The United States has an incomparable system of government. Too bad it’s inhabited by self-serving, boneheaded wankers. Whether Democratic or Republican, the whole motley lot of politicians in DC are as rational and reasonable as a rabid spider monkey. The only place I’ve seen a gaggle of more selfish, immature, cackling wastes of flesh is on the Jersey Shore, but at least they can manage to be marginally entertaining on occasion. More important, their nincompoopery isn’t driving our country to political and economic ruin (intellectual ruin, on the other hand…). In fact, maybe we should let the cast of Jersey Shore run the country. If we’re going to go down in flames, let’s go down in an over-the-top, unapologetically senseless, Michael Bay/Transformers-style inferno. Snooki for President! KABOOM!
Of course, many of you may not want to see the country crash and burn. You still like this place. Perhaps you still see potential in its ideals and its people. Believe me, I hear you. I’m not one to surrender so easily to morons and miscreants. So to those of you who still cling to desperately to that ever unraveling thread of hope, I respectfully suggest that we eject all incumbents and elect my daughter’s fifth grade class. They’re bright. They’re motivated. And even at a mere ten years old, they get reason and compromise far better than anyone in Congress. You can negotiate with smart 5th graders. They recognize a fair deal when they see it. They learn from their mistakes. Best of all, you can bribe them with candy. What do you say, people? Can’t be worse than what we’ve got now, right?
Okay, okay. So maybe neither of these options is viable, appealing as both may seem. But I would wager that most intelligent, rational, caring Americans are pretty darn sick and tired of the world’s worst reality show now playing on Capitol Hill. Unfortunately, there is only one thing we can do to bring about any real change, and that is this: We have to give.
The first thing we have to give is a shit. We have to get involved. We have to make our voices heard. I know that multitudes beat the political involvement drum, and too often it seems to result in little significant or lasting effect. Does anyone in power ever really pay attention to the people? I wouldn’t bet a dollop of puppy poop that they do. But the fact of the matter is our numbers, our collective voice, is the only weapon we have to implement change. If we don’t tell our emperors they have no clothes on, then who will tell those lame-ass fools to cover their shame?
The second thing we have to give is giving. Instead of asking, “What’s in it for me?” or “What do I stand to lose?” consider what others have to gain. Ask how you might meet a need, uplift a community, or change a life that isn’t your own. Whether we want to recognize it or not, our fates are inextricably bound one to the other. If you screw unto others, you will eventually screw yourself, for the quality of our communities, indeed, of our nation, depends on how we care for our fellow citizens, each and every one. Do we really want to live in a Jersey Shore world? Or can we do better? (Pssst! The answer is yes, we can do better…)
Together we made history in 2008. We can make history again. But we have to make it.
Sorry, Snooki. Maybe in 2016…
Ways to get involved:
Write your congressman.
Here’s where you can find and contact your representative.
Here’s where you can find and contact your senator.
This website offers “practical assistance for those who want to make a difference.” It provides information on community building activities and community organizing as well as links to other related websites.
If you're bent about corporate tax cheaters, get involved with
US Uncut is a grassroots movement taking direct action against corporate tax cheats and unnecessary and unfair public service cuts across the U.S. Washington's proposed budget for the coming year sends a clear message: The wrath of budget cuts will fall upon the shoulders of hard-working Americans. That's unacceptable.