- April 29
- As a kid, I wanted to be a doctor. "If you can see yourself doing anything else, do that," people told me very helpfully. Having been home schooled for 12 years, it never occurred to me to question authority. So I became a journalist instead, and was given the same career advice (but far, far less money than a doctor might have made. Thanks, guys.). After enduring a spectacularly mediocre five years in journalism, I dropped that -- and my premed courses -- and Became a Mommy. Luckily for my children, there are significant safeguards in place to prevent people from abandoning this particular career, so they're stuck with me. And now that I have an Open Salon blog, so are you. Ha!
MY RECENT POSTS
- Lschmoopie's Open Call: My
January 02, 2011 03:57PM
- My glorious 20 minutes as a
December 02, 2010 10:27PM
- Soy formula as a cornbread
ingredient (& other tales of
November 24, 2010 01:25AM
- Things that go through your
mind when you're hit by a semi
November 18, 2010 06:04PM
- The Slow Kid
November 12, 2010 02:59AM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “Great post, Cranky. And
Linda is right -- those who
know who Don Cherry
June 17, 2011 01:08PM
March 06, 2011 01:53PM
- “Let go of the mommy
guilt! Big Pharma isn't always
-- but sometimes
March 05, 2011 08:45PM
- “Thanks for the giggles,
Linda! I'm glad I read this at
it will save me
March 05, 2011 01:22AM
- “Sorry, I don't buy that
Charlie Sheen wrote this.
February 26, 2011 08:51PM
In an alternate world somewhere, I write at an antique desk in my own private space -- a well-worn, gently sunlit dormer with pale-green walls on the third floor of a century-old mansion, perhaps. Book ideas are neatly organized on bulletin boards (for I am a visual person) and a maid… Read full post »
I’m a terrible liar – of the incompetent variety, not the inveterate type. On the few occasions I’ve been asked to lie for someone, I’ve stammered and jabbered and overexplained. While other people may “misspeak themselves” with facility and flair, thei… Read full post »
We were poor that year. We were always poor, since my
father was a country preacher, but this year we were particularly
down-and-out. Dad had decided to go back to school and earn a
bachelor’s degree in ministry, which he would later use
as a glorified cashier in big-box stores in… Read full post »
Sometimes, something will just hit you like a semi truck. And occasionally, that thing is an actual semi truck.
There you are, driving along, minding your own business, when the cab of a tractor-trailer suddenly veers in front of you.
“Well, there goes my day,” you think.… Read full post »
“Aww, what a cute little guy,” says one of the class moms, brightly, watching a happy, red-cheeked boy race about aimlessly on the soccer field, dimples flashing. “Is he coming to school next term?”
“Oh, he’s 3 already. He’s in the afternoon class,” sa… Read full post »
Please feel free to cook for me. But don’t expect me to return the favor, unless you are comfortable consuming something that is either burnt or half-raw, spiced beyond the brink of sanity and whose measurements were improperly converted while doubling the recipe. (Although my culinary skills d… Read full post »
Have you tried the trendy new Facebook meme all your friends are sharing?
“What’s Your Redneck Name?” is out. The AQ is in.
AQ stands for Autism-Spectrum Quotient, and if your 3,500 closest friends and you are posting your AQ scores, it’s a pretty safe bet you’re… Read full post »
“It’s locked,” I said, trying the rusty white handle of the screen door as the other neighborhood kids cupped hands over brows to dim the midafternoon sunlight as they peered through the murky glass. We had expected as much, considering who lived here.
Our street was a block… Read full post »
You’d think I’m injecting my 5-year-old daughter with heroin, to hear the other moms talk.
“Drugs are just a Band-Aid solution,” they’ll say – these mothers of non-learning disabled children who believe all problems can be avoided by Good Parenting.
“I can… Read full post »