I know. I know It is hard to believe that the Republicans have left us bereft of a debate.
Since May they have staged 25 debacles, I mean debates. Some even came with themes: Tea Party Issues; The Economy; Western Voter Issues (as opposed to American Voter Issues, I guess); Foreign Policy; and National Security (twice). I assume specified themes were intended to help us figure out what the hell they were talking about. For me, it didn’t work. Even with subtitles and a map I would have difficulty following the paths of reason these guys (and for one brief, shining moment, woman) meander down.
That is why, my fellow Americans, we must rise up and demand the one themed Republican debate we really need.
The Rorschach Test Debate!
I include for your viewing pleasure a sample of card 1.
The Rorschach test purports to offer some clue to the cognitive processes, personality, and affectivity of its subject matter. Which is interesting, since when I watch these contestants, I mean candidates, the phrase most often passing through my mind is get a clue.
Can’t you just image the break-out-the-popcorn entertainment a debate like this could provide? And it would have the added benefit of supplying...some might say “confirming”... valuable insight into what makes these chowder heads, I mean candidates, tick.
The real tragedy is that we have already lost so many of the clowns, I mean candidates, but maybe we could arrange back-by-popular-demand appearances from Rick, Michelle and Herman. Why bother bringing back Huntsman? The first time around he didn’t even make a big enough impression to be recognized solely by his first name, even with its non-h spelling.
Most likely this debate would require a NC-17 rating and an additional warning that material contained within might not be appropriate for some members of the viewing audience. Like those wishing to retain their sanity, for instance. The words you can’t unring a bell come to mind.
But other than that, it would be a blast.
And EASY. Just flash the cards, and let the jokers, I mean candidates, have at it. Can’t you just imagine a free-wheeling, stream of consciousness fueled diatribe coming from Newt? Oh, wait...that wouldn’t be so new. Can’t you just imagine a free-wheeling, stream of consciousness fueled rant coming from Ron Paul? Oh, wait ...again, not so different, huh? I got it...can’t you just imagine a carefully-scripted-to-appear-to-be free-wheeling, stream of consciousness fueled oration coming from Romney? (Or as I like to call him, Mr. Pathologically Insincere.)
Maybe the best aspect is that the Rorschach cards eliminate the need for a ring master, I mean moderator, thus removing the opportunity for said moderator to step on certain anatomy while formulating a question. Would you like to take some time to respond to that? Seriously? The only thing John King needed to add to that question to make it more ridiculous were the words “kind sir.” But don’t get me started.