Foolish Monkey

Foolish Monkey
MAGIC TOWN where the old never die, Connecticut,
January 31
*************************** "I find that I am so excited I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain" -Red in The Shawshank Redemption by Stephen King *************************** WARNING: I like to noodle. can't resist. and once is never enough either. ***************************

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MAY 4, 2012 3:26PM

OPEN CALL: gettin' back to tits and ass American Style

Rate: 24 Flag

This is an expansion of my comment in response to a great piece by Jeanette Demain, that started it all titled:  Breasturants, Hypocrisy and Sexual Kitsch.  Phyllis suggested this as an OPEN CALL: so I'm comin' at you.  OPEN CALL: from toddlers to women, getin' back to that good old fashioned American Style tits and ass pov!

You see I’ve noticed it too, the creeping creepy cultural nostalgia; that desire to stumble backwards on the highest heels ever engineered, to a dismal past that will be our daughter’s futures. 

We return to the glory days of Leave It To Beaver except in this incarnation, we're going porno style and sexually liber-fied into a world where our roles are to be grateful for any paycheck nomatter how degrading because the concept of degradation isn't really so bad anymore.  If it can pay the rent and in many cases, it does, then why not?

So glam up girlfriend, because if you're sufficiently winsome and superficially pliable you might be honored to make a living wearing supershort shorts and blouses open a button or ten too low,  all in aid of serving up some down home corporate food and suggestive banter, while using your breasts and ass as a platter. 

And show some gratitude, little woman! for we DO have the technology to keep you in the game, sort of young, almost, mostly forever.  Okay..not exactly young young, and more like kabuki young with your face frozen in a mask of clipped nose, bubble lips and modified cheeks and chin, a face so swimming in zombie botulism bacteria it won't even move when you speak.  

YAY us!  Can I use my MC or Visa?

The rest of our mess of normal physical aging can be smoothed and repositioned via shapers or spanx or support or – if we're moneyed and/or have an amazing credit line: dream it, slash and silicone and liposuction.   And how about having the old taint bleached or one's body tanned to leather?  We can have eternal youth, albeit bizarro "youth" and so far, it's sort of working, kind of, almost, maybe.  Squinting, it might be okay. 

I just saw a piece on “The Soup” where one of the ubiquitous cable "Housewives"  - who is in fact is nothing close to anybody's housewife,  rich, at least 50+ and skinny to the point of anorexia - was quote unquote entertaining a crowd, by doing (of all things) a very bad song and strip act.   

My first thought was why aren't the people in the audience storming around, demanding refunds? Then it occurred to me as the camera panned the room that if they weren't nibbling on a plate of hootered wings, all those groaning, cheering people in the audience looked like her: they were mostly “housewives" and "house men", maybe waiting a turn at this orgy of ramped up sexual humiliation.  Maybe kind of a shared, groupy grope therapeutic support event for middle aged former hookers and their former pimps and johns. 

It's big time Americans entertainment now: this degradation of women, young and old.  We sit and watch as they slug it out in restaurants and on dormitory floors, falling down drunk, foul mouthed, aggressive and violent, promiscuous, ignorant and crude, dressed in a mind boggling variety of too tight cocktail dresses.   Oh and lets not look away from baby beauty queens dressed up in stripper "costumes" with mommy coaching them on how to work a crowd.

Haven't you heard?  a girl can put herself through college working The Pole!  

And this is where we want our daughters to go: what we want them to think about, dream about, emulate, aspire to. And what we want our boys to dream of too:  this nightmare trip to the past without even the illusion of the respect or dignity the June Cleavers were given.  The respect our mothers and grandmothers demanded as “ladies”.  Okay it was an illusion but it was something.      

They demanded acknowledgement that they were worthy of respect, however paltry it was.  Society, culture, didn’t overtly treat women like pieces of garbage - behind the scenes, something else, but up front, we were treated "like ladies".   It's true, it was a sad little charade, but it made life a little easier and women felt there was redress and even decency in our shared understanding.   This was the deal: we were human beings and not gussied up platters of spicey little meatballs.

Today girls and women are told in a million different, creative and even stunningly subliminal ways, that in these difficult times the road to prosperity and security is to sell yourself and your body to the highest bidder. 

Prepare to step aside Kardashians...the future of America, our little women are being tutored to steal your market.  A million million spicy little meatballs, coming up!  

We accept and embrace dressing in too short, too tight clothing and stuffing feet into stilettos.  Again.   Cramming bodies into girdles.  Again.  Could someone please explain why?  Just explain it to me.  I won’t argue because how you want walk through your day is your business.  But I’d sure love to know how the daily torture of bone and skin is a good thing. 

We are sneaking back to a time where boys and men expect to remain indulged children, perpetually tasting and sampling girlywomen who are there mostly for them.  Yes women are beautiful.  And so are men.  And yes men will look, and so will women.   But what we're doing to women at this point is nothing less than pornographic objectification.    And like porn, women are not expected to expect an orgasm (faking will do) or getting anything out of it (except a paycheck).  But we are expected to look as if we're rarin' to go.

So here were are.  Again.  Still.  A culture where women are second class citizens waiting for men in power to validate us, to give us equal pay, equality, protection under the law and autonomy. 

And we are sold out, over and over again for one reason or another: politics, religion, what difference does it make?  our rights are still not ours. 

To me saddest of all is watching women sell us, themselves out, and worse, sell out all our daughters and granddaughters for the sake of financial and/or emotional security. 

Will it never, ever end?  



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Sadly, it is a sign of the times. R
I know. I'm glad I've lived the majority of my life. I worry for my grandkids. boys and girls.
you are quite right:
"It's big time Americans entertainment now: the degradation of women, young and old, watching them slugging it out"

why would that be so?
i dunno. i suspect a kind of backlash from the so called
"sins" of the

freedom and hard truth and sexual access offered, by women,
awhile ago, in that sexual revolution...........
such a long time ago..

men want their patriarchy. lasp gasp time for them.
we men are more clever than u think.
if we cannot subjugate wimmin
we can at least humiliate them.

what a mess.

I’d sure love to know how the daily torture of bone and skin is a good thing.

me too
I wondered aloud in a feminist group and some were saying O HOW I LOVE MY STILETTOS and I was kind of appalled, not that they did, but how they did every single day. It's like tuxes for guys. or cummerbunds or whatever..fancy shmancy stuff that wear on special occasions...but going to work, walking down stairs and over marble floors in 6" heels is to me, astonishing.

and what it does to the feet is nothing less than what the chinese did to their girls when they bent and bound their little feet.
Well, we have arguments about "shoes" in our house, too!

The difference is that THIS "June Cleaver" refuses to buy them their own Doc Martens until they stop growing a little bit.

('Course they keep threading to buy me shoes with something other than a 3/4" full heel for Chistmas, so I might relent out of fear).
I don't know when/if it will end, monkey. Sex sells. Have you ever watched "The Doctors". Mostly what they discuss on this 9:00 a.m. post-news program is how to have a hotter sex life, how women can look hotter and all other forms of being and staying hot. Good God! Stepford Wives Plus.
hahahahah...try and win that argument

kids are the ultimate consumers now. even tho they don't earn a nickle, they spend!
Erika, I know. it's everywhere. It's how we MARKET everything. EVERYthing is about sex and women being more sexual and looking more sexual and good grief, BAKING ourselves until we're crispy. I didnt even touch on that.
Foolish Monkey, I'm so glad you did this! I thought your comment was well worth expanding on.
Such a smart monkey you are. ~r
What bothers me is how willingly women submit to this nonsense after having been raised by those of us who fought to" de-objectify" ourselves for so long. I have never talked to a man who thinks lips like Lisa Renna's or cheek implants that create duckbill mouths were attractive. I do know one or two numb nuts who think breast implants are hot (shaking her head) but for the most part, I think men prefer real, like in everything!

Thanks Jeanette. I thought your piece was fantastic. It was easy to spring off from it...really.

And Joanie, thank you. you're a peach.
BTW, I hear tell that Joanie H. owns so many pairs of heels, Jimmy Choo makes personal home deliveries to her.

Just say'in. ;)
@Amy, I told you to stay out of my shoe closet.
Lezlie, it bothers me too. I think, women of child bearing age are in terrible danger of losing their rights to care, to choice, to equal pay (not that they get it...but there is a certain equanimity we helped to give them). It kills me.

but maybe they need to lose their rights in order to rise up to take them back. because once they can't go to planned parenthood because they've been defunded, and once our daughters are forced to bear those children they accidentally conceived (and that's a conception under the best of circumstances...there are no passes for incest, rape, etc), they will have to get up off their asses and FIGHT.

coincidentally I went to an awards luncheon and I hated wearing my shoes..and my heels are a relatively easy 2 1/2" ers. I hated it..being pushed forward like that. Sliding along on the marble floor, mincing my way. Good grief.
i have decided to embark on a project to de
objectify wimmin. it will be hard to do, cuz their images
are almost everywhere..but i shall do it..

you gals need to rise up so to speak
and demand rights so as not to be in heels..
no nice guy will invite ya for a walk on the goddamn beach
if you have those silly things on, after all.
i have decided to embark on a project to de
objectify wimmin. it will be hard to do, cuz their images
are almost everywhere..but i shall do it..

you gals need to rise up so to speak
and demand rights so as not to be in heels..
no nice guy will invite ya for a walk on the goddamn beach
if you have those silly things on, after all.
I no longer torture.. I live in ugly comfort on my feet
James, you'd be amazed at the ideas men get when it comes to women and high heels. compared to some of the things I've heard, a walk on the beach in em would be...a walk on the beach. ::wiggling eyebrows::
LInda, I'm with you. I wear some really sharp shoes and sandals. I look great, I feel great and best of all I don't torture myself. I can SMILE.
ah, i love this, monkey. i cannot say how grateful i am to not have a daughter. bc i would NOT have her walking around with everything hanging out by age 14, and by dint of that she would be an oddball. when i was little, we had little girl clothes, now we just have mini woman's clothes. little girls in knee-high motorcycle boots and minis. a thousand yucks. i am glad you wrote this - i dont know what the hope is for todays youth at all. how girls will grow up to be women demanding respect, or how boys will grow up to be men who even know what respectful behavior is.
thank you ms smithie.

I don't get why the crazies in the RW aren't demonstrating and writing letters about all the evil crap that's on tv now? they got their panties wadded up over Murphy Brown, but Jersey Shore is Okay? Housewives? Okay? Any number of a thousand degrading disgusting shows, from those beauty queen little girls, to the bad girls club...all okay, I guess.

No one cares, Janie. Our kids are fucked. Boys, girls it really doesn't matter. They're all grist for the mill.
Foolish Monkey: You know I tread carefully in these waters because I get so angry at much of this crap. I have, however, through my daughter and some of her friends come to see there is a culture of young women out there that do NOT take any of this shit. I'm holding out hope, I really am.

Have you ever read Ariel Levy's Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women & The Rise of Raunch Culture? You would probably find it interesting. I know I did.
Scarlett, I have not. But on your sayso, I will! I'm gonna go get some of that on my tablet. I need some feel good crazygirling. Like you, this depresses me to NO end.
@ Joanie H:

What you talkin about, woman? I've been out of the closet since I was 12! :D

Admit it, Joanie H! There's a REASON Manolo Blahnik named his kid Joan! (I feel sorry for that poor little boy!)
Oh Amy, you are shattering my illusions about joanie, my hippydippy earthshoe wearing dancer type woman. stilettos? my joanie? banish the thought~!!

Oh don't let Joanie fool you!

Sure, out in public she an uber competent, intelligent, charismatic educator of young minds who is adored and admired by both her students and their parents.

In private, she wears 8" heels, micro minis and dental floss underwear. She like Barbie on crack.

At least that's what I heard... Not say'in it 100% true... But....
I started a comment that turned into a post, so I'm putting it on my page. Maybe you should make this an open call. Very pertinent topic.
I'm starting to think that as we age and wisen, we realize that there are many more dumb people than we initiallly suspected.

Dumb men. Dumb Women. Dumb people just doing dumb dumb dummy things.

Loved your take here. You'd be fun to watch TV with.
I needed to use a picture to present my comment to this excellent post, so I had to make a post. I hope you will give it a look because it (sadly) illustrates your point in "real life."
I think it's a pendulum. When I was young the look was prissy, and now it's racy. Somewhere in my mid-years fashion and my age were in sync. Now I am so happy to remain invisible in my unspanked body and comfy flats.
my wife has always said,when i stop lookin, SHE'S in trouble.
@Amy~ Stop spying on me.
I actually love the look of high heels. Wearing them is another story.
FM: For the record, I would never, ever want to see a resurrection of the June Cleaver's of this world and if I use the word 'lady', it's to someone over 75-80. However, there's gotta be a middle-ground somewhere. And about that book, unfortunately it is not a fun, crazygirl read. Still, I think you will like it. Here's a quote:

"Raunchy" and "liberated" are not synonyms. It is worth asking ourselves if this bawdy world of boobs and gams we have resurrected reflects how far we've come, or how far we have left to go.

Put in this way, I don't think you will be taking up Strippercize or Pole Dancing to keep fit anytime soon, after reading it.
There are a lot of people who don't live this way, but they aren't on tv, in the news, in magazines, in movies because it's not interesting. It might be nice, but not interesting. So, don't give up. Just help your grandkids connect to the teens who are far more interested in friendships and equality and school and hobbies. They just aren't part of popular groups, so what?
Monkey my daughter and I have a few go rounds about some of this stuff. I hate the towering heels and she is a tiny girl so I think she likes them for the height but also thinks they make her look sexy. I wear boots for the most part, but I try to impart on her how foolish the stiletto platforms are and that whole notion. I guess the best thing is last week she asked me to go to the rally for woman's rights in DC, so her priorities are straight where it really counts. The sexualization of young girls and the whole princess movement for kids is disgusting, I refuse to buy my granddaughter any of that stuff. Good thoughts here Monkey, as per as Janie said.
I should have left for practice about ten minutes ago, so I'm going to answer your responses when I return. I managed to do one this morning, after reading all your comments.

You women are great! You men are great! Why aren't we making more children? Because look what the hell has happened to our country when we didn't!


What you say goes to the heart of this discussion: we are becoming a nation with too many visible, vocal stupids. I tend to think this is new, if only because I was raised at a time when education was a privilege, when it was something most everyone aspired to, for our children and for ourselves.

Now..I don't want to say it isn't any more, but what I AM seeing too much of is this business of being the center of attention and a "star" which is really about being rich and privileged (the easy way).

And since we've managed to figure fame and fortune isn't something that's going to happen to most of us tomorrow, many of our brightest bulbs are giving the Hilton Kardashian Method Of Sucking All the Air Out of the Room While Finding Fame, Fortune and Your Own Reality Show a go. This boils down to being so out there with a strong enough sexified look or something or other that titillates enough people, particularly if you look like you just made a sensational sex tape or if you DID and it involves your school principal, a local politician or scout troop leader or you've figured a unique way of inbibing your own body fluids (and share them), you WILL get that desired attention and pseudo fame.
For a while.
If you're lucky you'll figure out how to keep the momentum going.
If whatever you do manages to go viral, all the better even if it wrecks your reputation, your nutsack and/or credibility forever.

You go girl!! (or boy who has jackhammered his junk on youtube.)

I am a hoot! anytime you're in the tri state area and feel like watching tv with a glamorous curmudgeon, come on over.
I still remember how shocked I was when I read what happened to the women who wore a corset drawn up so small that internal organs were displaced Monkey way back when those things were fashionable.
Or the Egyptian women who painted their faces white with arsenic lead.
High heels remain in fashion because a woman such hobbled cannot run away....

I am a fan of bare feet and flip flops. Tennis shoes and socks for riding a bike to the store to forage for food...

comfortable clothes that fit and do not bind my body....

I worry about my two daughters too Monkey.
But hope they get it....
From the outside looking in over the years, it has been kinda breathtaking to watch women turn on each other in connection with the struggle for women's rights. Susan Faludi did an interesting essay on the matricidal nature of it a couple of years ago that examined these same phenomena that leave you shaking your head:
The next crop of young people coming out the chute are no different than we were. Young people display. Display means different looks at different times. I remember wearing some revealing peasant-wenchy blouses, when no bra was hippie de rigeur. Don't even want to remember hot pants. Ooops. Just did. And ironing my hair. That can't have been good.

Part of being older might be to worry about the young people and what they're up to, to mistake the natural naivete of youth as stupidity, to forget our own naive youth and view ourselves as always being as wise and experienced as we are now. I don't worry about young people. They are smart strong and innovative, and will be just fine.
I subbed at the high school yesterday and was amazed at the girls dressed like hookers in microskirts and blouses so low-slung they left precious little to the imagination. I asked one of them if she hadn't been measured for her skirt length, as I remember when the School Board approved a dress code that expressly prohibited such distracting dress, even prescribing an inch-limit for hem of skirt to knee. The girl laughed pleasantly and said nobody paid any attention to that anymore. What I found even more amazing was that the boys also seemed to pay no attention to these overt displays, so technically they were NOT distracting. The boys and girls who flaunted their intimate relationships, clinging to each other constantly, were dressed modestly.
i will do my open call tomorrow, cause i didnt realize it was open call when i wrote my piece today. but i will combine this open call with good news sunday. thanks, monkey!
An excellent piece! Let's just start with a walk through the shoes in style today. What the . . . this rant can go on and on.

If you haven't heard the name Jackson Katz please google. . . he is on a male crusade to stop this insanity. See the documentary Miss Representation, if you can. I could join the open call with a piece in the April issue of myJewishDetroit -- from Macho to Mensch. You can check it out at @myJDetroit.
Loves me some glamourous curmudgeons. It's date, the minute I get back to the tristate area(grew up in brooklyn and queens.)
look, I have full sympathy for your POV. these kinds of near rants, stream of thought, aimed-at-no-one-in-particular, battle of the sexes tend to do well on open salon. some of em even go viral. however, my question is, whats the solution? I know its ubiquitous. but really, [grumpy] men and women have been complaining about their respective roles since the dawn of time. now that is one thing that probably wont change. neither of us has it easy and that will probably not change for a long time, given human nature. also, I feel you should try to balance the concept of respect with sex positive; yes they are compatible, but sometimes the lines get blurry. strangely enough esp if one goes a long time without sex.
I don't understand the fashion with 4-6" heels. I see women "walking" around in them here in Austin. My feet hurt just watching them . They may think it makes them look "fierce" but I remember the women kicking off their heels to run away from the WTC on 9/11. However, when I was young I wore heels too and have the bunions and hammer toes to prove it. Maybe the more things change, the more they stay the same, especially in fashion. I've heard you're supposed to suffer to be fashionable - I just don't want to suffer because to me it's not fun anymore.
What a great write and we will still be diminished to being just objects to sell stuff. There is a fine line between wanting to look and feel fashionable and coming off a hunteress of sex. It is a mixed signal, even to women. I have found myself wanting to look attractive(sexy? I dunno!) but then I ask myself,"For what purpose?" So I dress for fun and comfort now. I still like heels for that special occasion, but not 6 in!
As I said on Jeanette's similar post, nothing wrong with a little rutting animal sex or even "normal" porn. But humiliating women for profit and pleasure, well, I just don't see the attraction.
Dear People,
Please do not break out the torches and the pitchforks. My son and his wife and two daughters and their new puppy came for a surprise visit and I ended up cooking a big dinner which included cleaning up after the new puppy. (who weighs 2 lbs and crapped half of that on my kitchen floor).

(he's a minature pomeranian)
(he looks like a cross between a squirrel and a wolf)
(i'm not kidding.)
(my big dogs made him scream)

okay. I intend to answer your comments tomorrow. even if it's just a thank you. PROMISE.

thank you.
time for bed. goodnight. :)
First SCARLETT... thank you. I read some of the amazon reviews of this book, which were articles in themselves. Wonderful. Thank you. At least I understand the statement. I am going to read it..I have it on my pick up when amazon lowers the nook price for it. Or I'll get it at BN. they're both charging too much for the DL version.
_________________________________ was great to read your post. You are absolutely correct and it was a simply put, beautifully illustrated point: that this girl evaluates herself, like...well, a market would if the market evaluated women (as if it doesn't!).

And what's so sad, is that girls are so unaware that while the market is evaluating how they look, it's also continuously evaluating her contributions to her community, and her potential.

She's going to have to be better than a boy in all respects, but she is still being evaluated in many ways. However her emphasis as with most young women is to value their appearance more than it's true worth.

And the reason she thinks this is because our culture is becoming rotten at it's core: it's superficial and routinely degradating both to women and to men. Its just that from the time children can lift their eyes to the world surrounding them and invading their senses: while females are treated like meat, males are encouraged to want to eat it. Neither benefit.
Lea...Maybe you're right and maybe it's as simple as the times. But with the global economy, as I see it, there is immense profit to be made from the industries marketing to women as tasty little meatballs: from designing mainstream restaurants and bars around their bodyparts to the clothing and makeup and contraptions, while marketing and creating a consumer culture AND to top it off, offering credit at usuary rates, I'd say this is more than a pendulum. I don't think it's conspiratorial, but every move in the direction of making women want to look like meat, makes someone a lot of money. So I don't think the pendulum is going to swing back. Because very generally speaking, men like it. And men control the power grid.


I'd like to imagine it's a little joke between you and maybe it's about your happy private life. but imagine if it were true, because in some cases, a LOT of cases for women it's their life, having men look at them: strange men, familiar men. doesn't matter. they better look sexed up. because it's their job, their relationships. imagine that.
Scarlett, the last thing I'd want is for us is that the only option for us is the June Cleaver option of tying on that apron and making a tray of cookies for The Men In Her Life. There's gotta be something more for everyone, men women, everyone.

I know about the terminology. My immediate thought was probably what women thought in the 8os when they started embracing this crazy sexed up ethic: that if you can be as sexy as any centerfold, hold the interest your man and STILL have it equality.

I don't happen to think it's that simple anymore. Oh..I think we can do what we want, which MIGHT be that, but I think we have to be careful about how this is being sold to our culture. Because the kids are lapping it up, this sex stuff, WAAAAY before they can handle it on a lot of level that are very destructive, IMO. So I'm with you (and I'll buy the book when I can get a better price on the DL, or when I stumble across the paper version.) (I prefer electronic books now)
"To me saddest of all is watching women sell us, themselves out, and worse, sell out all our daughters and granddaughters for the sake of financial and/or emotional security."

Infuriating as well as sad. I can only hope that I have instilled a sense of independence and strength in my own daughter that will carry her forward...
Rita, my hat woman...
There's nothing wrong with wanting to look sexy. Sexy has a very important place in our lives. But so does self respect. And dignity. And knowing how to present one's self without selling using one's body parts to land the deal. And that's what's being marketed in our culture, a crude misrepresentation of women, men, sex, sexual relationships and sexuality.

The sex act in it's myriad forms are wonderful, fun, crazy, even REALLY crazy. But the parts of our body we use for sex shouldn't be what defines us as whole people. It shouldn't be...

What we have now is a nasty characature of what someone thinks women SHOULD WANT TO BE, like that old Playboy serial "Little Annie Fanny". Except it's even cruder and more self destructive. And I never thought that was possible.

It's not the shoes. It's the woman wearing them. Your daughter seems to have her head on straight. The problem for her and for all our daughters is the people enjoying the view while evaluating the intent of the women wearing those damned things. Especially today.

If she can stand up straight in them, good for her. I used to be able to walk in spikes, but now, I can't even imagine it.
Did you know there are men who like to wear corsets? Yup. I've seen it. It's about sexual bondage. There's that giving up of power that is so sexy to the wearer...the tying up tight and's very sensual.

But then with sex AND exploitation - because thats where it becomes dangerous - binding to the point of danger, of hurting the body, of controlling another's movements and access to their life...that's when it's S&M.

If you consent to it, then well..that's your gig. It's a little nuts, but sometimes sex IS a little nuts.

But if you HAVE to do it in order to stay alive, like Chinese women had to bind their and their daughters feet, then it's something else again.

And that's it, isn't it? I read in one ofthese discussions a writer saying some women choose to work as strippers and I think to myself: of course they do. Some men and women choose a lot of ways of making money. But do they REALLY choose that?

And I don't look down on anyone, strippers, porn actors and prostitutes, all sex workers. But it's unfortunate work. And not something we would choose for our children.

And really, does anyone think for one minute that if they could afford to get the hell out of it, they wouldn't?
"breathtaking watching women turn on each other". Yeah, men seem to like it when women get all powered up and start smackin each other around.

look, this isn't about the "movement". I happen to respect them all, including susan faludi, but all that infighting leaves me bored stiff. it's like watching any political movement as the players jockey for power. Frankly, I could care less who is president of NOW. but she does. or did.

I have to laugh because at that time she had a stake in giving this impression: that "politics" in a WOMEN'S political group is somehow destructive. Or that particular president's politics. I guess she doesn't think some women should be political. My impression was she just didn't agree. Maybe she thought we should sit around and agree all the time and have a fucking coffee clatch.

And I JUST LOVE her use of the title "Medea". It's one of the reasons I can't sustain an interest in any political movement. They're playing for power. Who wins, wins. And what goes on behind the scenes is more important than what goes on in front, which is why I really can't be bothered.

I would venture to guess, most women feel as I do, which is one of two things: we don't care about those kinds of grandstanding shenanigans and we TRUST the sausage making is a necessary evil. Lately NOW doesn't thrill me. I hope it gets it's shit together.

Meanwhile women still want equality, haven't lost their desire for it, their impatience for it. That's what this is about.

We want equality for us, for our daughters and for the men in our lives. Equality means we all can share the burden along with the rewards. And it will happen. This is an uphill struggle but so long as there's a hill to be climbed, we'll keep climbing and squabbling as we do. We're too smart not to.
I agree about the looks. To me the attitude is worrisome, particularly the embrace and glorification of stupidity and crudity, ignorance and lack of interest. That's very worrisome, regardless of what they're wearing.


Chicken, your comment made me smile and almost hopeful. I wish the boys WEREN"T looking and I wish they girls would cover up those body bits but I'm afraid they will do what's popular. There's a rise in STDs among kids and it's because young girls AND young boys don't know what to do with all this sexualization EXCEPT to have sex. And they don't know how to handle it.
thank you much. AND I WILL. Just looked at his blog. I'll check out all your suggestions. AGAIN THANK YOU.


I think the point of your comment is you will "allow me my little rant" but as far as you're concerned I should have the solutions: ABCD, right down the line.
No. I don't think so. I realize these discussion are an EMBARRASSMENT to some people, who'd prefer to not speak too loudly about this issue. And what's worse, they HATE it when women do it themselves.

Except this kind of objectification I speak of is disturbing me because it's an IN MY FACE cultural matter. So I decided to tackle it when it was suggested I do.

And I hope others are equally disturbed. And worried. And willing to discuss it aloud. And hopefully continue discussing it even more specifically, openly. This is, after all, AN ADULT DISCUSSION I have initiated, not a forum for any monkey solution for fixing the world.

My solution if you're interested is talk. You talk about it at the table. You NEVER let a child tell you this crazy culture spin is acceptable. You tell them it isn't. You tell them what it's about: which is power and marketing. Your job is to explain the world to them. GET TO WORK!

Because in the end it's not about shoes or corsets or clothing or chicken wings. It's about how young people are being molded by every facet of the media: their self perception, what and who they are in this world, what they are expected to contribute. Yes, children being children is what they do, and making believe they know as much as adults is one of these things. But WHERE ARE THE ADULTS speaking up at the table to explain and clarify it?
Oryioki, I do. I'm a big discusser at the table. The kids know I'll tell them anything and I'll tell them straight. I think it helps them to know that there are adults who will speak the truth: that the world is perfectly willing to mold them into some kind of weird perversion of themselves.
CC, I see the point of them...they look great. but they're stupid.

and this brings me to Cindy....because I was smiling and agreeing with every word. sometimes I want to dress up, which is synonymous with heels to a certain extent. I have 2 1/2 - 3 inch heels and that's plenty high for me. those stilettos and some of them are platform stilettos and they are frightening.

I hyperventilate when I look at them, because they ARE very often fabulously ornate and really interesting and they look great, make the legs look so long, but then I THINK about what they feel like on. oh brother. first hour or so....okay...I'm still upright, I haven't fallen on my head but then....that creeping OW OW OWWWWWWWWwww oh lord please can I just take these the hell off for a while...and never put them back on again so long as I live dear heaven above can I get a cab and go the hell home!!!
well...that's it. it's 1pm here and it's almost stunningly beautiful out. a little overcast, a little cool and I"m itching to get out of the house and go forth and annoy the world with my me.

thank you for joining in this discussion. I doubt there's even one of you left reading all this sunday blathering of mine.

but I'm writing it nevertheless and saying thank you and I hope you have as lovely a day waiting outside for you as I do. and if not, cuddle up with a good book. or read my poetry. hahahahahah

adios. happy sunday.