DISGRACED GERMAN DEFENSE MINISTER (Dr.) Karl Theodor zu Guttenberg, who once seemed to be on the fast track to the chancellorship, has suffered many humiliations since losing his job and his budding career last spring over a plagiarism scandal (I’ve been writing about him extensively on my blog). Now the once-mighty “Black Baron” has received the ultimate putdown – a cream pie delivered straight to the kisser.
After resigning nearly a year ago, Guttenberg fled with his wife and daughters to the USA, where he hoped to whitewash his besmirched name and reinvent his career, American-style, with an eye to an eventual comeback. A kindly Washington think-tank, the Center for Strategic and International Studies, took the refugee in, and the family bought a house in Connecticut. No surprise there. According to Wikileaks, Guttenberg has long been “America’s man in Berlin.”
Baron Guttenberg, shown here pie-free
Then, last autumn – inexplicably without his trademark glasses and with a new hairdo – he exploded back on the scene, delivering a knockout speech at a security conference in Halifax and dishing out criticism right and left in a new interview book. He then headed for Brussels, where, counterintuitively, the man best remembered for cutting, pasting, and otherwise downloading his dodgy dissertation was appointed special adviser to the European Commission for global Internet freedom. At the turn of the year, though, he had made himself so unpopular that his political career in Germany seemed to be on permanent hold.
But he’s back in the headlines now. Scene of the crime: A café in the trendy eastern Berlin district of Friedrichshain yesterday, where the Baron arrived in his capacity as special adviser to conduct a discussion with blogger Stephan Urbach from the Pirate Party, a rising political star of the online generation. The discussion was proceeding amicably enough when suddenly a group of activists from the hacking group “Anonymous” and the “Hedonistic International” showed up, pie in hand. It was all over in two seconds.
What motivated the assault? In a statement, the activists complained that the conservative Guttenberg - a staunch ally in the “Global War on Terror” and an irrepressible cheerleader for the German army's Afghanistan mission - had once called for data retention and strict controls on Internet use. They said that “when he starts pretending to be interested in Internet freedom, it’s like appointing Silvio Berlusconi the special adviser on women’s rights.” As successful as the attack was, the groups nevertheless exhibited some remorse. “The whipped cream content wasn’t high enough,” they complained. “We cut costs in the wrong place.” They also expressed some surprise at the minister’s response. “Why didn’t he resist?” they asked. “Wasn’t he once a defense minister?”
For his part, Baron Guttenberg took the attack in stride. Noblesse oblige, after all. “Hurray, a pie attack!” he told reporters afterward. “I thought I was going to starve in Friedrichshain. But, thank god, two activists took mercy on me. A wonderful Black Forest cherry pie. You can make it a cheesecake next time!”
The Baron may get his wish. Anonymous and the Hedonistic International have promised to pie him every time he shows his face in Germany.
On a related topic, see my essay:
The tomato that launched a women's revolution
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Sally Allen
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Comments
Pies in the face, plus eggs, water balloons, and paint pouches have a distinguished tradition in this country. It's probably easier to count the politicians who HAVEN'T been pied!