(Not only was America shocked...so was Kris)
I should have done Survivor recaps. I love Survivor. I loved JT. JT, the other kid from a state that begins with A, who actually won a competition he completely and thoroughly deserved.
Don’t worry. That’s about the only thing I’m going to imply about last nights results where 100 MILLION VOTES were cast and Kris Allen became this year’s American Idol.
(Really really shocked)
One of my first thoughts (after I had to be given CPR at the Results Show to revive me…poor m.a.h.) was that I was genuinely happy for fabflamingo and Aunt Shelle, two ardent supporters of Kris Allen.
I was also happy for the millions of tweens who have more time on their hands than God and their cell phones have become a sixth digit who patiently and persistently texted or called the American Idol phone lines for 4 hours straight the night before.
I was also happy for the Christian contingent who were devastated by their Danny boy being sent home the week before and shifted their focus to Kris, because God forbid anyone ungodly get their vote, and we all know, no guy who wears “guy liner” can be godly.
I was also happy for Miss California who surely must be taking some credit for this win, a moral victory of sorts, and there are some who did not vote for Adam simply because they feared he might be "gay" and are now heaving huge sighs of relief that America is not yet so depraved it crowns and endorses a champion that may be swinging for the wrong team.
(Could this have been a turn off to voters?)
So, do you want to know what it was like to actually BE THERE?
(Let's just say, m.a.h. is very petite and I'm well...not)
First things first, meeting beautiful petite m.a.h. was the HIGHLIGHT of my day. m.a.h. who so graciously prodded her darling husband who has some damn good connections to get us not only 2 seats to the show, but AMAZING seats to the show. Did you see us? We were there, 9 seats from the stage and surrounded by celebrities and former American Idol contestants.
It was an extravaganza of a show. A lineup that never ceased to amaze: David Cook, Santana, Queen Latifah, Fergie and the Black Eyed Peas, Steve Martin, KISS, Queen, Cyndi Lauper, Rod Stewart, Lionel Richie, and Keith Urban. The show was fast paced and the 2 hours flew by.
There were some painful moments: Notably BIKINI GIRL with the constant snarl on her face got put in her place by Kara who redeemed herself last night with her great voice and her guts and own bikini to show BG what a real woman is.
Speaking of painful moments, I was engaging in a spirited conversation with a friend of m.a.h.’s about Kara and her horrible turd of a song and what we didn’t like about her, when a pretty woman sitting in front of us turned around and said, “Please stop talking about Kara like that. She’s my cousin.”
OUCH! We both did flip flops that would have made John Kerry proud and immediately started singing Kara’s praises. The woman seemed to buy it and the lights gratefully went down to hide my red and mortified face. My mother always said, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it.” When will I ever learn?
m.a.h. and I had a wonderful time and within minutes of meeting each other, felt like long lost friends. If you can say anything about OS, say this: It is one amazing community.
As for Adam and Kris, you know those darn liberal Californians (never mind that they took away the rights for gays to marry, a minor detail), this crowd was all about Adam, the Adam who knocked the socks off of all of us with his voice and performance with KISS.
(I snuck this one picture of Adam in...no cameras were allowed)
Finally the moment had arrived to announce the winner. The evening had been so spectacular, so fantastic, so obvious to everyone who was there who was going to win American Idol because, and please trust me because you probably weren’t there, it was SO apparent who had the best voice, the best stage presence and the most charisma.
So I can only tell you that when Ryan announced Kris Allen as the new American Idol, the theater that was packed with thousands of people was stunned. I haven’t seen the replay, but the producers surely must have had to resort to some kind of canned response to make it sound like there were people in the audience that were actually happy with this.
And don’t get me wrong. Of course there were some Kris Allen fans, but they seemed small in number. The rest of us stood there, jaws dropped to the ground, faces in disbelief as we looked at one another, shaking our heads in bewilderment.
It was just SO WRONG.
And let’s be honest here. No one seemed more shocked than Kris Allen himself. I felt really bad for him because it was so apparent in that large hushed theater that the applause was reserved and restrained. It was the ultimate of party poopers and Debbie Downers. A night that had had so much momentum, so many spectacular performances…Ryan’s announcement landed like a thud, like the turd of the song Kara had written that Kris had to sing one more time (this song is the only reason I’m grateful Adam didn’t win).
And as people slowly and quietly left the Nokia theater, still shaking their heads in disbelief, another season of American Idol went down in history, proving once again that the American voter can’t always be trusted.
I’m not as bitter as I surely must sound. Yes, Adam will get record deals and be famous, blah blah blah. It’s just the principle I’m stuck on. The whole, it’s a SINGING competition. I’m jaded now and the good news for all of you is that you will no longer be subjected to my American Idol recaps…collective sigh of relief for that…and come next January when American Idol starts up again, I’ll be doing something a little more productive with my time on Tuesday nights like playing bingo or watching reruns of Gilligan’s Island.
Or how about this? I’ll be spending my time on REAL ISSUES like our wonderful BBE and countless others who remind us on a daily basis of the true suffering and injustices that go on in the world that could surely use our time and attention.
One final thing: Kris Allen seems to be a peach of a guy and I will give credit where credit is due. He is one talented kid who has blossomed, matured and developed as a performing artist over the last 6 months. His rendition of Ain’t No Sunshine was pure perfection.
THANKS M.A.H. and thanks to everyone on OS who’s had as much fun with this as I have.