Prophet of the Sam

Prophet of the Sam
Georgia, USA
December 31
Head Priest
The Cult of Sam
I kind of figured out how to make my own religion. I think you can make yours too... If you need that. If you don't, I might make you laugh. And we could all use that.


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NOVEMBER 19, 2008 3:00PM

Watchin "Intervention" and Drinkin Some Beers

Rate: 2 Flag

Perfect combinations are hard to find, but well worth the search.  I myself have been lucky enough to stumble upon many of these little nuggets of happiness:

-Fried Chicken and Cold beer

-Eating and Driving

-Tetris and taking a dump

And countless others.  But something that has become one of my favorite past times over the past year is waiting for episodes of A&E's reality series "Intervention" to build up in my OnDemand cache and combining it with a sixer.

I love to get toasted and watch people get toasted.  

For those of you who have not experienced this extremely addictive programming let me give you a brief synopsis of the setup.  You've got an addict (Now this does not just apply to drugs and alcohol; it can also cross over into eating disorders as well.  I, myself am waiting on nymphomania to make an appearance but I digress) who thinks he's being filmed in a documentary about the dangers of his personal poison.  He has no idea that at the end of the show he will be faced at intervention.  The more lucid addicts spell their name for the camera and give interviews throughout the program.  The really fucked up cases are pretty much filmed while family members do all of the talking.  At the end of the hour the addict goes to rehab and they give you an update on whether or not they've relapsed.

Now it sounds totally depressing and I'll admit that I've cried at quite a few episodes, but for the most part there is something completely interesting about the ritualistic aspect of abusing yourself.  These people have very specific patterns they follow in every aspect of the quest to get high.  It is their lifestyle and for some reason this fascinates me.  

Now I'm not sure why getting buzzed is what I prefer to do during my 4 hour binges on Intervention, but I don't think I've ever watched it sober. I'm sure there's some psychosis behind this, but I haven't put my finger on the details of that diagnosis.  

So there I'll sit, on my couch.  The dogs have been fed and let out, I've finished eating dinner and I've got nothing before me but a night of coke heads and meth addicts.  I crack open the first cold one, grab the remote and wait patiently for the chiming music to start up and listen to see if George fucks up spelling his name.  

I'll probably need another beer after they've told the story of George's childhood (bad or good, I've learned the circumstances don't always matter) and how something went wrong in his late teens.  I'll pause the show for a quick smoke break then hurry back in to watch George lie to his ex wife in order to score 20 bucks for a hit.   

Depending on whether or not George is truly a sad case I may or may not yell obscenities at the screen.  You may be thinking I'm a little harsh but once you've seen a chick hopped up on computer duster telling the camera that she doesn't care who she kills on the way to the store to get another spray can you might think a little differently.  I flipped off the tv and told her to go pop a lung before she went to blow her money bag boyfriend. I'm sorry but you are responsible for the decisions you make and if you don't give a flying fuck about hurting other people so you can escape your problems, you won't get much sympathy from me.

So anyway, then comes the actual intervention at which point I either sit in rapt attention and ball like a baby because little Anna really wants her daddy to play candyland with her again, or I sit there eyes glazed just waiting for the rehab scenes.  Once George goes to rehab and talks about how great he feels without the drugs, I sit there and have a mental debate in my head where I weigh the pros and cons of George's chances at recovery.  This all depends on the drug.

Coke heads and pill poppers seem to have the best chances followed by Heroine Addicts and Alcoholics.  The people I usually expect to see relapse updates on are the Meth addicts and Anorexics/Bulimics.  I am absolutely amazed by the serious hold eating disorders can create within people.

Then the soft acoustic closing song plays, the credits start to roll and the process starts itself anew until I run out of beer and episodes.  Once I'm done I step outside for one more smoke as I finish off my last beer and think "Damn, I'm not as bad off as I thought."

At it's core the show would be truly disgusting programming if the stars didn't get a free trip to a 90 day rehab facility then an option to go to sober living.  I'm still probably fucked up for watching it while imbibing, but I gotta say as far as enjoyable combinations go.  Beer and Intervention are pretty high up on my list. 

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I LOVE that show but a couple of the interventionist really get on my nerves at times. (I'll leave it to you to guess whom.) It's sad, but like watching a car wreck (even though I no longer look at car wrecks), but more the "cliche'" of looking at car wrecks. I think it's interesting to see just how addicted people get to things.

The one with the girl sucking keyboard dusters was the most disturbing. HOW IS SHE STILL ALIVE?????????????????

I'm with ya there buddy. That duster was FUBAR
Ugh. I can't watch it b/c I lived it for a while (well, the rehabs and relapses, at least) , but thanks for the summary.

I'm sure I'd need a few stiff drinks to get through it, too.
Hey Verbal,
From what I've seen you've got to be a super strong willed person to make it through all that and come out on the other side. You've definitely got my respect.
There's more than a little irony in your scenario considering television addiction is one of the most profligate problems in our society. If TV -- which changes brain waves, emotions, body chemistry, thought processes, reason, physical health, behavioral patterns and destroys human relationships -- were a pill, it would be illegal.