Man Talk Now's Blog

Testosterone Ain't Hormone Pollution
OCTOBER 13, 2013 4:54PM

Bereft and Free

No man likes to hear the words, “We need to talk.”  

It’s what we hear from women when they’ve been thinking too much. When they want to change something small or big to better suit their interests or preferences. It foreshadows a case to be madeRead full post »

OCTOBER 7, 2013 5:32PM

Sex With You is a Bad Metaphor


Dinner with a woman you hope soon to see naked is a pleasure like no other. The singular focus. That tunnel vision as everything around you blurs, leaving only the lady in sharp focus. The joy of anticipated mutual conquest.

As we’d finished our after-dinner drinks, I grinned… Read full post »

AUGUST 27, 2013 3:47PM

Dinner with a Slut

“I enjoy men,” she said, looking at me boldly, smiling.

Gianna’s English is perfect, the result of nearly 10 years working in New York and Boston. But her Italian accent betrays her country of birth.

“That’s an interesting way to put it,” I replied, pouri… Read full post »

AUGUST 7, 2013 1:28PM

I Think I'm Having a Gay Affair


Look, I’ve got nothing against the gays. As far as I’m concerned, gays make life better. Seriously. Think of any place that discourages gays from indulging in their gaiety. That place will be a colorless, soulless hellhole, like Russia, or Iran, or Zimbabwe, or the Republican Party… Read full post »

AUGUST 6, 2013 6:57PM

Pretty Got Fat

 “Oh my GOD!” ejaculated someone behind me, nearly causing me to drop two bottles of red and two bottles of white. I restored my awkward grip on the wine, then turned cautiously to see what the calamity was all about. 

“I don’t freaking believe it!” sa… Read full post »

They are practical things, sirens. They fulfill a function. They are alerts. Warnings. They are designed not just to get our attention, but to demand it. And to command us to undertake well-understood actions. They are simple machines, of simple genius. They always work.

They have side effec… Read full post »


It was a beautiful day. I kept thinking about that. The place was so lovely. I couldn’t stop thinking about the sun and the gentle wind, and the fragrant scent of flowers and flowering trees.

When you’re confronting this, there should be sad-faced professionals telling you what… Read full post »

 It was a great week for men!

Actually, all weeks are great for men. It’s a man’s world, and we’re not going to relinquish it without a fight.

Monday got us off to an excellent start, thanks to NBA player Jason Collins’ decision to come outRead full post »

Here at Open Salon, we once grappled with the serious issues, and we cared a lot about the craft of writing.

By “we”, of course, I don’t mean “me”. I’m the guy who’s spent years typing out irrelevant, banal tripe, and once wrote a post… Read full post »

Hamm and sausage


These days, everyone’s talking about the Mad Man’s mega member. And why not? I don’t know about you, but I get a little tired of worrying all the time about SCOTUS, the s… Read full post »


When trouble visits my friend Rodney, he calls me. That makes me happy. I love Rodney. We’ve been through a lot together, good stuff and bad. Everyone should know the deep affirmation of being someone’s go-to guy.

Still, this particular call from Rodney was extremely surprising.… Read full post »

Obey your body kiwi nail care kit

There are lots of irritating things about the Rest of the World. For one, most of the people who live there still stubbornly insist on speaking languages that aren’t English, or even one of the other (supplementary) languages I currently have. I do wish they’d hurry… Read full post »

MARCH 3, 2013 6:42PM

You Have to Pee Again, Don't You?


When you’ve made love with a partner enough times, and if you’re the type of lover who actually pays attention, you pick up on certain rhythms.

From the gentleman’s perspective, one thing you learn is that she’s a different woman now than she was the last time. Her… Read full post »

Dronification of America


Back in 2013, we were still relatively innocent. Drones were things that blew up bad guys in dusty countries. And sometimes collaterally damaged some dusty innocents. There w… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 9, 2013 4:07PM

The Enduring Anxiety of a Sex Tape



Let’s get this out of the way first: You’re right, and we can agree without reservation about the extreme degree of foolishness on my part.

When I was a bit younger and less wise than I am today, I sa… Read full post »

FEBRUARY 4, 2013 6:20PM

You Should Get Married, She Said


Marianne and I were drinking together at our usual spot. She chose the spot a few years ago, and it was fine with me. It’s stylish without being trendy. It’s the kind of place professional women like, because they can wear a suit and still feel rather sexy. And… Read full post »

JANUARY 16, 2013 12:26PM

Ruins Everything

Things are good. I should be very happy. But I’m not, damn it.

Flights on time. Hotel’s fine. Contract’s mine.

The trip was worth it, and I got the business. But I’m mad, and I want to punch someone.

Because I have a nasty cold. Because… Read full post »

Image via 
The Smoking Gun posted a report today revealing that former US Olympic runner Suzy Favor-Hamilton has spent a year working part-time as an expensive Las Vegas escort. Thanks to the Internet, we now know what everyone thinks about this partic… Read full post »
DECEMBER 17, 2012 12:33AM

It's Okay to Lie to Me, Pretty

 No, I’m not mad.

It’s okay that you lied, and your secrets are safe with me.

I’d be one to talk.

It doesn’t make it any less, or more, does it?


You lied pretty and well.

And still we knew, we knew.… Read full post »

Geneva, October 16, 2012 – Well-known attractive person and sometime actor Brad Pitt has had his membership revoked by the world’s premier club for handsome men. An announcement today by the Geneva-based Congrès Orageux des Hommes Chics (COHC) cited Mr. Pitt’s new advertisi

Read full post »
OCTOBER 4, 2012 12:50PM

How to Win Any Debate


All debates are fundamentally the same. All of them, regardless of venue or format. Whether you win or lose is always a function of just a few things, because debates are simple, wonderful things. Whatever the issues, and whatever the personalities involved, a debate is a distillation of knowl… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 28, 2012 4:09PM

Man Vexed by Complex Ex Sex Specs


I love morning. I greet virtually every morning the same way. My eyes open from pleasant, engrossing dreams, because God loves me when I’m asleep.

I stretch wide and far, and utter to myself some nonsense growl or grunt, cheerful and unintelligible. Beneath the sheets, firm evidence of my…

Read full post »

reef shark 


“Would you look at that?” said Reg, tapping a copy of the New York Times with his pectoral fin. “You humans publish this kind of crap every day.”

I scanned the article. It was a story about a territorial dispute between Japan and China, over islands in the… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
SEPTEMBER 4, 2012 10:59AM

I Cut My Marvelous Hair. And Lost My Identity.



I’m disgruntled, and it’s my own damn fault. Which is usually the case.

My shaggy locks are gone. Those lovely dark waves and curls, so admired by lady companions, by balding friends, and most of all by me. Gone. Now, when I look in the mirror, something I used… Read full post »



I’m having difficulty keeping track of the feuds, scuffles, skirmishes and wars. I can’t figure out who’s in which tribe. How the hell can I know how to take sides?

I mean, I’ve got a vague idea of which personalities seem to itch for fights, which people feel mo… Read full post »