Oh, finally the truth is out! Everyone is waging a war on women: the GOP, Obama, Congress, Susan G Komen, Planned Parenthood, the Catholic Church, the Mormon Church, other churches, Warren Jeffs, Hollywood, Tucker Max, the media, Islam.... everyone but Oprah and your mother.
Personally, I don't care if Mrs. Romney has ever worked a day in her life. Since she doesn't need to, it's a good thing she hasn't taken a high paying position out of the hands of another woman who may need to, and obviously she doesn't want to or she would. She speaks from a rare place of privilege and choice, and that is also her business. Unfortunately, she doesn't understand that she is no longer the role model she grew up to be. Everything she dreamed as a girl that she has achieved to be a high status, successful wife and mother is no longer impressive to everyone. We have watched Downton Abbey in fascination because it is so anachronistic with respect to gender and social structure. Perhaps because we can see that money should not equal the power that is always has and always will. Perhaps because we know that aspiring to be her (or women like her) is either irrelevant or impossible for most other women in the US. I don't diss on her achievements- but they are not mine.
I am an educated woman, self paid and self made. I have no husband to support me, no children to devote myself to, and no one else's spotlight to hold for them. I also work, pay taxes, and expect equal and fair treatment at every turn. Not because I am a woman, but because I am a person. I have shirked the historical definition of what a woman should be in favor of the personal definition of the woman I want to be. How hard is that to figure out, fellas? I don't define myself by my relationships to men or my reproductive status.
In my world, marriage is still a good idea and people like a good match. There's a catch, though. If there are no children, or sufficient financial incentive to do it, it is also not a requirement for social or professional success. I am not trying to join the Women's League or the PTA. I have known many women who are bright, educated, and professional until marriage and children pull them out of the game. It is a difficult place to be, with many obligations in turn. Half of them were forced to step up and get back in the game when economics made it impossible to stay at home.
Adaptability, flexibility, and communication make this work. Not strict gender roles and authoritarian relationship models. Of course, those are making a comeback these days as more and more couples seek out alternative lifestyle choices to make their marriages work. Like reenacting traditional and biblical mandates for male dominance and female submission. Even when the woman is the breadwinner. Thankfully, Mrs Romney hasn't been forced back into the job market. What a kerfuffle would that be?
Who makes me feel like a natural woman? I do. I can compare and I can self negate, I can be bitter or I can choose denial, and I work hard every day to NOT follow the status quo when it comes to self respect. I don't think I need to look or act like a pornstar to have a satisfying sex life, and I don't think I need to look or act like June Cleaver to have a valid relationship and good family life. I dress for myself, and I like to look nice. It makes people respond well to me, but I don't spend much time wondering what they think about it. It's par for the course in the professional world. I look at good, solid marriages around me and hardly any of them involve the Traditional American Marriage - even if outward appearance implies it. Each and every one has had a relationship tested by problems that were handled not by the wife's appearance- but by her fortitude, confidence, and respect from her husband.
I imagine any of them would prefer to be a Michelle Obama to an Ann Romney. Me, I don't want to be anyone but myself. Is that so bad?