O'Really?'s Blog

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DECEMBER 27, 2010 11:48AM

Doing an About Facebook

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It all started out innocently enough.  Girl (that would be me) meets social media (in this case, Facebook), posts profile, provides as little info as necessary, downloads some nicely retouched photos, acquires some friends, comments on a couple of items that make her giggle and then goes about her life. Every so often, she (still me) logs in to wish a happy birthday to every person she has never met someone whose voice she would recognize and on the odd occasion, updates her status with cryptic messages that verify she’s still vaguely interested in all this crap breathing.

Then all hell breaks loose.

People start “tagging” me.  Whether it be by photo or out of curiosity, I am asked to answer questions about my taste in music, reading habits, dental hygiene or what recipe I most resemble (whatever it is, it’s hot, sweet and spicy, but thoroughly an acquired taste).  People tell me what the tarot has in store for them, offer minute by minute, detailed updates about their rectal exams, beg me for imaginary shoes or tools or god knows what garbage they need for games like Farmville. 

I’m disturbed by the fact that Facebook is now starting to look like it’s a full time job for too many some people.   It makes me wonder if they are gainfully employed or if their employers unknowingly pay them to waste this much time talking about every little detail of their lives while they talk about four weddings and the funeral they will be attending.

Frankly, it scares me.  And honestly, it’s not that interesting.

I receive invitations to events that are nowhere near my time zone and email messages imploring me to “like” or “join” or “share”.  Suddenly, I find myself feeling like I’m in playschool and big old Barney is going to come traipsing into my cyber life.  “I love you, you love me” puke.

If I’m going to get tagged or poked, please let me feel it.  And please let it be by someone who is actually there a really good kisser.

I am not cut out for such things. 

I blame James Cameron and Leonardo DiCaprio for turning everyone into the king of their own world, if only in their imagination.  While flying the other day, I was fully prepared for passengers to begin verbally “updating” their statuses because they are so addicted to over sharing and need to stay connected with everyone every single second of the day. A two-minute verbal Faceairplane feed might look something like this:

Sue D is going to the bathroom.

Ralph Jablonsky likes this.

Max Stein is now friends with 34D.

32A does NOT like this.

Joyce Q and Wyatt Arp have joined the Mile High Club.

Captain Smilovitz was tagged in a photo that was taken by the TSA.

Is this what we are?

I now have almost 350 “friends” on Facebook.  I can honestly say I haven’t conversed with or met more than half of them.  I wouldn’t recognize them in a police line-up or out in public without their names clearly written underneath their photos.  If only it would fit onto a bumper sticker, I might devise one that reads, “Friends Don’t Let Friends Share on Facebook.”

It’s absolute madness.

If somebody could please explain why I want to roll out a long personal carpet throughout the course of a day and share intimate details about my life or read about a complete stranger’s sleeping habits, mean boss, kid’s latest trophy awarded for waking up and breathing or dog’s irritable bowel syndrome, I’d appreciate it.

My new year’s resolution is to do a complete about Facebook.  I’m halfway there.




Because frankly, I have more important things to do.

Like write my life story on Twitter.

You can follow me if you want, but thankfully, you can’t tag me.

Unless you’re a really good kisser.




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My dog just threw up all over the carpet. I decided not to put the photo on FB. ;-)
of course 34D is going to be friended and 32A won't like it

I want that sticker.
I'm with you on FB O'R. I joined a couple of years since everyone I knew in my professional circles were at it. Soon enough I got piles of "friends", some of whom were actually so in real life. It does have a nice benefit of recognizing FB "friends" you've never met when you attend the same social function.

But soon enough I had the same reactions you have. Now it's a monthly or so habit. The novelty has certainly worn off. Thanks for another witty post.
I seldom went on FB . Only to post my blog. Now with OS members on there I feel bad if I do not go on there at least once a day and see what they are up to. I hear ya,
Rated with hugs
Ha! My daughter informed me I "don't need to 'like' everything on FB." Who knew? I'm old and "shouldn't be using the internet anyway." ~r
NO to Kindle.
NO to Facebook.
NO to Sharing.

YES to Books.
YES to Faces.
YES to Privacy.

Oh, and yes to kissing!
Funny... now if only there was a Facebook for hermits-- no photos, no personal life crap unless you want...just writing your thoughts, just noble ideas (heehee)....Oh, yeah. We're here : )
Do I dare "like" this post on Facebook? Excellent and true.
Come my friend. Join me in the Facebook Resistance. We are a happy folk, with plenty of time to paint and draw and make zee kissy kissy.
Haven't quite figured out Facebook yet. Sure, I have three million friends, but I don 't know what to do with them..
Give me some paper, an envelope and a stamp. I'll contact my friends one at a time thank you.
I am happy to be tagged for kissing. Doggie IBS is TMI for me.
One thing I do love about Facebook is finding people with whom I have lost touch.
Ha. It is fun within its or your constraints. Ha.
I do get it I have one lady who I do love from work but she posts more pictures of her son every single day. I like and go on.....But yea some folks are very prolific over there....not that there is anything wrong with that!
I had to turn of the ones who invited me to church every Sunday, I already survived my parents once...r
You mean you don't want to know about my dog's trophy for irritable bowel syndrome? He was really proud of that one. You don't know what he went through to get that one. Or maybe you're better not knowing....
So you didn't like my entry on my dog's IBS? I thought you did. I'm crushed.
Great comedy of manners. FB, Twitter (all social media) can be used for good or evil. Choose wisely!
"Is this what we are?"

Uh, yes. Pathetic isn't it? McPeoplesoftheEarth.

BTW: Joyce Q and Wyatt Earp posted a porn video of their tryst on www.milehighdoggiestyle.com
Angry Monkey likes Twitter, he posts about his potty time on there, and strangely my previous employer is following him. :D
I agree about FB, but I really like it for relatives who don't live nearby and a few good friends. I defriended everyone else when I realized I was reading things about their lives that I found embarrassing. I kept thinking, "do they know I can see this?" No discretion at all.
A quick glance at the oversharing which has become the rule rather than the exception on this site makes Facecrack seems mild by comparison.
Excellent:) So, so excellent!
There's a wonderful and apparently little-used feature on FB that allows one to "ignore all posts" from selected users. I make great use of that little "x" and it has made all the difference in my FB time. That and the fact that I cull my friends list with regularity.
But, yeah, I hear you on this. I wrote a similar post about 2 years ago on another site.
Pretty much nailed it. I just posted the lamest thing on there that anyone could possibly type (and I'm not proud of that fact). We setup a business page and you have to have a personal profile now to do so and I was hooked again. The good news though? I get to see more of OS'rs than I used to because I can just pop in there and I don't have as much time here.

Anyway, on and on about me...sorry. Great reflection about the blandishness of social media. Still trying to figure out the merits of it for business purposes.
Why Twitter and not FB? The whole thing is getting out of hand. I have taken to calling my non-virtual friends "flesh friends."
I can't stand Facebook. And i've read about some real problems for the people using it as a service to stay connected, how their security may be in jeopardy. Don't know if it's been changed since last I heard, but I am aware that, at one point, one's settings for privacy could be dickered with and/or forfeited, depending on the focal point featured at any "friend's" spot.
I found that truly lousy/poorly thought out/poorly maintained--take your pick/all 3.
I like my own private life as private. And I can stay in touch with others via phone just as easily.
I mean, when did it stop being "fashionable" to simply keep in touch via phone with voice mail?
As fads come and go, I predict the Facebookian scene will scatter to regroup when the very next thing to keeping unreal tabs comes along.
*hacks up old hairball marked "cyber enthusiasm for the inane"*
I came to the same conclusion about the same time I signed up for Facebook. Mostly if I want to contact someone I do it as a messge rather than posting where anyone else can see it.
Love the idea of the bumper sticker. you can sell them on Facebook..oh wait a minute...
Do you ever get the feeling that the more connected we become the lonelier we become? This was great.
i go there and click or upload or read or whatever sporadically -- sometimes a lot, sometimes a little or none for days -- and it all seems to be OK, whichever. but now that i've read Unbreakable's little tip in these comments, i feel like i have a cool hidden weapon. plus, P: cull the list. i only friend people i actually know after *not* doing that in the beginning and winding up wondering who the fuck some of these people were.

kisses, FB friend. ;
32A doesn't like anything.
Interesting note: I just went and checked and my feed on FB consists of only my kids, mostly OS friends and a small smattering of old friends (they're not old, the friendships are!) Shhhhh! Don't spread it around.
My son blocked me on FB.....that little brat. Why would you block your mother?!? :)
Good, Great, Great-er.

I'm in agreement.
Grif is headed out to dinner!
Great post, but darn. I was going to start a photo retrospective of my herbs not growing...

Thankfully, Facebook is only tracking and selling info about my every move amongst OS orphinks without informing me.

Watch out for this: If you go to a website that has a Facebook widget, facebook is collecting information about your visit to that website.

You can get "Facebook Disconnect" for that.
Wow, you know Ralph Jablonsky? I know RJ!

I was on facebook for about thirty days before I yanked my profile and rolled up the welcome mat. It's too much.
Personally I blame James Cameron for the coming apocalypse. Which, by the way, will be in 3-D.
I opened a FB account because I was prompted to by a friend. I just haven't been able to tap into the magic that so many feel about the place. I just don't get it.
But then how can we cyberstalk our young adult relatives?
"Well, had chicken breast for dinner at 5:06. will turn in at 9:07..."
....so, I do hear ya, I hope you might turn an ear (eye) this way
My cat won a cup for waking up and breathing, but she doesn't seem to care much about it. =o)

I didn't fall for it. I just use it to spy on everyone else. (maybe you...haha)
Darling, I'd like to think I had some influence on this [but I know I didn't].
I will never join facebook. For all of your reasons listed above.
So, here's my take on this: People should just do what they want. But we don't need to criticize others for doing what they want. I just sat through a family event where the FB-know-nots (no personal experience with Facebook) sat around criticizing FB, saying things like "Why would I want to know that Susie Smith just ate a pan of brownies?" he he, snark, snark.

My problem with that is twofold:
(1) They have reduced Facebook to one thing, which it is not. Connecting with family members, sharing links, alerting members to events, showing great pictures,etc., are additional reasons to use FB.
(2) But about that one thing: Sure there are people who post what some consider mundane content. But who is anyone to judge? Perhaps posting about having scarfed down a pan of brownies (which I can attest via personal observation is precisely the kind of status update that generates several comments almost instantly) is just a way of inviting engagement, assuaging loneliness. It might, in fact, be the work of someone with a lot of time on his or her hands, someone who is not but wishes to be gainfully employed, or someone without a spouse or children or good neighbors. I remember Ann Nichols once wrote something here on OS about not judging people who played FB games. I walked away from that thinking differently. I used to mock those games myself, and Ann's post reminded me who the hell am I to judge what other people consider a valuable use of their time? An acquaintance once interrupted my recounting to a group something I'd read in the newspaper with this: "How in the world do you have the time to read the newspaper?" and it was not said with admiration. I walked away feeling bad, feeling like I wasn't "busy enough."

Anyway, I do get the notion that backing off can be a good thing. I sometimes ignore the carbon beings in my own family room to chat with virtual strangers. That just can't be a good thing. I'm just attempting an answer to your question about why people do what they do on FB. Honestly, I think FB has so revolutionized socialization that we will, all of us, find ourselves moving back and forth throughout our lives in and out of "Facebook phases" depending on whatever else is going on in our lives. I think FB is a natural hole filler.
I had my first email account (for writing jobs, via "usenet") in the early '80's.

Email has evolved to where I need it: I keep in touch with far-flung friends, see pix, and everything is between us, unless *I* choose to forward the discussion to other friends. I recently had a discourse with a friend that ended up on Facebook-----me asking that her funds donated (with a lot of pressure) to an animal surgery here in San Blas that didn't happen, go to my upcoming Spay/Neuter clinic instead--------and I have no idea how to delete this discussion on Facebook. She felt that asking the recipient to donate the unused cash to my clinic might cause "hurt feelings."

My clinics are free to the community here in San Blas (aka, "Bumfuck, Mexico") but cost me $2,000 US each, and that $400 US would be a HUGE boost...........but the Facebook exposure of my request screwed me out of it.

Facebook is just plain stupid. 90% boring shit. And don't even get me started on Twitter. I do not give a rat's ass what anyone is doing (unless it involves fabulous, unknown new sexual acts or great things to make with Jicama) and as a writer all of my life-----I paid the bills for 25 years as a whore writer with constant editorial constraints------I surely don't want the character limitations if I have something interesting or fun to write about. And I have never *ever* seen anything interesting or fun that anyone else has tweeted..........idiots, all.

Another Huge Piss: People that post at OS and use "texting" abbreviations should be........jeeze louise, I want to say, "knocked upside the head," or even, "taken out and have their keyboards shot," but that's just me. Abbreviations must ONLY be used when needed.......and if you cannot determine if your writing forum has limited character requirements, or if you are innately lazy (and clearly stupid) go somewhere else.

End of rant. (But rated your post, as always, sweetheart.)
The author Kurt Vonnegut said that we were telephoners. I am inclined to agree.
It's cynical, hypocritical, exaggerated and funny but I can identify with every carefully familiar thought and word (crossed through or not) I'm almost embarrassed to become a follower but I suspect I'll do it anyway.
HA! and triple ha

I started backing off Fb anbout 4 months ago. I post, ignore, ignore, comment a bit, ignore 10x, like a few, ignore 20x...

"And honestly, it’s not that interesting." FB is primitive and too controlled to be a real life enhancement, in its present state.

I think I lost interest when I read that a "friend" I could not remember posted that she was making rice for dinner. Rice. For dinner. Announced. My eyes locked, time and space became distorted and wondered if it was too late to join the Foreign Legion, or if I could just wander north til I found an abandoned cabin to dwell in lo the rest of my days.
I was guilted into joining FB by my brother...then I discovered the rest of the family. Odd, I had thought them all lost or dead. I knew no one would tell me if one DID die, so it wasn't an off-the-wall assumption. So I friended all of them just to annoy them. Then I found people from another blogsite..like Flowerchild who commented here. Next thing I knew, I , like her, began contacting old High School classmates for our approaching reunion.
Somehow that led me to be duped into starting a whole NEW page for alumni and friends of said high school. That now has almost a thousand members. And I apparently imprinted them all, like baby ducks, and am now their mommie. It isn't pretty.
Now I can't say ANYthing I really feel. I just keep that virtual smile slapped on my face and try to nod--er "like" in the expected places.
Meanwhile, I've sneaked over here. Shh. No one knows..
Thanks for a great chuckle!
Oh I am so pleased I never facebooked, tho my now 21 yr-old son insists he badgered me into it when he was yet a tween. i haven't even looked to verify.
This is selicious fun! r.
I knew that Facebook was going to be a problem when a tile setter that I work with posted that he "was at the store getting milk." When I replied that his post interrupted my masturbation session (I was kidding... kind of) he replied, "Whoa dude, too much information." But the fact that he let all of us know that he was at the store was somehow just the right amount of information?

Congrats on the EP!