The English language can be tricky and confusing, especially if you are from West Virginia or Outer Mongolia. Add a letter, or take a letter away, and suddenly you have an entirely different meaning.
For example, a sign at McDonald's suggested that I "Try the New Anus Pounder." The "Anus Pounder" wasn't available at the drive thru so I decided to just get some fries.
My experience with my last therapist ended on a sour note. He said that I was a paranoid schizophrenic, and I told him that he was an incorrigble asshole. As a parting gift, I adjusted the sign outside his office to read:
The rapist instead of Therapist. I heard that his business took a turn for the worse. I haven't found a new therapist yet, but I'm feeling much better.
The University of South Carolina sports team name is the "Gamecocks." Having a name like that puts a lot of pressure on a guy which is one reason why they haven't won a national championship in football. Is it possible that the players are expending too much energy in the locker room before the game, stretching out their cocks? My theory about the Gamecocks was recently disproved as the University of South Carolina won the baseball national championship. Congratulations to all you "cock fans" out there, and no, I won't shake your hand.
One last example before I go walk the dog with my friend, Rufus Thomas. Where I grew up the best soft ice cream came from "Carvel" - not "Dairy Queen." Sorry to offend any of you Dairy Queens or Milk Maids, but Carvel's soft ice cream creams Dairy Queen, no doubt about it.
The owner of Carvel was this crazy old dude named Tom Carvel and he did all his own commercials even though he sounded like he had his larynx removed. One of his advertising slogans was "Wednesday is Sundae at Carvel." Buy one ice cream sundae on Wednesday and get the second one free. A classmate of mine who wasn't too bright tried to convince his mom that he didn't have to go to school on Wednesdays, because the almighty Tom Carvel had changed Wednesday to Sunday.
"Is Little Willie ever going to talk about how he knew that Marvin wasn't Gay(e)?"
No, but I'm pretty sure I've got the Barry wasn't Whit(e) thing right.