Mimetalker's Blog

a mime is a terrible thing to waste.


Illinois, USA
January 26
On this blog: All words (other than identified quotations) © Sharon Nesbit-Davis, All rights reserved. *********************************** ********************************** You can find me on Facebook: Sharon Nesbit-Daivs, or "The Mime Writes" Logo Design by Dianaani ********************************** I work as the Education & Community Engagement Director of a Regional Arts Council which means I beg "the deciders" to fund and support the arts for everyone, not just the rich. *********************************** I am also a mime. For those that hate mimes, I understand. But you'll never find me annoying people on the street, unless I'm living there. I'm a "concert mime" ...which means you have to buy a ticket. I haven't done much mime lately...I'd rather be writing. *********************************** I've been married to my one and only since 1976. Still happy. Still in love. Two kids, eight grandkids. In college I became a Baha'i (a world religion whose main theme is unity). It keeps me relatively sane in a world gone mad.


APRIL 25, 2012 6:50PM


Rate: 32 Flag



Just when I think I’m doing okay, I have a day where images and memories of my niece explode inside. I miss appointments, and put the wrong dates on flyers, and question if it’s my brain or if I’m just sad.

I think I’m sad. The memorial services are over now. There is nothing else for the family to do for her. I think about my brother and her mother. She called them every day, even before cancer. When the phone rings, do they momentarily forget and think it’s her? I think about her husband, who posted pictures of the work he did in their yard on Facebook. He said he used to make her come and see what her hard working man had done, and she always acted impressed. Now his friends and family are impressed, but we know it isn't the same.

And last night at a gathering, a friend unknowingly, sang the children’s prayer she loved…the one all two hundred of us sang as a call and response at the graveside service. “I am…I am…a tiny seed, planted in the soil of His love…”

I know we'll be fine. But damn.


 dam and j

My niece & her husband's picture that was published in an LA Culture Magazine. It was their version of American Gothic. Those that know them, know they were close to cracking up.







Her hometown newspaper did a feature article the day after her memorial. A reporter called my brother after he read the submitted obituary:


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Damn is right.
I feel similarly when I think on my dad who died in August and it was more his 'time' than the girl's you loved and love.

The range of emotions... Of course you are sad, of course you are angry. Of course...
I love that picture. xo
It always bites you in the butt when you're no expecting it... all that changes is the time it takes to recover.
When my wife's brother died, she had unexpected crying jags for many weeks. It's normal to react like that. (What's not normal is for someone to die that young.)
Such a loss, what a lovely tribute in the link.. the photo is funny and adorable.
Oh, grief, no words, Peace to you and your family in some way tonight.
I understand this happening, and it seems right somehow. It would be worse if you just totally forgot about your niece altogether. Of course, from what you've written about her, I don't think she'd want you or anyone else to feel sad when these thoughts come up, but,rather, happy. As for the song the friend unknowingly sung, could it not in a way have been a sign, her spirit speaking through, showing everyone her love and that she's all right?
I think it's hardest when there's nothing left to do. Maybe the answer is to keep doing things to honor her. Your writing does that.
It is so much worse when all the busyness is done. Grieving is the hardest work there is.
Peace to you, and to all those that loved your niece.
That picture is striking, and article you linked to is beautiful. Damn.
Grief can hit hard after all the ceremonies are over. I'm glad you are recording the memories. It sounds like she was a remarkable young woman with a very special husband.
yes, damn...but what a gorgeous picture and way to remember.
Anger and great sadness seem more than natural. So sad and so impossible to understand.Sorry for this impossible to swallow kind of loss.
It's always the little indirect reminders that overwhelm me without warning. An article of clothing or a small possession in its favorite place. They remind me of my loss and that can pull out the bottom of the house of cards. Love that photo.
damn all of it - that she died, all those unexpected things, all that crying, everything. the only thing i know is that the days pile up and in a while the surprises don't automatically make you cry, life fills up its holes or tries to. thinking of you.
I wish I could really give you a big, big hug, mime ... but I can't and so I hope you might feel this one that I am picturing in my mind.

I am so sorry.
Damn, damn, damn and double damn.

Dear heart,

give yourself, at very least,

a year to mourn,

to remember and

tattoo the memory

on your heart;

use indelible ink.

Take time to be tender

with yourself as well.

Welcome tears

even when

they arrive unannounced.

They will wash pain

from your soul.
[r] what a lovely spirit clearly. i think of that quote about the good dying young. such was the case with her. thanks for sharing this with us. best, libby
We never cease to feel a range of emotions after losing a loved one. Eventually I hope acceptance comes along to help.

We scattered our Dad's ashes yesterday, six months after his passing. All these tasks are difficult yet part of the grieving process.
Yeah. Grief. It just keeps on recycling. Mother's Day and my mother's birthday (May 9) always coincide. This year is really hard and sad. Yet we are fortunate to have loved up somebody that much, don't you think?
No words that can help just a damn with you for those memories that sneak up when you least expect them. I wish I had more to offer...
Thank you all for your kind and encouraging words. It helps to share and it helps to scream...something new for this mime. ;)
It will get better, I promise. R
Damn isn't strong enough mime . . . so many have said it - grief is hard work - lovely tribute to a beautiful soul
You chose the right word. It's so hard to make sense out of things like this. What's even worse is that you can't and have to go on./r
Saying I'm sorry for your loss is hollow, so instead I'll say the first thing that popped into my head reading this: What profound love you have, and no gulf, not even death, can lessen the beauty of that. Hold fast, friend. Hold fast.
Beautiful obituary, great photo. I am so sorry for your loss, mimetalker.
I didn't see this until this morning after returning from mountains and dawn prayers...she continues to come to mind during that time of day. Especially this morning when the "hands of God" rays of the sun poked through rare Phoenix clouds--that was why I sent the graphic image via text to you and Roger.
You honor her, you loved her and you have lost her.
What's not to be pissed about that?
Damn is right.
Give yourself time, as much time as needed.
Not right to lose such a fruitful and beautiful young person; should not be the "way of things." Peace to you, s.