El Id

is a brat

Matt Paust

Matt Paust
Location
Gloucester, Virginia,
Birthday
December 31
Bio
Sorry - writer's block... BTW the "birthday" listed above is false. I prefer to keep that day private, but am not permitted to do so here, so I'm forced to lie.

MY RECENT POSTS

 

My sister told me the other day she and a cousin have been doing a little genealogical research and think we may have a Jewish ancestor on my father's side.  I was raised in the Gulf of Ambivalence separating my mother's mild-but-devout Lutheranism and my dad's snarky atheism.  

IRead full post »

 

GoDaddy would want our cold cash

But we ain't got enough of that stash.

Most other lit sites keep the riff raff away

Unless you're a friend or are willing to pay.

There are specialty places with limitedRead full post »

OCTOBER 6, 2011 8:08AM

Been good to know yuh

You gave us a way, for our fingers to play

All the night and the day, and new words we could say

Such as cursor and alt, reboot, mouse, scroll and save

And now you are gone from our midst so we wave: (Well, it's...)

 … Read full post »

OCTOBER 5, 2011 8:56AM

My do-over wish

A sheriff's deputy talked her out of jumping.  She was sitting on a ledge below the roadway over the river.  It was late at night and no one else was around. The deputy just happened to see her sitting out there.  He parked his cruiser on theRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 29, 2011 2:22PM

Price of perfection

Adverse emotions jousted in my head when I finally recognized the typo. It was an 18-point italic head. You don't misspell words that big. Not if you're trying to pass yourself off as a professional writer – a literary one, at that.

But I do andRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 27, 2011 6:37PM

Come see the new book!

 

I know many of you whom I consider friends have a different view than mine on the issue of personal gun ownership.  With this in mind I'm sharing here the foreword to my just-released collection of stories, If the Woodsman is Late. Some of you may rememberRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 26, 2011 1:19PM

OUTRAGEOUS SHOOTING!

 
Somebody left a comment on the attached video that Bob Munden is prepared for the inevitable  zombie invasion.  Well, after watching the two-hour DVD, Outrageous Shooting, I would agree.  I would also agree were anyone to suggest that Bob's wife, Becky, is ready too and were I aRead full post »
SEPTEMBER 13, 2011 5:21PM

Bedfellows

Elmo Creedmore, junior senator from Iowa and a drop-dead handsome ambitious Republican, had just about finished his Caesar salad when his Blue Dog Democrat lunch mate finally got down to business. The noon sun cooperated with this shift from faux joviality by sliding behind a bank of serious clouds tRead full post »

 

Much have I rated, commented and read,

And many forms I've sought to imitate;

Round many clever thoughts I've tried to skate

And met faint praise in every comment thread.

Whilst searching 'round for stuff to feed my head

Snagged was I by Con's Homeric spate;

Yet 'twas not… Read full post »

AUGUST 31, 2011 10:51AM

The Wait

Cicadas crying for mates give the sweeter sound,

Their surrounding serenade soars with life and hope

Among the glad green leaves

As if to mock the generator's relentless throbbing groan.

New guy on the block.

Loveless robot.

Started its stubborn solo with… Read full post »

AUGUST 26, 2011 11:01AM

Rainy Daze

We cry when we squeeze out from the womb (dadumpdadumpdadump)

We cry when we think about our tomb (dadumpdadumpdadump)

We cry because we do not want to die (dadumpdadumpdadump)

We cry when we're afraid to try (dadumpdadumpdadump)

But I am not meaning to imply (dadumpdadumpdadump)

That we should not fRead full post »

Mid-month, one of two crunch times for bill paying in Wall Street's latest War on the Middle Class. This is when my Social Security check magically appears in my account. First of the month is when the money I'm bleeding from my IRA shows up.

My two biggest concerns… Read full post »
AUGUST 14, 2011 9:12AM

Doggie story

A friend sent me these in an email:

 

 

A LESSON IN LIFE AND LONGEVITY   
Be nice to others because . . Time WILL make a difference!

 

 

dogs

 

One day you will no longer be the big dog... 
just the old dog.... 
Read full post »
Posted the attached "poem" Jun 15 of last year after Ryan had been away awhile.  We knew he'd checked into a hospital for what he said would be some tests and corrective measures for his very serious health conditions.  We didn't know then he wouldn't be back.  Ryan died nearly two… Read full post »

I started my first blog on Google's Blogspot on Saturday, September 19, 2009.  I posted three posts on my debut day, and only one of them got a comment, from a friend.  I started the blog the day after our family went to the movies and saw Julie & Julia.  IRead full post »

AUGUST 4, 2011 10:46AM

Bamy's new book

Yay, I beat Cranky!   While he was up in Manhattan hobnobbing with Open Salon's New York stars I stayed home in Old Virginny composing a review for the book we've all been waiting to see reviewed.  

"Bamy," for those of you who have been reading nothing but political nightmare scenariosRead full post »

JULY 25, 2011 10:34AM

How Irish dancing started?

bellaa
 
Hey, huh?  Whattaya lookin' at?  I'm Bellaa, Tink's sister and da matriarch o' dis famly.  I don't truck no shit from no silly ass hairball pukin' pussy wimps.  Got it?  Good.  So just read and keep yer hairball holes shut.  I will do da talkin'.
Payback is a motherfucker.  That's Armyspeak for a certain kind of Karma.  I considered using it as the title of this piece, but demurred after deciding what I'm trying to work out here is too complicated for so simple an answer.  The Culture Club lyrics aren't quite right, either, but… Read full post »
JULY 7, 2011 1:21PM

Shakespeare on justice

Kenji Yoshino's law professor cautioned him when Yoshino first broached an interest in mixing the disciplines of law and literature. He had switched from a lit major to law school. He wanted to do a paper on theories of literary and legal precedent. The professor also had switched… Read full post »
Editor’s Pick
JUNE 15, 2011 7:42PM

Whacked

I started to subtitle this “a religious experience?” but decided as I and, I suspect, many others here aren't especially attracted to essays smacking even the slightest of the “r” word, and as this monstrosity is going to have a hard enough time luring and keeping readers anywRead full post »

Editor’s Pick
MAY 12, 2011 11:58AM

My inner Sinatra saves me

My dad hated him.  Called him "Snotra."  My dad hated people by type. Until I knew better, I assumed my dad was right, and carried little regard for "that cocky little bantam rooster."

Our divergence came suddenly, when my high school cornet instructor mentioned Sinatra and I responded dispaRead full post »

MAY 5, 2011 2:50PM

She flew the coop

I watched from a window overlooking the driveway this morning as Sarah climbed into her little silver Toyota. Her friend Jessica stashed her book bag on the back seat, then joined Sarah in the front. They sat there awhile.

I imagined Sarah checking her instrument panel the way an airplaneRead full post »

APRIL 30, 2011 12:55PM

Rooster romance (X-rated video)

Now that the Royal Wedding has presumably been officially consummated, we can move on to a perhaps less exalted union on the other side of The Pond. 

In the two or three weeks since Prince Blue met his new harem in County Gloucester (which side ofRead full post »

APRIL 29, 2011 11:42AM

We did it!

Nearly two months ago I appealed to you to help Chris Clifford, a local volunteer in my community, win the state Cox Conserves Hero contest by voting for him online.  The prize, besides being named "Hero," was that the parks and recreation group for which he volunteers would get a $5,000Read full post »