Minneapolis, Minnesota,
March 30
Michael Dane is America's favorite middle-aged, Jewish, bisexual social satirist. Or, at least one of them. Often referring to himself in the third person, he used to do standup comedy on the road, but now he just writes down funny things. His book of food humor, called "Does This Taste Funny? A Half-Baked Look at Food and Foodies," is available at Amazon.com


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Editor’s Pick
MAY 7, 2012 11:14PM

and now, a word from our sponsor

I've never been easily swayed by advertising. I can't think of anything I own that I bought because I saw an ad for it. That's especially true with food ads. I don’t think I’ve ever watched a commercial and then felt compelled to amend the grocery list for that… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
SEPTEMBER 13, 2011 12:54AM

you should hear the zucchini

I suppose I'm a food writer now, since this is for a book about food, but it's not the sort of writing I imagined doing for my first book. I fancied myself being a novelist one day, but I have to admit I'm just not that organized.

I… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
AUGUST 11, 2011 12:12PM

out of your comfort (food) zone

In music, ‘fusion’ refers to a blending of genres, like the jazz-rock fusion of Pat Metheny, or the jazz-crap fusion of Kenny G.  ‘Fusion,’ in physics, is the process by which two or more atomic nuclei join together to form a single heavier nucleus. Or, it’s how you… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JULY 12, 2011 1:02AM

what do you call that?

I used to have an easy answer if someone asked me, “So, what do you do?” I was a comic. Just two syllables–pointed, like a killer comedy bit. Now, it’s not so easy. Now that I'm not performing a lot, I either have to be way too broad,… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
DECEMBER 15, 2009 9:10AM

where do you put a panic room in a studio apartment?

I haven’t posted anything lately, because I’ve spent the last three weeks on a much needed…nervous breakdown. And while I was in the middle of it, I didn't feel particularly funny.

This wasn't my first time dealing with anxiety. Several years ago, I called a friend because I was… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
SEPTEMBER 11, 2009 1:21AM

9.11.01...a comedian's perspective

It was a couple of weeks after my then-friend Kevin had called me and said “Turn on the TV—we’re under attack.” Now, I’m not a morning person, so my first instinct was to hang up. But then I started to assemble the words into some sort of sense—we’re…u… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
SEPTEMBER 8, 2009 4:54PM

meatloaf muffins...and it's two posts in one!

I’m almost fifty years old, and I’m teaching myself how to cook. What’s weird is that I’ve loved the idea of cooking for many years, but for various reasons, until recently, my most advanced culinary exploits involved making an omelet. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve defr… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JULY 13, 2009 3:32PM

unpacking my life

Haven’t posted anything in a couple of weeks, as I’ve been in the process of finding a studio apartment and getting settled. Settled—weird word, since it’s usually a negative (“You settled for this when you could’ve had that?”) Now, I have choice anxiety with… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JUNE 27, 2009 4:20PM

the end is near--and this time there's proof!

I haven’t posted anything for a while. I’ve been busy making plans for the end of the world, which, as your Mayan friends will tell you, is scheduled for December 21st, 2012.

I typically don't buy into 'end of the world' scenarios, since, it seems to me, they're usually… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JUNE 8, 2009 12:35PM

the greatest award show moment--ever

I'm a sucker for award shows. If the American Society of Certified Public Accountants gave out awards, and they televised a handful of celebrities giving out said awards on a big stage with a curtain, I would watch. And in every awards telecast, there's always one transcendently bizarre moment that m… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
APRIL 9, 2009 1:37PM

society's problems, solved by me!

Recently, I've spent a lot of time thinking about the world's problems, and frankly I was stumped. Don't get me wrong-- I came up with a lot of answers to life's big questions (what God would call 'hot-button issues' if God were in marketing)-- but I thought nobody would actually listen… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
MARCH 16, 2009 10:37PM

i need to get laid--an open call

I have not had sex in five years. While I'd like to attribute this to my incredibly high standards, there may in fact be other reasons for this drought. When I was a younger man, I filled these dry spells with soul-searching, personal growth work, and porn. I never went to… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
MARCH 14, 2009 4:34PM

you kids get out of my yard!

I've finally gotten old enough to get away with being cranky. See, I've always been cranky, but now that I'm almost fifty, I realize I'm gonna start getting cut slack for being a cranky old guy. I can now be the guy in line muttering angry shit about--anything. I can pull/… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
MARCH 13, 2009 4:23PM

nice work if you can get it

I'm in a very transitional place right now. I have been quarter-heartedly looking for a new soul-sucking, mind-numbing underpaid office job with no benefits, and though I have emailed over two hundred resumes, so far--no response. Admittedly, my resume is a bit thin. I'm forty-eight, and have worked… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
FEBRUARY 16, 2009 8:16PM

to all the towns i've loved before

If you happened to read my previous post, you know that I attempted to move to New York. Turns out, I ran out of couches on which to crash before I was able to start generating income (I knew it was a long shot), but it was a great experience, and… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JANUARY 21, 2009 7:13PM

apocalypse whenever

As hopeful as I am on this morning after, the cynic in me always is ready for things to go kerflooey on a global scale. What with the  Gaza situation, China back to its repressive, pre-Olympics mindset and Russia seemingly nostalgic for a Cold War redux, my mind starts

Read full post »