There are writers and there are writers. Some get paid and some don't. Some are good and some are not. Don't believe for a minute that all good writers get paid and those who are not good don't. You don't have to have a Ph.D. in English literature to figure that out.
Lately it's been harder and harder for me to write. With the exception of non-sequitirs, I haven't had much to offer. Not even the usual drek many of you have stopped by to read, and for the unfortunate few who are fans, expect to find.
I don't have the Great American novel to write. I don't even have the Lesser Antillies novel to write. It's nothing I aspire to do. I haven't had much inspiration, either.
I'm stuck in Molasses. Dead in the water. Becalmed. Awash in inertia. The well appears to be dry. Now, I just used up my last cliche.
I think I need a homework assignment in writing. From you. Please give me a suggestion.
Finally, please tell me about a chapter in a book you'll never write.
My example: Exciting Mathematics Teachers I have had.
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Christine Macdonald
Dianne Schuch - Lindsey
Jacob Sugarman
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Beth Ingalls
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For me, the chapter I will never write is: "Why?"
1. My Cubicle. My Self
2. Today I Raised My Bicycle Seat
3. NASCAR and Marcus Bachman
4. Making the World Safe For Bad Software
5. It's Not You Oprah. It's Me.
6.You're Once. Twice. Three Times Santorum.
7.Love Me. Love My PAC.
8.I Made Up Global Warming.
9. Smarmy Money: My Virgin Voyage
10. I'm from Human Resources. And I'm here to help you.
The chapter is "Vacations" and it is found in the book "Your Low Stress Guide to Having Teenagers!"
Roger -- These are just too funny. thanks for the inspiration. May I mix and match? Making the world safe from Marcus Bachmann?
Keri h -- You may have missed this post http://open.salon.com/blog/oesheepdog/2010/04/07/a_microcosm_of_america_in_a_59_mile_train_ride. I will write another post about Connecticut.
Joan -- Thanks, but you are much more talented than I.
It's something I ask myself every darn day.
HUGGGGGGGGGGG
Also, if you're looking for inspiration, the OS Weekend Fiction Club offers a writing prompt every week. If you're interested, please feel free to search for us on OS or you can contact me, if you like.
Good luck getting past writers block - it's a bitch, I know!
How about...
-Moments of sincerity
-Worst items to put in a fondue pot
-People I wish I knew better
-A blush-worthy moment
-Least inspiring news stories
Pastry Chefs of the NHL
"I was a Teenaged Republican" (Look, I was young, reckless and rebellious....)
Easy Electrical Engineering for Toddlers.
Why I Pamper the 1%
That'll be enough to be getting on with!
"My Dark and Stormy Night with Bill Clinton"
My chapter: The day that all of the Miss Universe contestants mistook me for George Clooney.
He lined all the boys up on one side of the room and all the girls on the other. Then he told us to walk towards each other. His point was that mathematically we would never meet but realistically we would be close enough for all practical purposes.
Emphasis on 'enjoy'...
Oh, wait; Nicholson Baker already wrote that one.
My life as a dog: A human perspective
:D
THE TOILETS I HAVE DRANK OUT OF, OR THE ONES I DID NOT, AND WHY!
:D
My chapters:
THE NIGHT I SLEPT WITH RON PAUL
:D
This advice from a poet/writer friend has seen me through those times when there seems to be nothing but dry sand in my heart and soul. His advice: "write something every day; occasionally you will write something."
As for the chapter of the book I'll never write:
Sensual ways to wax your girlfriend's chest.
The night Kenny G opened for Iron Maiden
When Angelina chose me over Brad
Some chapters I will never write:
Why did God create ticks? and other burning questions that will never be answered.
Has your [fill in the blank] been whispering to you in the night?
The scariest, funniest, most boring, meanest, [fill in the blank].
My Top 10 Pet Peeves about [fill in the blank...probably more than once!
I enjoyed your open call! Hope your creative juices begin to flow soon!