"EVERYTHING YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX BUT WERE AFRAID TO ASK"!
This Movie isn't for everybody - you know...Monks, Tebow, Santorum!
Woody Allen would know about such things - he once said "I was Breast-fed from "Falsies"!
That's not in this Movie - I just wanted to make a point!
This 1972 low-brow Movie was inspired by the 1969 best selling sex guide of the same name by Dr. David Reuben & each segment title is a question from the book - like some "Open Salon" Titles I've seen:
"Do Aphrodisiacs Work"?
"What Is Sodomy"?
And "What To Do When This Site Is Down"!
Please don't be offended by this Post - this is really educational & I'm doing a Service to many. I don't know who they are right now - but when I see my Comments - I'll get an idea! ha ha
With 1970's fueled humor & sex-crazed hysterics ably satirized by Woody; these 7 vignettes go past the Freud-Innuendo & go straight for the Jungular-Wit!
The cheap laugh is a prize Woody heaps on us with every zany sight gag & one liner; showering us with folly as he plays The Fool in all of his characterizations.
How could this movie go wrong with lines like:
THE QUEEN: "Kiss me quick"!
THE FOOL: "Yes! Where is your Quick"?
It was the 7o's folks!
Or ...THE FOOL: "Before you know it, the Renaissance will be here & we'll all be painting"!
Or Comic-Actor Gene Wilder & his romance with sheep. Thanks to Gene's tender courting - this indelible image has managed to ruin all of my human relationships!
I didn't know this oafish practice could be so baaad!
But my really Favorite Scene in this Movie takes place in a Control Center where Sperm are programmed by a whole team of robotic nerds.
Woody Allen plays one of the chosen Sperm in a steamy step by step depiction of the mechanics of having a simple romantic evening.
Who wouldn't laugh out loud as Woody is type-cast; playing the soldier-like, white-uniformed Sperm; as they are dispatched Paratrooper-style into the great unknown.
WOODY: "I'm not getting shot out of that thing. What if he's masturbating? I'm liable to end up on the ceiling"!
THE COMPUTER OPERATOR: "Attention gonads we're going for seconds"!
Don't want to give you all the Punch Lines; you'll have to rent the dvd to see how Woody gets out of this Jam & has a Happy Ending.
But I will give you some data if you don't want to be a dada:
According to Google & my Funk & Wagnalls; 1 Teaspoon of the stuff spritzes 200-500 Sperm in each delivery.
And, the average speed of Sperm is 31 mph; which is faster than a Peruvian Jaguar - especially if she has a headache!
Please don't be alarmed at my ease in describing all this - this is purely Clinical - I'm just a layperson & it's not an endorsement or anything.
Besides; I like the Battery Kind - you don't have to cook them Breakfast!
Who am I kidding; I don't even know how to fill a Flashlight!