APRIL 23, 2012 6:19PM

Morning In America? The Nanny State Index says YES

Rate: 12 Flag




The last time the economy was humming along on all cylinders, the country was gripped by an issue that struck adults as silly. 

President Bill Clinton got a blow job from an intern. And, lied about it. This was front page news for weeks.

And the Republicans decided to impeach him. Because they could do it.

Personally, unless the scandal involves a dead girl or a live boy, I am underwhelmed.

Yet the arbiters of public morality have nothing better to do than to attempt to jail people for  being naughty.

1. The United States of America v Johnny Reid Edwards:  John Edwards. Had sex. Lied about it. Now being prosecuted under Federal Election Laws for something. I can't even work up enough interest to check out the details. 

2. The United States of America v William Roger Clemens:

Clemens 'obstructed' Congress? WTF. I suppose it is a crime. The same tactic that is widely considered despicable when used by Sen. McCarthy to root out Reds (commies, not the baseball team) is being used to attempt to restore the 'integrity of the game' of Baseball. Why do I not give a fuck?

3. Secret Service agents paid for sex in Columbia. Where it is legal. Yawn. Fire their asses. After all, they are the fucking Secret Service. So, if they can't keep it a secret, then shame on them. 

4. Elijah E. Cummings is shocked and outraged that Walmart may have violated the  Foreign Corrupt Practices Act in Mexico. And is opening an investigation. Why does this not make me sleep better at night? This is in the wake of a criminal investigation.

Can't we just have a public shaming without hauling in the firepower of Justice Departemnt of the United States of America?

But don't despair. The bad news of national priggishness is simply an indication that there is really nothing better to talk about.

The equivalent of no news being good news. Unless anyone seriously thinks that lying about sex, drugs or business practices in Mexico are front page news.   


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Actually, it all makes perfect perverse sense: Congress investigates criminality and corruption -- aren't we told to set a thief to catch a thief?
the older i get, the fewer of my remaining moments i wish to waste on ridiculous crap like the examples you list. and when someone says something like 'but it's the principle of the thing,' i'd feel like slapping them if it wasn't so not worth the effort. great post, nick.

'A matter of principle' is generally a matter of self interest for the self identified principled one.

Congress has a great deal of institutional experience with lying, which makes them uniquely qualified.
Ain't it the truth...Pres. Obama is doing too good of a job, or at least doing a good job not making waves. Even the election cycle is a yawn. Actually, it's kind of nice.
Classic case of who guards us from the guards... i personally feel that any "prosecutor" at any time should be faced with a public call for his execution if the public finds him ( by simple majority vote) to be a public nuisance.( Think how many fewer ambitious politicians there would be)( oops- that sounds like anti government terrorist talk..... Actually they should just be suspended-- by the neck)
The leading cause of death in DC is standing between a congressional rep and the microphone used to question a testifying celebrity. They're all like lil' Mark Chapmans, seeking celebrity by assaulting one. Politics, then, is celebrity for ugly and resentful psychos.

I endorse every item on your who-gives-a-shit list.
Yes, let's throw the book at this bloody Edwards, Roger Clemens, and the Secret Service boys. Much better to generate useless headlines to attract advert eyeballs than to go after Wall St. banksters and the shysters who brought us the Crash of 2008. That would be unseemly!
I love where you yawn, your sensibilities and your amusement. Reminds me of one of the best lines in a movie, ever:

Captain Renault: I'm shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here! [a croupier hands Renault a pile of money] Croupier: Your winnings, sir.

would that it were all so ... funny.
Agreed, but in all the individual cases, had the perp been willing to live with the embarrassment of his initial indiscretion the whole thing would have blown over in short order, particularly in Clinton's case. He could have gone down in history as someone who merely had questionable taste in women and made dubious employee relations decisions, instead he lied to two government tribunals, lost his license to practice law, was called out by a judge and fined $90,000. Not exactly trivial for the head of the nation's executive branch. It wasn't the blow jobs.

As for Edwards, taking money from a billionaire heiress? Two Americas indeed. Where do I apply for that job?

Saw and heard too much of Clemens even in his prime to ever believe a word he said--but lying to Congress is okay? Take the Fifth Amendment--that's what it's for.
Con ---

Of course the little fibbers are GUILTY.

Call me old fashioned, but I prefer to see someone jailed for a crime with a tangible victim. Not because they fibbed about something that wasn't illegal in the first place.

Maybe it is just the notion that we have the largest prison population in the world, so we should toss in a few politicians and celebrities in the sense of fairness.
Wag the dog, baby.

"After all, they are the fucking Secret Service. So, if they can't keep it a secret, then shame on them. " - Loved this line in particular.
I think the point about the Secret Service is a good one--if they can't get that straight then should they really be in charge of anything more complex? For god's sake.
Thanks for the sign of the times...
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