An Imqerfect Place

...screws fall out all the time

lorianne

lorianne
Location
California,
Birthday
March 05
Bio
I live & write in Southern California. I would like to buy a little monkey if they are not too expensive and put him in the basket of my poetry bicycle then ride around in big, lazy circles while wearing a pair of combat boots and a sun dress with no panties. ______________________________________ I have published and been published, but what matters most is what I am writing today. ______________________________________ I did not write this bio and I am not nearly as serious as my photo suggests.

MY RECENT POSTS

MAY 3, 2012 1:44PM

Poetry Sleeps Beneath The I-5 Freeway

Rate: 20 Flag

 

a new poem & an older, revised one. these people disturb my peace.
 
 

 
  Obie Quotes Goya 

hungry could use help
no pretense of will work
just matter of fact
black on limp cardboard

his clothes the color of earth
some stains as fresh as today
some as old as his eyes

his skeletal form sways
head hung
round shoulders and concave chest
like an S on the side of the road
a man trying to fold into himself

maybe it was his face
etched by brutal squint of sun
the shadow of  brow
acrosss broken eyes
the scratch of callous
as one finger slid along
the contour of my hand
intimate, familiar

maybe it was his voice
too sane, too spotless
as he softly said
el sueño de la razón
produce monstruos

that made me understand

we are all as lost as he 

zz

 

 

Tasha Speaks

the worst part is it's never quiet
the sounds get inside your head
they rattle from lobe to lobe
forming patterns and circles and chains

last night we slept beneath the freeway
tightly tucked in the narrow place
between vibrating concrete
and dry coughing dirt

i hate the whoosh rush of cars
the rolling cooooorrrrrr of pigeons
asleep in the steel above our heads
Ole Boy says it sounds like a lullaby
to me it sounds like a song about sinners
played by the hands of a disappointed god

 

z

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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Comments

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Magnificent poems.

coooorrr of pigeons, that S by the road, his folding in, the dry coughing dirt.

You know what to say, how to combine familiar words into new phrases, and when to stop. Lean lines, pinprick smart, lush undertows of compassion, oblique grief stripped of sentiment. Magnificent.
Greg - thank you so much. of all your very kind words, "grief stripped of sentiment" was the highest compliment, because as you seem to know, that is the goal; to reproduce the emotion on paper in its most raw / pure form... at least thats my goal.
I only wish I could say so much using so few words....
wonderful writing
etched by brutal squint of sun ~

we're either asleep together or awake together. no point in dressing it up.
pensive - thank you. whatcha need to do is cultivate your lazy side. thats my secret...too lazy to say too many words :)
They become more alive with each reading. So do we. You've given us eternity.
Two beautiful poems on a difficult, troubling subject. R
i noticed some of the same things greg did, especially the pigeons and the dry coughing dirt. the quote in spanish in the first poem caught my breath quickly. excellent work, lorianne.
The Sleep of Reason Produces Monsters ...
Yes.. raw, pure
"maybe it was his face
etched by brutal squint of sun
the shadow of brow
acrosss broken eyes"

I see these people ever day and sometimes their broken eyes reach down to their soul.
May we just hope for some peace for them.

HUGGGGGGGGG
Impressive writing
~R~
Almost merciless, & that's how it is ~
thanks, lorianne.
These are both lovely and haunting. They will stay with me.
So easy to forget that the lost souls who challenge our fears are still human beings... been on both sides of that coin.
haunting and beautiful. The line that grabs me is, "a man trying to fold into himself"
catch - if only more people believed that, then there would be no them... only us.

frosty funk (great name) - thanks. when i see them, i cant stop seeing them.

gerald - thank you & yes, it troubles me... s'why i name them.
candace - thanks for stopping (and you always do...which is so very kind) - those words, spoken aloud... they stopped me dead... very wonderful/strange.

larry - yup yup and so many monsters it seems

tool - thank you for taking the time to read. raw & pure, i like the ouch/ahhh of it.
linda - sometimes their eyes reach right down to mine.

inverted - respuesta perfecta
Jl said it best for me. Well done. :D
I like the juxtaposition in the way each feels about where they are, the first (love the title) intimately acquainted with the feel of the earth beneath him. The next, uncomfortable with the place life finds her.
Eloquently described; two parts of a much bigger whole.
we are all as lost as he ..
that is for damn sure! well,thank heavens we have each other.
other?
ha. what a farce,this idea of other
sentiment has its place, and should be brought out
only when you trust the person,i say!

reproduction of emotion is what needs to be done.
emotion is motion.
it flies by so quickly, or
it settles in for a cramp. a cramp in your soul.

exercise!
that is the thing to do..

uncramp! reason sleeps sometimes.we get unreasonably
alone.then what happens is our ears
get used to
"song(s) about sinners
played by the hands of a disappointed god"

ay.
the only solution i see is to get quiet. quietism?

"the worst part is it's never quiet
the sounds get inside your head
they rattle from lobe to lobe
forming patterns and circles and chains