"EVERYTHING YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX BUT WERE AFRAID TO ASK"!
This Movie isn't for everybody - you know...Monks, Tebow, Santorum!
Woody Allen would know about such things - he once said "I was Breast-fed from "Falsies"!
That's not in this Movie - I just wanted to make a point!
This 1972 low-brow Movie was inspired by the 1969 best selling sex guide of the same name by Dr. David Reuben & each segment title is a question from the book - like some "Open Salon" Titles I've seen:
"Do Aphrodisiacs Work"?
"What Is Sodomy"?
And "What To Do When This Site Is Down"!
Please don't be offended by this Post - this is really educational & I'm doing a Service to many. I don't know who they are right now - but when I see my Comments - I'll get an idea! ha ha
With 1970's fueled humor & sex-crazed hysterics ably satirized by Woody; these 7 vignettes go past the Freud-Innuendo & go straight for the Jungular-Wit!
The cheap laugh is a prize Woody heaps on us with every zany sight gag & one liner; showering us with folly as he plays The Fool in all of his characterizations.
How could this movie go wrong with lines like:
THE QUEEN: "Kiss me quick"!
THE FOOL: "Yes! Where is your Quick"?
It was the 7o's folks!
Or ...THE FOOL: "Before you know it, the Renaissance will be here & we'll all be painting"!
Or Comic-Actor Gene Wilder & his romance with sheep. Thanks to Gene's tender courting - this indelible image has managed to ruin all of my human relationships!
I didn't know this oafish practice could be so baaad!
But my really Favorite Scene in this Movie takes place in a Control Center where Sperm are programmed by a whole team of robotic nerds.
Woody Allen plays one of the chosen Sperm in a steamy step by step depiction of the mechanics of having a simple romantic evening.
Who wouldn't laugh out loud as Woody is type-cast; playing the soldier-like, white-uniformed Sperm; as they are dispatched Paratrooper-style into the great unknown.
WOODY: "I'm not getting shot out of that thing. What if he's masturbating? I'm liable to end up on the ceiling"!
THE COMPUTER OPERATOR: "Attention gonads we're going for seconds"!
Don't want to give you all the Punch Lines; you'll have to rent the dvd to see how Woody gets out of this Jam & has a Happy Ending.
But I will give you some data if you don't want to be a dada:
According to Google & my Funk & Wagnalls; 1 Teaspoon of the stuff spritzes 200-500 Sperm in each delivery.
And, the average speed of Sperm is 31 mph; which is faster than a Peruvian Jaguar - especially if she has a headache!
Please don't be alarmed at my ease in describing all this - this is purely Clinical - I'm just a layperson & it's not an endorsement or anything.
Besides; I like the Battery Kind - you don't have to cook them Breakfast!
Who am I kidding; I don't even know how to fill a Flashlight!
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Ramona Grigg
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Comments
A delightful romp down memory lane. Woody is one funny guy and what better topic for comedy than sex. Thanks for sharing this oldie but goodie. All the best to you in your world.
wb :-)
Hey, what is the difference between a sperm and a politician? Answer, there is at least a one in a million chance that the sperm will be human.