Fear is at the root of man's destruction of himself. Without
Fear there is no blame. Without blame there is no conflict. Without
conflict there is no destruction.
But there is Fear: deep within the core of every human being it
lurks like a monster, dark and intangible. Its outward effects are
unmistakeable. Its source is hidden.
It can be seen on one level in furtive embarrassment, argumenta-
tive protest, social veneer and miserable isolation. It can be seen
on another level in the mammoth build-up of war machines in every
corner of the world. It can be seen in the fantasy world of escapism
known as entertainment. It can be seen in the squalor of ghettos and the pretentious elegance of "civilized" society. It can be seen in the desperate ratrace of commerce and industry, the sensational slanderings of the press, the constant back-biting of the political arena, and the lost world of the helpless junkie who has passed beyond the point of no return.
The tight-lipped suppression of the rigid moralist reflects it,
as does the violent protest of the anarchist. But more starkly and
tragically than anywhere else, it manifests in the pale grey shadow
of the ordinary person, whose fear clamps down on all his instincts
and traps him in the narrow confines of the socially accepted norm.
Afraid either to step down into the darkness of his lower self or to
rise up into the light of his higher self, he hangs suspended in bet-
ween, stultified into an alien pattern of nothingness.
But to a greater or lesser degree, and manifesting one way or
another, all human beings are afraid. And some of us are so afraid
that we dare not show our fear. Sometimes we dare not even know
our fear. For Fear itself is a terrifying concept to behold.
We may confess to being afraid of violence and pain, and even
ghosts; and with such obvious terrors, pigeonhole our fear to our
own satisfaction. But fear of people, fear of ourselves, fear of
failure, fear of loss, fear of our closest friends, fear of isolation,
fear of contact, fear of loneliness, fear of involvement, fear of
rejection, fear of commitment, fear of sickness, fear of deprivation,
fear of intensity, fear of inadequacy, fear of emotion, fear of GOD,
fear of knowledge, fear of death, fear of responsibility, fear of sin,
fear of virtue, fear of guilt, fear of punishment, fear of damnation,
fear of the consequences of our actions, and fear of our own fear?
How many of us recognize the presence in ourselves of these?
And if some of us recognize some of them, are we prepared to
see the full extent of them? Do we know just how afraid we are?
And do we know the effect that our fear has on our lives? Do we
know how completely we are governed by our fear?
And do we know that the world is governed by the sum total of
every human being's fear, and ours is not excluded?
And do we know that wars and rumors of wars mount up in an
ascending spiral of violence and potential violence, as the fear in
the hearts of men intensifies? Do we know that strife of every kind
increases as hatred, resentment, jealousy and prejudice increase,
and that all these stem from one thing only: Fear?
And do we know that one thing only ensures the escalation of
the spiral of violence and destruction: our own unwillingness to
recognize the full extent of our fear and its effects - our fear of
For each and every one of us, as long as he is afraid, and unwill-
ing to see with full clarity his fear for what it is, contributes to
the crippling conflict that has become the hallmark of this world of
ours. And as long as there IS fear, together with unwillingness to
see it clearly and completely, as long as human beings are afraid
and also fail to recognize the fact in their need to isolate them-
selves, in their outbursts of anger and irritation, in their embar-
rassment, in their sense of failure, in their feelings of resentment
and frustration, in their desire for revenge, in their guilt, in their
confusion, in their uncertainty, in their disappointment, in their
anxiety about the future and their wish to forget the past, in their
need to blame others and justify themselves, in their sense of help-
lessness and despair, in their revulsion and disgust, in their need to
be vicious and spiteful, in their lack of confidence, in their ten-
dency to boast and protest their superiority, in their failure to
respond, in their sense of inadequacy, in their feelings of envy, in
their futility, in their misery and in their scorn; as long as human
beings fail to see THEIR fear reflected in these and a hundred other
manifestations of Fear, then they will fail to see their part in the
relentless tide of hatred and violence, destruction and devastation,
that sweeps the earth. And the tide will not ebb until all is
Process Number Five on Fear - Church of the Final Judgement
A while back I had a dream. It was unusual in that I remembered it after I'd woken up, or while I was waking up, and wrote part of it down. The dream was unusual also in that it had left me with a serene feeling, rather than fear and anxiety. As I lay there replaying it in my head, I heard these words, as if someone standing next to me had said them out loud:
I climb night's webwork
Moon in hand
And drown beneath a million stars
Free from fear
Free from desire
Free from doubt
My journey begins
I don't pretend to know what that means, nor do I attach any mystical significance to it. It does seem like a decent attempt to rid myself of Process Number Five though, or to tell myself that it's possible to. Fear, desire, doubt; they're with me everyday, along with worse things, but I don't have to let them rule me. None of us does, though breaking free is a lot easier said than done. Here's to good journeying, and to not letting Fear make the rules.