was probably intimidated by your remarkable talent!

femme - I'm laughing because my first comment was soooooo about NO sex! HAH! I did not read that post, but I may have to go back now that it won't make me depressed. :-)
Had you not explained I wouldn't know how to look for it. I do remember the post as the one that got me to OS. The incomparable Beth Mann wrote a post that had me thunderstruck. Well, just read the erm...title and it is sort of evident. But heck, what a lovely piece of writing.

here's the comment:

.November 08, 2009 01:58PM
“Excellent prose. Love the economy of words.”
About: In Bed with the Devil (One Last Time)
Vanessa - Amazing how her titles aren't just false advertising, huh? There's always something to back them up. I'm glad hers got the ball rolling for you - you're a lovely presence here on OS.
My first would bore a buzzard off of a gut wagon, so I'll give you this one a month after my first before I morphed to Boomer Bob
from http://open.salon.com/blog/denis_faye/2008/12/10/the_great_easy_fiend_humiliation_contest#comment_151157

It was the first open call I'd seen and it was all about a humiliating moment (of which I have so damend many):

I can identify, somewhat, with Sarah.

A few centuries ago, I was a young, fit (although quite naïve) Okie on a two-year adventure as a Mormon missionary. With a King Kong sized libido, I looked forward to every opportunity to “converse” with the California girls I had newly discovered. Wow, what a variety of beauty.

As missionaries, we were often asked to speak to the congregation about one thing or another and as missionaries, we took full advantage of that opportunity. You see, in that particular religion, guest speakers were similarly arranged as guest speakers for business occasions; each speaker on the “stage” behind a podium facing the crowd awaiting their turn to speak, so we had ample opportunity to scope the chicks.

Moments prior to this particular Sunday’s service, I strolled up to the church, spoke with a few of the congregation, entered the building, went to the restroom, got a drink of water and spoke to a few more members of the congregation. Then the time for the service was at hand, so I, the other guest speakers and the church officials took our places behind the podium.

As the service began to unfold, I notice a gorgeous young teenage girl in the crowd before, me smiling directly at me. I thought to myself; “now this is going to be a really fine day.” I actually have California girls staring at me and smiling. Yep! California is the place I’ll spend the rest of my life; eternal life will have to be put on hold for a few years.

It soon became my turn to speak, so I stood and approached the podium. As I spoke, I noticed that the California teen was talking to yet another local beauty, and the best part was that they were both looking right at me. Man! California certainly lived up to it’s reputation.

I finished my speech, turned around and returned to my seat and as I sat, facing a congregation of about 300 people, I saw a quick flash of white coming from somewhere in my lap. I looked down, only to find that my zipper was still in the down position from the previous trip to the restroom. There were still more speakers to be heard, so the only thing I could do was to zip my pants in front of the now giggling teens and the rest of the congregation.

So much for studly Bob and King Kong! Those California girls quickly transformed from secret admirers to a source of devastating embarrassment. To this day, 37 years later, I never go into a public setting without checking my zipper. I’ve even had people look at me sort of bemused for that, so the humiliation lives on, but my zipper will always be at it’s appropriate position before the public sees me.
P.O. - It only takes one time...! (Stifling a giggle...) (OK, I'm kinda laughing... :-) Leave it to you, B...so charming!
Femme : Kim G @0ptusnet. com
I posted a comment to mypsyche's blog:


"I am new to OS and I stumbled upon a chapter of the story, but it was out of order. Shocking everyone in a 4 cube radius, I started bawling onto my keyboard. I saw there were other parts to the story so I began to search frantically to find out what happened to your BoyChild and why he was in the hospital. I read everything I could find in a pulp-nonfiction style until I was able to assure myself that the 18 year old mentioned in another post was in fact, the same 15 year old BoyChild I had left, unresponsive, in a hospital bed just moments ago. Your story has rendered me completely unproductive this afternoon, but I had to comment and tell you how beautiful and painful I find your story, and reassure you that I'll continue reading every part."

p.s. if you haven't read BoyChild's story, you should.
On my Activity page 37, on Nov. 18, 2008, I wrote, obviously ass-kissing, to Lisa Romero (where are you?), “Brilliant--part community memory, part reference librarian! You do your peers a great service.”

This was about a post entitled, "Recovered Salon: The 40+ Best OS Stories You Never Read."

Interestingly, she received an Editor's Pick for that post, something you would not likely see today.

Lisa's most recent post occurred on Oct. 1, 2009. I miss her.