I met Nancy in a three-week program we both attended last December.  It was for women only, specifically, women who wanted to change their lives.  Nancy sat across from me and I liked her right away.  Of all the women there, she seemed the most like me.  She was about my age, had a similar background and was also a suburban mother.  She had wide gray eyes, a toothy white smile and was warm and friendly. 

She was also supremely confident, relentlessly positive and talked a blue streak. 

When I found out she was Catholic I decided we should be friends.  When I found out she went to Mass every single day, said the rosary regularly and prayed for everyone in class, I was in awe.  Maybe if I hung around her she’d get me closer to heaven, by association.

Early on, she let it be known she was pro-life and the instructor had to ask her to keep her views to herself.  She murmured, "Sorry," and crossed herself.  I decided I better keep quiet about my own feelings on the subject since I liked her; I didn't want it to get in the way of a potential friendship. I know plenty of people who feel the same way as Nancy.  I could live with a disagreement like that. 

But there were other things.

Once she asked me if I did yoga.  

"Only in my mind," I replied.

"Well don't ever do it for real.  Yoga is against the teachings of the Church.  It gives demons direct access to the soul."

She was a former nurse.  She mentioned she couldn’t go back to nursing anymore because even though hospitals don’t make a policy of stating it, they’re all pro-choice and regularly perform abortions.

So she had a few quirky ideas, I told myself.  I don’t mind quirky.   

When the program ended, Nancy and I agreed to keep in touch.  We decided to get together once a week and support each other in our quest for change.  I couldn't wait; the program was great but it was highly structured and there wasn’t a lot of time for chitchat.  It would be nice to talk informally, without the constraints of time and nailing down objectives.  

We met at a restaurant after the first of the year.  We ordered and then got down to business.  I was anxious to find out if she'd been working on changing. 

"Margaret, want to take a leap of faith?" Nancy asked me as she leaned across the table and stared at me with those huge gray eyes.

"Uh, I'm not wearing the right shoes for that, Nance."

"No silly," she laughed.  "What I mean is, there's going to be an anti-abortion rally in D.C. soon and I thought you might want to go with me.  I get the feeling you're not pro-life.   Miracles happen at these things.   It'll change you, I know it will."

"I'm sorry but I'm not interested," I said, deliberately taking a gulp of my burning hot coffee to keep from saying more.   

"But babies are being murdered every day.  And do you know what they do with them?  They make vaccines out of their flesh.  Out of their flesh, Margaret!"

“That is just not true,” I said.  Now I was alarmed.

She practically lunged across the table at me.  "Oh yes it is, I can tell you where to get the information, I can give you websites.  If the public only knew half the things I do, there would never be another abortion and no one would get their kids vaccinated either."

Then she added, "You don’t get your kids vaccinated, do you?"

I stared at her.  "Are you crazy?  Of course I do."

And she was off.  She rattled on about how vaccines were so deadly they actually caused diseases and also autism.  It was a conspiracy between the medical and pharmaceutical communities.  Doctors and drug company executives didn’t get their kids vaccinated.

She could never be a nurse again because there were certain people she’d decided she couldn’t treat.  Like Muslims.   It went against her morals to take care of people who hated America and were only here to scam the system. The family was sacred and most of society's problems would go away if women stayed home with their children.  If only Sarah Palin were president, she added wistfully.

“Do you listen to Rush Limbaugh?  You really should; I learn so much from him,” she said, coming up for air.

This wasn’t the kind of change I was looking for or willing to support.

I looked at my cell phone in desperation.  "Oh no, I just remembered, I have to pick up my kids earlier than usual.  They have an, um, an early release day."

Nancy was okay with that; she said that gave her time to go back to church and pray for all the unborn babies that were being aborted as we spoke. 

As I peeled out of the parking lot, I thought about how for several weeks, I'd allowed myself to be seduced by a well-dressed person with a big white smile and magnetic personality, someone who'd seemed so genuine and principled.

I felt betrayed and a little angry, but not at Nancy.    

The class we'd taken together had been heavy on self-analysis but apparently I hadn't dug deeply enough.