May 21, 2012 L.A. Times Newspaper

"4 TONS OF POT FOUND IN THE OCEAN"

"Local and federal authorities spent several hours (I bet) Sunday recovering more than 160 bales of marijuana discovered floating in the Pacific Ocean.  A flotilla of official boats eventually hauled in more than 8,000 pounds &… Read full post »

It's all about "Hysteria" - the Movie; not my reaction to the Bathroom Mirror this morning!  ha ha

The Movie is a tale of a cautious man & a liberated woman brought together by the wonders of friction. 

Or simply "Boy Meets Girl - Girl Meets Vibrator" Story!

… Read full post »

** Okay, Borrowed 'em! 

As you can imagine; Russ Limbaugh has been orgasmic since calling Obama "The 1st Gay President" - but I'm afraid it's caught on & gonna stick!

While Obama didn't plan for this Moniker to be on his limo's Bumper Sticker or sum up his 2012 Platform; unfortunately… Read full post »

5th Grade.  4th & last Elementary School! 

Yes, by that time; I was bone tired of new this, new that, new Teachers & new Classmates.  And, I was the new shy girl once again; with not the right religion - ripe for the bully pickings! 

It was Spring in Southeast Washin… Read full post »

The White House, The Obama Bedroom

A Non-Partisan Farce

MICHELLE

Are you sure, Barack?

BARACK

Positively!  They were out of my room by the time I got there.

MICHELLE

Your room?

BARACK

One room is as good as another - you know I wasn't born with a Silver Spoon!

MICHE… Read full post »

CALISTA

Newt, I've got things to do!

NEWT

Stick with me - I'm best at the 11th Hour!

CALISTA

Promises, Promises!

NEWT

It's a Game Calista - it's been working for me all my life!

CALISTA

Clearly, we don't have a chance in Hel...

NEWT

For the last time -… Read full post »

DICK CLARK One-Liners... & a little Vanna White too!

Dick Clark was truly instrumental in promoting Rock & Roll from the very beginning - and every Singer, Songwriter, Dancer, Musician & Music Lover during his glory days owe him enormous thanks for our memories!

So… Read full post »

Open Salon Headquarters, New York City

3 am Janitorial Shift, Right before Shakedown

Not a *Stay-at-Home Mom; Maura a 52 year old Mother of 6, dusts & mops as she listens to her iPod & sings along with Whitney:

MAURA

"Oh, wanna dance with somebody..."

She dips & s… Read full post »

Fed up with your Party?  If we're fed up with our own Party - wouldn't it be so much better if we could design our perfect Party?

I believe - "If we create it; they will come"!  But then again; they haven't seen me put together a Swing Set from/… Read full post »

Busted!  Busted at an "All You Can Eat Buffet"!  

In a past life; my late husband & I hit all the Gambling Casinos from The Taj Mahal in Atlantic City to the Istanbul Hilton; where my favorite game of chance is  was Blackjack.

9 times out of 10; I would get… Read full post »

"The Baby's coming, the Baby's coming", shrieked a very pregnant woman rushing into the Emergency Room in the Atlanta suburb Hospital where my daughter works. 

Following her was an In-Shock Male - her husband; who also didn't speak English well.

My daughter quickly asked "How many minutes… Read full post »

Having just read Carrie Fisher's latest book "Shockaholic"; I was reminded that we have a Connection - 6 or 600 degrees; but none-the-less - a starting point for a woman I've long admired for her razor sharp wit & literary prolific-ness.  But most of all as a Script Doctor; edi… Read full post »

Repost of May 5, 2011

"Everybody wants to get into De Act"! was just one of Actor/Comedian/Pianist, Jimmy Durante's Catch Phrases!

You might not be old enough to recognize the name - but you might remember him from the mapcap Movie, "It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad (had enough… Read full post »

Oh George... just because you didn't win the Oscar for Best Actor in the "Descendants" - you shouldn't act out like this!

You know it's more important just to be nominated, right?

You aren't having an "O Brother Where Art Thou" Flashback; are you?

&nbs… Read full post »

Repost of May 26, 2011

If Obama can claim his Grandfather's Grandfather was breast fed in Ireland; then I can wear my Green Contacts today - itch or no itch!

While he was there he kissed The Blarney Stone, drank Stout & even had time to glue together 3 Leaf… Read full post »

Washington, D.C. 1960's

While trying to get pregnant & after working for the Government for 5 years; I went looking for a fun Job as a Receptionist at an upscale Beauty Salon in Washington, D.C.  The woman in charge told me to follow her to the back of the Salon & then… Read full post »

After reading Margaret Feike's OS article "When Smoke Gets In Our Lives"; I remembered this like it was yesterday.  And don't worry - I waited till all the major players passed on!

When I was 14 years old; I stayed a whole summer in the Bronx, New York with my… Read full post »

Santa Monica Playhouse, Santa Monica, California

As I & everyone else in that theatre watched & listened to this lone voice on this bare stage; we searched in her smile, her gestures, her mannerisms, cadence & wit - for a resemblance of our national treasure - her father.&nb… Read full post »

TOP 10 REASONS WHY SANTORUM SAYS HE DOESN'T USE CONDOMS

#10  "Ever see me opening those bags in the Produce Section of the Grocery Store"?

#9   "The squeaky noise puts my wife to sleep"!

#8   "It always falls off...I mean my friend complains"!

#7   "The Rhythm… Read full post »

Buy it, Rent it, Download it or Steal it - just see it!

This 1984 Movie starring Sean Penn, Elizabeth McGovern & Nicolas Cage; is as good as it gets!

This small town tale in California in 1942, touchingly tells of two pals awaiting Military Service; discovering first love &… Read full post »

Dear Rick,

     First you have to buy one!  Don't worry - buy it with macho things like Razor Blades,Tabasco & Drano - the Clerk will never notice!  Trust me!

     Look, if you can't rid yourself of "The Price Check Fear" - you'll never get a hold… Read full post »

"EVERY THING YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX BUT WERE AFRAID TO ASK"!

 This Movie isn't for everybody - you know...Monks, Tebow, Santorum!

Woody Allen would know about such things - he once said "I was Breast-fed from "Falsies"! 

 That's not in this Movie - I just wan/… Read full post »

Since you want to get off & I want to get on - it gives me great pleasure to get back on the Stage & onto Salon's Platform! You see; I need to - I'm 5'0 Feet - 5'8 in Heels!

For those who don't know me - I opened… Read full post »

Kennedy had "High Hopes"; Reagan had "California Here I Come"...and then there's Newt!

"There's a large part of me that's 4 years old.   I wake up in the morning & I know that somewhere there's a Cookie.  I don't know where it is but I know it's mine & I… Read full post »

Circa: Somewhere In Time 

It was just weeks before we'd hear "Pomp & Circumstance"; and our emotions & stress ran high - as our future laid before us.

And like every other High School Girl-Graduate in the Washington D.C./Metro Area, our eyes were on the Government… Read full post »