OCTOBER 13, 2013 7:24PM

Halloween gender benders

I'd love for this to be a story of tolerance, but it is more about one step forward on our path to acceptance of our transgender daughter.

When a new family joins a facebook group or other social media group for parents of transgender and gender variant children, they usually startRead full post »

My 14-year-old daughter keeps hoping nobody will know she's transgender. I roll my eyes but also wring my hands when she tells me this. I mean, please, she changed her name and pronouns three quarters into her year as a third grader. Almost everybody in town knows.

Yet when she entered… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 19, 2013 4:06PM

The great out (car) doors

The little vole bit into a foot-tall green weedy plant. As he chewed away, the stalk abruptly shook, then stopped, shook, then stopped at around 30 second intervals. We watched enthralled, cheering on the small brown creature. After maybe five minutes the plant was felled, after… Read full post »
FEBRUARY 4, 2013 12:51PM

The Chard Came Back

Like Percy Jackson's magic sword, or the proverbial relentless cat, my chard just wouldn't go away. 

Just yesterday the temperature plummeted below 30 degrees and my chard wilted. While I kicked myself for not harvesting the remainder the day before, part of

Read full post »
FEBRUARY 4, 2013 11:56AM

The Blueberry Kid


Airplane travel, heck, travel in general, has always opened up a repressed side of me. My senses heightened, I've scrawled hilarious descriptions of weary travelers, observations of human behavior, insight to my own nature, all entries I wish I'd saved. Possibly my best writing has… Read full post »

JANUARY 11, 2012 11:47PM

Transgender Girl Scouts, Oh my!

If you're trans and you see a skinny Girl Scout, run!

Last fall a girl scout troop, after controversy, welcomed a seven year old transgender girl to their troop. Now, Taylor, a teen girl scout has launched a campaign to protest by refusing to buy Girl Scout Cookies.

To… Read full post »

A lot of people, apparently.

We're standing in line at Toys 'R Us. My affirmed daughter is buying a big pink meanie--a Lots-o-Huggin' Bear. Why the bear is popular I do not know as his character is a grumpy traitor on Toy Story 3. In front of us… Read full post »

                        "...but that doesn't mean our dreams are going to come true."
                &nbs… Read full post »
MAY 16, 2011 4:20PM

How the pool spoiled the spa

It's not every day I get to go to a spa. Few things can be better than a spa weekend in the Catskills with a childhood friend. From yoga and cardio, facials and massages, then steam room and sauna we had it all, not to mention delicious, healthful… Read full post »

MAY 10, 2011 6:55PM

I'm no expert...

I may know more than the Average Joe about transgender issues, but being a part of an LGBTQ family doesn't make me the perfect role model on sensitivity.

Long ago I'd written a post about wearing a dress. I started with the quote:

JustRead full post »
APRIL 25, 2011 1:38PM

I walked the labyrinth

There are those who tell us that our adoption was meant to be, that already having three sons, we needed a daughter to complete our family; that we were destined to adopt Ruthie because our family was prepared to support a transgender child, and so we found each… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
APRIL 15, 2011 12:07AM

Thoughts of life and death on a spring morning


  Art by Jymi Cliche.

  Part 1

  Today in my yard I saw the first
  violets of spring. As a sometime
  gardener and a lackadaisical
  weeder, I know full well that  violets, though pretty in April, take up valuable lawn/… Read full post »

APRIL 3, 2011 11:19PM

Out, but not proud

Ruthie, our 12-year-old transgender daughter, is out but not proud. She is ashamed and wants no one to know she's trans. Yet a few years ago she started the school year living as a boy, then mid-year socially transitioned to live as a girl. Regardless of… Read full post »

MARCH 28, 2011 12:27PM

Teen trauma in the ER, part 2

 “Wait until they are teens!” is a mantra I often heard from more seasoned parents. I would smile inwardly knowing that my boys would be okay. But when Connor, 13, decided to try his first drink he didn't go half hog. Within a half an hour he'd drunk himself straight to the… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
MARCH 23, 2011 9:32PM

But what will people think?

                  There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear
                  of what the neighbours will say. Cyril ConRead full post »

An unsuccessful shopping trip prompted me to nominate the top ten reasons why I shouldn't buy "skinny jeans." I only got to seven. Which is supposed to a lucky number.

7.   I'm not skinny...
6.   ...but my wallet is.
5.   The holes in my other jeans aren't that bad.
Read full post »
Editor’s Pick
MARCH 14, 2011 1:39PM

Grey slipper socks; or, Teen trauma in the ER

Connor yelped as he registered his feet, or rather the light gray slipper socks with white rubber dots that covered them. "What the hell?!"

To a young teen who favors ankle-high black Jordan or Nike socks, this was a traumatic event. Never mind the tube fed through his nostril  to… Read full post »

MARCH 10, 2011 12:45PM

I read the news today, oh boy

 Sometimes our portended 15 minutes of fame comes unwelcome.

 It all started with a letter. Our principal, well-intentioned--although I believe misguided--decided it was best to send a letter to the third grade parents saying, "We recently became informed that one of our third-grade stuRead full post »

Editor’s Pick
FEBRUARY 28, 2011 8:40PM

Ruthies first day of school as Ruthie

IMG_1032Always provide for a distraction when your child appears in public for the first time as his or her affirmed gender. I learned this and other things on Ruthie's first day of school as a girl.

Connor—one of my fifth graders—hugs me goodbye and takes off on his bike.Read full post »

FEBRUARY 22, 2011 2:31PM


Suddenly we have a girl, she's Ruthie now, she's on top of the world. She frolics in a skirt at home. Hand-me downs arrive from neighbors, from those who get it--from as far away as Maine. She cuts up t-shirts to make jackets, mini-skirts, you name it.… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
FEBRUARY 8, 2011 12:59PM

Why guys love to hate Justin Bieber

Kudos to Justin Bieber for appearing in a Best Buy Super Bowl commercial making fun of himself. When Ozzy Ozbourne looks at the Justin Bieber in his real guise he asks, “What’s a Bieber?” Bieber, in cognito looking scruffy with a beard answers,“I don’t know, kindaRead full post »

FEBRUARY 6, 2011 6:09PM

Old Geeser in Bergün, Switzerland

Old Geeser

Editor’s Pick
JANUARY 26, 2011 11:26PM

What's in a name?

mingziI am smitten with names, always have been. As a youth I read the What Shall We Name the Baby book over and over until it was ragged and dog-eared. One day my father approached me anxiously asking whether I was pregnant. No I wasn't, it was the love of… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JANUARY 21, 2011 10:43AM

When a confession attracts the wrong audience

Okay let me start out by saying ick, ick, ick.

And then I'll go on to say that I put our lives on the line on a regular basis by writing about my family's experience raising a transgender child. Recently a family with a similar daughter got chased out of… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
JANUARY 18, 2011 12:09AM

A boy as a girl

mustache As we waited for the adoption of our son, L, we were getting hints that he might be a different sort of child. So many things about him seemed so feminine, so my sister, a therapist, sent me emails from various lesbian and trans friends. One said:

Assuming… Read full post »