Elizabeth Edwards and the Women Who Stand By Their Man
Elizabeth Edwards has thrust herself, her husband and her family back into the lime light with the release of her book, “Resilience” and her appearance on the Oprah Winfrey show.
After watching the show, I got the feeling that a more appropriate title for the book might have been “Resilience and Revenge”.
When the cameras showed up at the home of John and Elizabeth Edwards, John Edwards looked like he was looking for the nearest foxhole. When Oprah asked him if he would be around for later questioning, his answer was vague. At the very end of the show, Oprah and Elizabeth cornered him somewhere in the house where he stood with his hands in his pockets looking like a little boy who had gotten his hand caught in the cookie jar.
Elizabeth looked comfortable with a smile on her face. I could almost hear her thinking, “Let him squirm. Have at it Oprah!”
Elizabeth is in good company. Silda Spitzer, still wife to former governor of New York Eliot Spitzer (who had too much fun with young, glamorous and expensive prostitutes), Gayle Paterson, still wife to David Patterson, (current governor of New York who had too much fun with several women), Suzanne Craig, still wife to former Idaho Senator Larry Craig (who was having a little too much fun in an airport bathroom), and Gayle Haggard (still wife to “reformed” gay evangelical pastor, Ted Haggard who had too much fun with male prostitutes).
(Silda is standing by her man. I wish she'd had a frying pan in her hand.)
These women (and there are many more like them) are women who have been publicly humiliated by their visible and prominent husband’s indiscretions. Every one of them have decided to “stand by their man”.
As a woman, I’ve cringed when I’ve seen them appear in public with their unfaithful men. Their husband's indiscretions have subjected them to the flood lights of TV cameras for all the world to see. Surely, they must have felt naked, exposed and mortified. Yet there they were.
I do not judge these women’s decisions. That would never be my place. But I do wonder why they stay. Many of these women have daughters. What do they tell their daughters? Many of these women have sons. What do they tell their sons?
Is “marriage” and the “family” so sacred and hallowed that the woman betrayed must become the sacrificial lamb for the sake of…what?
This is where I get stuck. Become the sacrificial lamb for what?
There is no intimacy, no marriage without Trust. And when Trust gets broken, there are only two things that can fix it. Time and Behavior. That’s it. Time and Behavior.
Time is not something that Elizabeth Edwards has the luxury of and I wish her well in her earnest desire to keep the marriage she thought was intact as she faces a much more important battle...her life.
And while I don’t know any of these women and don’t want to judge their decisions to stay, is it selfish of me, terrible of me to say, no scream:
JUST ONCE, ONE TIME ONLY, COULD ONE OF THESE WOMEN PUHLEASE GET REALLY ANGRY, REALLY PISSED OFF, AND NOT SHOW UP WITH THE “REMORSEFUL” HUSBAND AT THE NEWS CONFERENCE, STANDING IN THE BACKGROUND COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY HUMILIATED AND JUST ONCE HAVE HER OWN NEWS CONFERENCE WHERE SHE LOUDLY AND BOLDLY ANNOUNCES THAT SHE IS KICKING THE GUY TO THE CURB, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!
Oh what I would give to see a press conference like that.
I’d love to see one of them write a book about that. How great their life is without the Man. Take it public, go on an international book tour, Larry King, Oprah, hell Regis and Kelly would do.
These women who stay don't seem that happy to me...more like sad and resigned. I'd love to see just one of them break loose.
Their revenge would be simple and powerful: The unmistakable look of freedom shining brightly on their faces.
And for the record: I'm the first to admit with my hand held high, this could be all me, my trigger. But really is it asking too much to just have ONE WOMAN, I don't care which one, ONE WOMAN who has a husband in the public eye, a husband who says one thing out of one side of his mouth and another in some oval office, back of the car, public bathroom, or sleezy motel, just one of them either publicly or privately, say that enough is enough. That's all. Just one. Or how about this, stay with the man if you will. Just don't show up for the press conference.
He made his bed...let him lie in it.