I wish I wrote this, but I didn't.  It was written my my great-grandmother to her sister while she was hospitalized with gall bladder disease (of which I also suffered several years ago).   

February 4, 1926 Battle Creek, Michigan 

Dear Sister,

I came here you know to find out what was wrong

I had been ill so many weeks and could not get along

So on a winter’s morning bright I entered that door

And started on that well worn path by thousands trod before

I told important facts to kind Miss Zahn and then

She took me to my doctor and I told the way and when

And how and all about my life, my parent’s life as well

And even back to Grandpa I had to think and tell

She poked me here and there and said, your colon’s on the blink

And all your trouble comes from your gall bladder I should think

But we will have the Graham test and find out all for sure

She knows whereof she speaks, this Doc although she is demure

But first they garb me in a sheet pinned with a safety pin

And worn by old and young alike, by fat as well as thin

By rich and poor, by tall and short by ladies dark or fair

I know sometime downtown I’ll go but naught a sheet I’ll wear

We start out then on the exams, my little nurse and I

We beard the doctors in their dens and look them in the eye

They also look into my eyes, examine teeth and gums

They prick my tonsils; test my blood and the strength of heart and lungs

The hearts and lungs they fluoroscope and shadowgraph they take

And then I eat a chalky meal and an x-ray model make

The Roentgen rays are turned on me for several weary days

Till I get tired of posing for the pesky old x-rays

My height and weight are taken and my blood is analyzed

They filch half a pint or so that my own system prized

And then they have the Graham test for all but me it’s fun

They put blue dye into my arm and watch and see it run

It runs around the blood stream; it seeks a friend indeed

My gall bladder the goal is of the interloper’s speed

But oh this indigo did not go and make me very ill

I felt so bad I thought I’d die and lay in bed so still

But after resting up awhile one day I felt more fit

I little knew they planned a game and I was to be “it”

By “they” I mean my doctor and another medico

And little knew wot I of the test that filled me next with woe

The said “we’ll play charades” You know about the early worm.

Well you can be the early bird that swallows every squirm

So bright and fair” I came to seek but one had beat me to it

Another tries her worm to gulp, her tummy tried to spew it

Now see, they said this rubber tube so nice and long and tender

You will not mind to gulp it down it is so very slender

I swallowed it some yards and yards head first almost the tail

And nearly had a duet with the other victim’s wail

But now they bring, oh dainty feast, six crackers on a tray

Two glasses, water, “eat and drink it quickly now” they say

To get the tube above your teeth and gobble, gulp and chew

Is not what it’s cracked up to be whatever way you view?

To lie two hours and half and keep that tube from harm

As cannibal snake charmer, who has failed her pet to charm?

Is bad, but five times with a pump appears the busy nurse

And pumps up samples of my meal that is surely much worse

But worst of all, the other lady makes an awful fuss

She chokes and howls and sputters and regardless of the muss

Her breakfast goes upon the floor and everywhere about

I put my fingers in my ears, she nearly kooks me out

Well now that is over.  Goodness knows, I would not wish it back

But now the other things I’ll tell, of subjects there’s no lack

At 7 A.M. the nurse arrives and I have an icy bath

Then breakfast tray at eight sheds quite a light upon my path

At nine I go to massage and at the colon go

With hand electricity it’s kneaded just like dough

I have both my solutions No. 1 and No. 2

I have fomentation next, hot packs at first then ice

Is rubbed upon you but get so you think it nice

And then you have a bath of sorts, ‘lectricity or salt

You have a fellow feeling for your Skeesics and old Walt

You have a rub and you in your chair you roll back to your room,

And read your letters until dinner comes to chase away the gloom

The cooking is so very good and everything you eat

From cereal to vegetable you never miss the meat

Well I am through and now I wait and gather strength and rest

To see if they cannot scare me up another test

Three doctors have examined me and punched and looked me over

I know my tummy they would know even if my face I’d cover

The treatments and massage are fine; I think I’m feeling better

And write this “home” to tell you so instead of any letter

They may decide to operate if so I’ll come out fine

For they are just the very best and clever in that line

If Dr. Chase gets cutting up and takes out my gall bladder

I’ll never miss its presence and in fact I will be gladder

So worry not, my love I send, I’m here in the best of hands

And hope you’ll all enjoy yourselves while treading Africa’s strands  

Lovingly, Laura