YOU HAD ME AT "HA"!

from HOPE to HARPO - my love affair with funny!

Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands
Location
los angeles, California,
Birthday
July 03
Bio
Marilyn Sands is a Former 80's Stand-up Comic, her Essays can be found on salon.com & her unsold Screenplays in her Top Drawer...next to the hard liquor! "Author of 2 Works of Fiction....my Diary & my Resume"! ha ha All my Articles are Copyrighted & yes, I'll know!

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APRIL 21, 2012 2:07PM

"NEWT'S Political PAJAMA GAME"! Scripted

Rate: 4 Flag

11th hour  

CALISTA

Newt, I've got things to do!

NEWT

Stick with me - I'm best at the 11th Hour!

CALISTA

Promises, Promises!

NEWT

It's a Game Calista - it's been working for me all my life!

CALISTA

Clearly, we don't have a chance in Hel...

NEWT

For the last time - I'm not going to Hell!  Hell no!

CALISTA

You're just gonna let the Campaign Peter-Out?

NEWT

Either that or Mitt gets very sick!

CALISTA

Now you're really going to Hell!

NEWT

Well, I won't be alone!

CALISTA

They say we're spending Taxpayers money by using The Secret Service.

NEWT

I like The Secret Service - I feel important & they have Connections.

CALISTA

What Connections?

NEWT

Don't you worry your pretty little hair-sprayed head!  BTW can I enter?

CALISTA

You know my Hair Rules - Mornings from 8 to 8:05! 

CALISTA

Why do you torture me with this long Campaign?

NEWT

Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!

CALISTA

I can cook that at home!

NEWT

Grits, Calista!  How can you screw up Grits?

CALISTA

You weren't asking for Grits when you had me up against The Clinton Files!

NEWT

I'm a Grandfather now - I have different appetites!

CALISTA

I really have things to do.

NEWT

Don't you see - it gives me a boner just to pass Santorum!

CALISTA

Shh..you have to watch the "open" mikes, honey!

NEWT

I earned the right to say that - I'm oversexed you know.

CALISTA

That's what I've been wanting to talk about.

NEWT

Oh, the Rug burns?

CALISTA

Lose the Bra & Panties, Newt!

NEWT 

Tuesdays & Thursdays?

CALISTA

No!

NEWT

Then how about Spanx? 

CALISTA

No!

NEWT

My Birthday?

CALISTA

Well....

newt end 

© All Rights Reserved 2012 Marilyn Sands

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Comments

Type your comment below:
Newt's a pervo??? Who'd have thunk it!
Thanks jmac! Newt will probably stay in Pergatory with Rush - they seem to slip thru the cracks!
This is a tough room! ha ha
Did you plant a bug in his bedroom to get this great material?
rated withlove
Time for Newt to exit stage left...er, I mean right. Fun post. R
You got his number alright. R
Thanks Romantic P! He's got a red hot nightgown I'd love to borrow! ha ha
Thanks Jerry! There's a big sigh of relief from all of us that he didn't get the nomination. But as Yogi Berra once said, "It's not over until Karl Rove says so"!
Thanks Thoth! If he gets picked to be VP - I'm outta here!
Newt didn't lose the primary race. He just ran out of time at the twelfth hour. By the way, I want to hear more about your early experiences with Etch-a-Sketch!
Thanks Dan! The Etch-a-Sketch? I'd rather tell you about my next blog: "THE HULA HOOP & I"!